Phoebe Berman's Gonna Lose It(17)

He sticks out his hand.

I stare at the veins in his outstretched arm for a beat too long before I finally shake his hand.

“I’m Finn, the new fourth-grade teacher. You must be Phoebe?”

I nod.

“I was told this is the place to go for some colored pencils. Do you mind if I borrow some, for the day? I promise I’ll bring them back.” He smirks, and I feel my face warm.

“I’m Phoebe.”

I hear Cheryl’s footsteps coming up behind me just in time to save me from myself.

“Here you go.” She hands him a box labeled Extra Colored Pencils, courtesy of my label maker.

“Thanks!” He reaches his arm out to shake Cheryl’s hand. I stay mesmerized by his veins while he introduces himself to her. “I just started over there.” He points out the window toward the Stone Building.

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” Cheryl says, and while she talks to Finn, I will my gaze away from his arms and begin fixating on the small sliver of ankle that’s visible below his cuffed pant leg. I keep my eyes down while Cheryl introduces herself.

Get it together.

“Well, I’m Cheryl, and you’ve met Phoebe. We were all so sad when Becky retired, but I have to say, I’m glad we’ve got some more young blood around here. Poor Phoebe’s always been the youngest here by at least twenty years.” She chuckles and pats my back, which anyone watching would assume is an innocuous gesture. But I know Cheryl, and I know it’s her subtle way of encouraging me to say something. “And if you need anything else, don’t be shy,” she adds while looking at me expectantly.

“I have a label maker if you need it,” I offer.

He smiles. “I’m good with the colored pencils for now, thanks.”

I nod, knowing that at some point in the future, he’ll come back for the label maker. Everyone always comes back for the label maker.

“It was great meeting you both. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

He ducks to avoid hitting his head on the doorframe on the way out, and I realize I’ve been holding my breath this entire time. Just as I’m about to exhale, he doubles back, peeking his head through the open door.

“By the way, Phoebe, I love your shirt,” he says with a wink.

I beam, my smile extending from ear to ear. “Thank you!”

I watch through our windows as he leaves, and only when he finally enters the Stone Building does my heart find its way back to its normal resting place. I finally unclench.

As if she can sense it, Cheryl shakes her head and lets out a laugh.

“You and that damn label maker.”



* * *



—

The kids line up behind the line leader of the day, a sweaty and smiling Charlie, yelling and pushing one another happily as they make their way outside for recess. Cheryl follows closely behind them, and I split off from the group to take my first, and probably only, bathroom break of the day.

The second I lock the bathroom door behind me, I reach into the depths of my skort for my phone and pull up the “no backing out” group chat. My hands are shaking with excitement.

Phoebe:

I found him

Alex:

Context?

Phoebe:

The guy I’m going to have sex with

His name is Finn He’s the new fourth-grade teacher

Nora:

Oh my god a workplace romance is so hot

You could hook up in the teachers’ lounge

Jonathan:

Send a picture!

Phoebe:

Everything’s happening so fast

I don’t even know his last name yet

But just trust me that he’s perfect

I’ll have to completely rework the list around him

Good thing I didn’t laminate it yet

Alex:

You’re still going on that date with Matthew

I check my unread texts to see if he’s responded. Usually by this time of day, Matthew would have already sent me his Wordle score, but still, there’s nothing from him. This is good, I convince myself. This is a sign. What are the odds that I’d make a detailed plan for how to lose my virginity, and the very next day, a gorgeous fourth-grade teacher with perfect ankles and strong, healthy arm veins would come knocking at my classroom door? It feels too much like fate to ignore, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned from all my romance consumption over the years, it’s that when the universe gives you a sign, you take it. And this is my sign that Finn is the one.

Phoebe:

Matthew didn’t respond

Which is perfect, because I don’t need any distractions from Finn Also, pulse check on Meg?

Alex:

Sound asleep on my bathroom floor.

Phoebe:

Sweet dreams

I send a quick Did anyone see Jonathan go home with someone? His bed was empty this morning…to the other three before I put my phone back in my pocket and race out the door without peeing. What’s another four hours of holding it?

I freeze midway through my trek up the gravel path to the playground when I spot Shannon, our assistant principal, talking to Cheryl by the swing set. Even with my terrible eyesight, the pink lipstick on her teeth is visible from a mile away. I managed to avoid her for the entirety of August while I was here setting up the classroom, but there’s nowhere to run now.