Phoebe Berman's Gonna Lose It(60)

He pauses before answering. “We will.” He nods, smiling at me without meeting my eyes.

What’s going on in your head, Jonathan?

All it used to take was one glance in his direction to know how he was feeling. I used to be able to read him as effortlessly as one of my romance novels. But recently, his emotions seem tangled up in one another. Like a knotted ball of yarn that I can’t seem to unravel.

“I promise.” He sticks out his hand, and I take it.





18


Tuesday

(Fifteen Days Left)

I can’t wait to see you tonight.

That’s what Finn said to me at afternoon dismissal. I had just buckled Danny into his car seat when I felt a presence behind me. Finn was on his way to his car when he said it.

Flustered, I gave him a double thumbs-up and a smile so wide, I could feel a breeze on my gums.

“They might get married,” Danny said to his mom. “Once they get to know each other a little better.”

“Is that so?” Danny’s mom winked at me behind her Prada sunglasses.

I shrugged. “Anything’s possible.”

Once the words left my mouth, I found myself latching on to them.

Anything’s possible.

My new mantra.

I chanted it under my breath the entire drive home from work. I recounted it to my reflection as I applied my lip tint and changed into my most flattering black cotton dress and ballet flats. And now I repeat the phrase as I climb into the back seat of my Uber. Tonight, at Brentwood Friends Academy’s Sixteenth Annual Middle School Fall Ball, anything is possible.

I buckle myself in and begin to go over the details of tonight’s plan. Call an Uber. Check. Arrive. Wait for Finn. Mention that my car is in the shop. Mention it again in case Finn misses it the first time. By this point, hopefully he will have offered to drive me home. If he hasn’t, I will be brave, and I will ask him. When he pulls up to my apartment, I won’t open the passenger-side door immediately. I’ll turn toward him, reveling in the sexual tension that accompanies a nighttime drop-off….

My phone buzzes in my lap. A FaceTime from Ethan.

I answer on the first ring. “Is everything okay?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” He lifts the edge of a severed coconut to his lips and sips. I recognize the cabana in the reflection of his sunglasses from Jamie’s countless Instagram stories. “Can’t a brother FaceTime his sister as he pleases?”

I suppress a smile while rolling my eyes. “Not when you’re on your honeymoon. You’re supposed to unplug and spend time with your wife. Speaking of, where is she?”

He pans over to the left, where Jamie, perfectly sun-kissed under her floppy straw hat, swipes at her phone screen with fierce determination. “She’s plugged.”

She gives Ethan a glare. “I’m editing the photos of us from the luau last night. The flash made you look demonic. Aloha, Pheebs!”

Ethan flips the camera back to himself before I get the chance to offer an aloha back. “Listen, we need to talk,” he says, raising his glasses to reveal two bright red strips of sunburnt skin below his eyes.

“About?”

He holds up his tattered copy of Keep It in the Family: An Unconventional Love Story.

“I finished.”

I gasp. “It’s about time!”

With all the wedding hullabaloo, Ethan’s been late to finish the August selection of our two-member book club. There used to be three of us, Jamie having been the third, but she quit only a few months after the club’s inception, claiming that the romance novels Ethan and I pick aren’t “real literature.” It’s just as well, since I would rather read my car manual twice over than have Jamie sic another one of the classics on us.

“Well?” I prod. “What did you think?”

He takes a giant gulp from his coconut. “I freakin’ loved it.”

“Right?” I beam. “The age gap between James and Mimi was risky, but I found it to be handled so tastefully.”

He nods. “So tastefully. And to be honest, I completely forgot it existed until we found out that James’s first wife was Mimi’s estranged mother.”

“Me too! And what a plot twist, by the way. I didn’t see it coming. What did you think about the scene in the outhouse?”

When Ethan and I get going, it can be hard to stop. Which is why Jamie cuts us off during my detailed recounting of James’s family tree.

“Let’s walk to the beach,” she nudges Ethan from off camera.

“Hold on.” I can see his brow furrow beneath his glasses. “So James’s daughter is actually Mimi’s half sister?”

“Yes. Which also makes Mimi her half sister’s stepmother,” I explain.

“Holy shit. How did I miss that?”

A freshly manicured hand reaches into the frame, grabbing the phone from Ethan. “I love you, Phoebe,” Jamie says with a sigh. “And I’m also hanging up on you.”

“Love y—” The call disconnects before I can finish. A blessing in disguise, considering I’ve just now looked out the window for the first time and we’re already pulling into the school parking lot.

I make my way to the teachers’ lounge, opening the door to find Cheryl in the midst of her punch preparations. Hunched over a bowl of pink liquid, she stirs intently while adding pieces of finely chopped fresh fruit to the mixture.