Problematic Summer Romance (Not in Love, #2)(21)

“I’m glad.”

Kaede gasps, delighted to hear Conor’s voice. Waddles our way as fireflies blink intermittently around her. Opens her little fist in his direction.

“Soil,” he says with a nod. “Of course.”

She blinks, owlish. Thrusts her chubby fingers at him.

“No,” he says flatly. “I’m not going to accept gifts of soil, dead plant matter, or rocks. I will not pretend to eat them. We have been over this multiple times, Kaede.”

Her round face splits in a toothy, charmed smile. No baby talk from Conor. Just straight-faced, adult interactions. He might respect her more than he does me.

Childish brat still rings in my ears.

“Is it painful?” I ask impulsively. Vengefully, too.

“Is what?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. Kaede, I guess.”

“Ah.” He shakes his head. “No. It’s not. Why would it be?”

“If you and Minami had stayed together, then Kaede would be yours.”

He smiles. “That’s not how meiosis works. You should have figured it out, since you’re the smartest person I know.”

I huff out a laugh. “I can’t be. It’s been years, and I still haven’t managed to figure you out.”

“That’s because there’s nothing to figure out, Maya.”

“Agree to disagree. I would love to know how you can go from being the most thoughtful person I’ve ever met to a raging asshole in no time. I would love to understand whether you’re pretending not to care now, or pretended to care for three years. Above all, and this might sound shallow, I’d love to know what the hell is going on here.” A confused silence. I feel his stare, and continue, “Why does nearly every woman in this house seem to have some kind of connection with you? There’s Minami, the historic ex. Avery, the other ex. Tamryn, the mysterious new entry. And then me, of course, the—”

“Don’t,” he says. So sharp that my eyes let go of Antares to find his. “Don’t put yourself in the same category as Minami, or Avery, or Tamryn. You do not belong there.”

It’s the verbal equivalent of a slap in the face. A deliberate one, I suspect. A few short years ago, the cruelty of his words would have sent me down a spiral of self-loathing and inadequacy. But I’ve been in therapy for too long to allow Conor Harkness, or anyone else, to make me feel inferior.

He doesn’t deserve my emotional turmoil, or my time.

I stand from the bench. At the table, Axel is brandishing a half-empty bottle of an orange liquor that looks exactly like what I need right now. Lucrezia shakes her head, scowls, and he laughs.

Maybe she could use some moral support. “Keep an eye on Kaede,” I tell Conor.

“Where are you going?”

“Elsewhere.”

His large hand envelops my wrist. “Maya.”

“What?” I ask over my shoulder. “I’d like to diversify my insult portfolio for the evening, and I have already sampled your offerings—”

“That’s not what I—Fuck, Maya.” He sighs. Rubs his eyes with his fingers, like I am the one who destroys his peace of mind. Tugs me downward till we’re sitting side by side again.

“We used to be able to have conversations without provoking each other,” he says after a pause.

“Oh, I remember. Do you?”

A hollow laugh, barely exhaled. “Maya…this is happening.”

“What is?”

“You and I. Here, together. For a week. After that, maybe you’re going to be working for Sanchez in California. Maybe you’ll take the MIT position. Either way, you’ll no longer be in Europe. We’ll meet again and again, and we’ll need to find a way to coexist during occasions like this one, because none of the people Eli surrounds himself with are stupid.”

Across the garden, Axel is still arguing with Lucrezia, waving his bottle like a flag, somehow breaking the language barrier. “Almost none,” Conor amends.

The long, amused look we exchange is like a well-beaten path, and brings me back to before.

I’m still the same, Conor, I think. How changed are you?

“What you overheard about Avery and me…I’m sorry, Maya. I can understand that it would be upsetting, that someone you used to think you cared about…That I would come to your brother’s wedding to be with someone else. In front of you.”

Laughter rises from the table. I feel heavy, but empty. “They’re very sure that you are perfect for each other,” I say softly.

“They?”

“Minami.”

“Minami just wants me to be paired up and happy.”

“And Sul.”

He snorts. “Sul hasn’t had an original opinion since he met Minami.”

“Eli does, too. And Tisha.”

“Hmm.” He seems indifferent. “Thank god for Rue, who couldn’t give less of a fuck.”

I smile. He does, too. “Do you still like her?” I ask after a minute.

“I do. I like that she’s made Eli happier than he’s ever been. Mostly, I like that she doesn’t give a shit about what I think of her.”

God. She would love this answer. “So, are you going to sleep with her?”