Raiders of the Lost Heart(64)

“You crushed me that night, Ford. I thought I’d been wrong about you. I thought I might actually like you. And then you did that . . .” This time her voice wasn’t quite so jovial. The hurt was obvious.

“I know . . . I know how it looks,” he said. “I’d actually tried avoiding her once I realized who she was, but she kept finding me at the party. I guess she thought I was playing hard to get. Thought I was a challenge that needed conquering. But, Corrie, honest to God, I did not go there for her. And we didn’t start dating until four weeks later, after I had confirmation that there was no saving what you and I had in the library. I never intended what happened with her.”

Her brows knitted together. “Wait . . . four weeks?” She stared off as if trying to piece it together, then looked straight at him. “Then how did you get the fellowship?”

Again, he knew how it looked to Corrie, especially when Dr. Crawley had originally planned to attend her dissertation defense during that four-week period but had been a no-show. Put together his making out with Addison and Dr. Crawley’s no-show appearance and, yes, it had probably looked like Ford had something to do with it. But he hadn’t.

“I don’t know why Dr. Crawley didn’t attend your dissertation, I swear. I didn’t even see or speak to Addison again until the week after. But she took me to her parents’ house to meet them for lunch shortly after we began dating, and he brought up the fellowship and how he’d been eyeing some people, but how he didn’t have time for interviews, and then Addison asked him what about me, and suddenly we were in his study talking, and . . . and . . . honestly, Corrie, it all happened so fast,” he rambled.

Eight years he’d been waiting to give her an explanation. Eight years and the best he could come up with was word vomit.

“I didn’t go there with the intention of taking it from you,” he continued, his mouth no longer a running faucet. “And I know I only got the position because of Addison. But I’m sorry. I’m sorry because I know how much it meant to you.”

“You swear?”

“Yes, I swear. Corrie, I never meant to hurt you.”

She sighed, her eyes cast downward. “Guess I didn’t have it in the bag after all. Sounds like I wasn’t even the only one in the running.”

Ford didn’t respond, but that was his understanding, too.

“God, I hated you so much for that. I feel foolish now. But I was so mad, thinking that you’d used me for that information.”

“That wasn’t it at all,” he said, reaching across the bed and taking her hand. “Corrie . . . I liked you—a lot. I mean, you terrified me and frustrated the heck out of me sometimes—still do—but I’d been attracted to you from the moment you raised your hand in our first Archaeological Theory class. And not simply because I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Though I’m sure you managed to inspire lots of crushes that day.”

“Is that so?”

“Absolutely. Corrie, I know you think that when people look at you all they see is this,” he said, swirling his hand in the air and waving it over her entire body, “but I see this . . .” He pressed his index and middle finger to her temple right above her eyebrow. “And this,” he then said, touching his fingers to her lips.

“Hey, you try maintaining these brows and this lip in the jungle without access to hot wax,” she said with a smirk.

He smiled. “No, smart-ass. I was referring to your brilliant mind and that sassy mouth that’s not afraid of anyone or anything. Though, I’m not going to lie—I really do enjoy the rest of you, too.”

“I really enjoy most of you as well.”

“Oh, really? Only most of me?” he said, pulling her toward him so their bodies were flush on the bed.

She nodded. “Mm-hmm. I like this,” she said, pointing to his eyes. “And this,” touching her hand to his head, then running her fingers lightly through the tips of his hair. “And all this,” she said, waving her hand over his taut physique. “And most of the time, this,” she finished, placing the tips of her fingers on his lips.

“Most of the time?”

“I mean, I don’t like when they’re telling me no for various reasons, but I like it when they’re smiling. And kissing me. And saying I’m sorry.”

Without hesitation, he pressed his lips to hers. The feeling was mutual. He’d never enjoyed kissing anyone as much as he enjoyed kissing her. That feisty mouth of hers teased him in more ways than one. From her smart-alecky taunts to her sultry pouts and unrivaled intelligence, he yearned for that mouth every hour of the day. And for the talents she’d perfected with it.

His hand reached up the back of her shirt, caressing her soft skin, as she glided her hands along his chest under his shirt, her elegant fingers trailing each ridge of his muscles, causing his body to shudder with goose bumps. He anticipated her every move yet was always surprised.

“Ford?” she asked as his lips moved to her neck.

“Mm-hmm?”

His mouth traveled along her sweet skin, tasting her like she was the most delicious thing ever to hit his taste buds.

“I know we said not tonight, but . . .” Her panting breath trailed off.

“Mm-hmm?”

A soft purr tore from her throat. “But . . . Ford . . . I want you so badly. I’ve always wanted you.”