One Golden Summer(54)

“Are you?”

“No.” His gaze darkens as his fingers continue trailing along my arm. “Even though I can’t stop thinking about all the ways I could make you scream my name.”

His admission lands straight between my legs. “What’s holding you back?”

Charlie cups my chin in his hand, and stares at me, his gaze stormy. “I was hoping you would.”

I shake my head slowly. “I have another idea.”

Charlie’s thumb traces my jaw. “That sounds risky.”

“Maybe it is.”

Charlie lowers his head to mine. My heart thrashes as his lips graze the corner of my mouth. But he doesn’t kiss me. Instead, he whispers “I knew you’d be trouble” against my ear.

I shut my eyes before pulling away. “Take me inside,” I say again.

This time Charlie opens the door.

I duck to pass into the space, but inside the ceiling is high enough for even Charlie to stand. I turn around in a circle. It’s a small square room with two single-pane windows looking onto the lake and another out to the bush. It has that amazing fresh lumber smell. There’s not much in the way of furnishings—just a bamboo-framed couch and a low table beside it. I hear the flick of a lighter and turn to see Charlie ignite an old-fashioned oil lantern. It makes the whole room glow. There are two rolled-up sleeping bags in the corner.

“Were you expecting me?” I say, gesturing to them.

He shakes his head slowly. “You are the last thing I expected,” he says.

I stare at the lamplight blazing in his eyes. Has my heart ever beat this fast?

“I bought the sleeping bags so you and Bennett could camp out here,” Charlie continues. “There’s a blow-up mattress kicking around the basement of the house, and if you position it under the window, you’d be able to see the stars.”

It’s as if there are a hundred tiny fireworks exploding in my chest. I walk toward him until there’s only a breath of space separating us.

“I never thought I’d be happy that my sister canceled, but I’d rather sleep under the stars with you. I like you. I like being with you.” Every inch of my body feels like it’s on fire. Each cell is alive. I can feel my pulse in my lips, my neck, my wrists. “And you like me.”

He’s deadly still. “We’re friends.”

“Do you think about making your other friends scream your name?”

He pauses but doesn’t concede. “I started sleeping around when I was fourteen. I’ve made a lot of people scream my name.”

He’s trying to scare me off, but I won’t scare easily. “That’s not what I asked.”

Charlie’s eyes drop to my mouth, and when they return to me, there’s no mistaking the desire in them. His gaze is unflinching. For a moment, we remain that way, focused on each other, chests moving with short, shallow breaths.

“No,” Charlie says. “It isn’t.” Quivering golden light caresses the contours of his face. He steps closer, head tilted down to me. The space seems to close in around us. My stomach flips, and I think that’s what he wants. He’s trying to make me nervous, to call my bluff.

“I see you when I close my eyes at night,” he says, eyes burning. “You fill my dreams. I think of you when I’m in the shower. I imagine how it would be to have you on top of me, how your hair would feel falling against my chest. I’ve thought about how many times I could make you come with my mouth. With my fingers. With both.”

My lips part. My knees go weak. “Don’t stop.”

The twist of his mouth becomes wicked.

“I’ve wondered how long I could hold out when I finally had you. And if I could make you beg for me. I’ve fantasized about how you would taste. How you would feel around me. Since I met you, you’re the only person I’ve imagined screaming my name.”

It is an effort not to launch myself into his arms and ask for everything he’s just described.

“Can you use the rest of your body as well as you use your mouth?”

Charlie’s eyes glimmer. “Better.”

“And you like me.” I reach up, running my fingers over his hair. The newly shorn strands tickle my skin.

Charlie takes my face in his hands. “I think I might like you more than anyone.”

I turn my face in to his palm and lay a kiss there. Charlie closes his eyes briefly and inhales through his nose.

“But you deserve someone who can give you more,” he says, looking at me with new determination. “You’re smart and kind and funny. You’re a good person and, god, you’re beautiful, Alice.” He tucks a curl behind my ear, his eyes turning sad. “I love spending time with you, but I’m not in a place where I can get involved with anyone. I’m not built for a long-term relationship.”

Charlie is unlike anyone I’ve ever known. I’m unlike the Alice I know with him. I want more. And the way he’s holding himself back is more exhilarating than anything I’ve experienced. Confused eyes follow the curve of my mouth as I smile.

“I’m not looking for a boyfriend,” I say. “And in the name of transparency, I’ve also thought about you naked on occasion.”

His gaze crackles. “Oh yeah?”

“I blame that book you gave me.” I loop my arms around his neck, and Charlie places his hands at the base of my spine. It’s almost like we’re dancing.