On the Shore (Cottonwood Cove, #3)(82)
It was our first day out of the bubble. Our first real obstacle and it was already a shitstorm.
I walked into the bathroom and shut the door before turning on the faucet in the bathtub.
I needed space.
I tied my hair up and slipped into the water, letting myself cry all the tears until there was nothing left.
This day had been an eye-opener regarding my future.
For the first time in my adult life, I was doubting myself. Wondering if anyone was genuinely considering hiring me based on my writing skills.
How would Lincoln look at me if I didn’t have anything of my own to be proud of? If my entire life was wrapped up solely around him.
That was not how relationships were supposed to work. There was supposed to be balance.
I may not be the GOAT of the NFL, but I was proud of the work that I did out in the field. Of the interviews that I’d conducted over the years and the way I could use my words to present people to the world in the best light.
But would anyone even consider that when they looked at me now? Once word got out that I was dating Lincoln Hendrix? Hell, Lou Colson didn’t even know we were a couple. Just the fact that Lincoln had awarded me with the story of a lifetime had been the reason he’d shown any interest in me.
It was never about me or my writing ability.
They wanted Lincoln.
This was all new to me, and my head was spinning.
I knew if I stayed here right now that Lincoln would try to fix this for me.
But just like he needed time to figure out where he wanted to play all those months ago, I needed to figure out my future, too.
I dried off and got dressed, throwing my clothes into my bag and dragging my suitcase out.
Lincoln was just closing the front door, and he held up a bag of food from our favorite restaurant in the city.
But I wasn’t in the mood to eat or to celebrate.
His gaze moved to my suitcase. “The first sign of trouble, and you’re already running?”
“I’m not running, Lincoln. I’m going home. I need to think. I need to see how this works. I need to know where I fit.”
“You fit right fucking here,” he said, his hand pounding on his chest. “If you don’t know that, then you don’t know me the way that I thought you did.”
I cleared my throat and tipped up my chin. “I know you. I know you’ll just try to fix this and tell me everything will be fine. But I need to figure out my stuff, and I can’t do that when I’m with you.”
“Why the fuck not?”
“Because I love you. And I want to make you happy. But I need to make sure I don’t smother myself in the process. Can you just give me this time?”
“It doesn’t sound like I have a choice.” He wrapped his arms around me. “But you don’t need to leave. I fly out tomorrow. This is your home.”
“I need to think, Lincoln. I do that best at home, sitting on the shore.” I pushed up on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek.
It felt like goodbye.
But neither of us was willing to say those words.
thirty
Lincoln
“That was an impressive first day, Linc,” Coach Balboa said. “You’re exactly what this team needs. I think we’re going to take it the whole way this year.”
“Yeah. It’s a great group of guys. We’re going to work well together.”
“You’re at the hotel for now, right? You going to check out a few houses this week?” he asked as we walked toward the locker room.
I nodded, but my gut was in knots today. I hadn’t slept well the last two nights because I missed my girl something fierce. We’d barely spoken, but I’d called to check on her a few times. I was trying to respect her space, but it was fucking killing me.
“Yep. I have a few homes lined up to tour later in the week.”
“When is Brinkley coming out?” he asked. He knew we were together, as did Brett and Lenny. Hell, they’d all seen it the first time they’d met her before we were even together. I think they probably knew before I did.
I scrubbed a hand down the back of my neck and let out a breath. “Not sure. She’s going through some shit. You know, dating me isn’t easy, especially if you’re trying to make a name for yourself as a sports journalist.”
He came to a stop. “How so?”
“You don’t need to waste your time on this shit. You’ve got a team to coach.”
“Lincoln, you’re a member of this team. That means we’re family. Your problems are my problems. Tell me what’s going on. I’ve been married for thirty-five years, and I have three daughters. I know a thing or two about women.” I smiled. This was what I hadn’t had on my last team. Balboa actually cared about his players, and we weren’t just dollar signs to him.
“She had an interview with Sports Today the day before I flew out. They asked that she bring me along to the interview.”
“It’s not public knowledge that you’re a couple yet, right? Why’d they want you there?”
“She wrote that story about me, and she’s been shopping it around. Obviously, they want it. So, they were going to make her an offer for a full-time position, along with her agreeing to give them the story. But when we got there, they didn’t do that. They basically just wanted me to agree to as many interviews as they wanted as leverage to give her a job. They treated her pretty shitty, and I got her the hell out of there.”