Say You'll Remember Me(30)

I couldn’t remember the last time I felt like that with someone. Definitely with my dad, but not really with the men I dated. Not that they made me feel unsafe, but Xavier made me feel like the second I was with him, I entered into his care.

I trusted him.

Also, he’s really tall and he frowns a lot. Not sure anyone would mess with him.

We walked down the pier’s wooden planks, looking at the amusement park rides and vendors offering everything from your name on a grain of rice to caricature drawings, along with lots of Santa Monica merch. An old guy with a tip jar and a shitty amp was singing “My Heart Will Go On.”

“How is your mom?” Xavier asked while we stood at the edge of a crowd watching a man on a unicycle.

I shrugged. “As well as she can be under the circumstances. My stupid brother came home. He’s driving me bonkers.”

“How?”

“Existing?”

We kept walking.

“How are the friends?” I asked.

“Good. Asking about you.”

“And what did you tell them?”

We got to the end of the pier and leaned over the railing between fishermen, looking at the ocean.

“I told them the truth,” he said, turning to me. “That you gave me the most unforgettable night of my life, then told me to forget it.”

“Come on, Eileen, I’m sure you’ve had much more memorable nights than that one,” I said.

“It was my first alien abduction. You always remember your first.”

I laughed and he put an arm around me and we stared out over the water.

Seagulls hovered and squawked.

It was a little cold. The sun was shining and it was breezy. It was a beautiful view. Perfect for his first time laying his eyes on the sea.

I couldn’t recall the first time I saw the ocean. I’d been too young to remember. The Pacific was just so ingrained, it was a part of my very foundation. And even though I didn’t remember the first time, I had plenty of family memories over the years.

These were the kinds of things that Mom still remembered. Core memories so old, they’d be the last to go.

She was forgetting from the present backward. Her life on rewind, people and places and experiences blurring and vanishing. Maybe at the end all that would be left would be a memory like this one.

Xavier pulled me closer and I leaned my head against him. He was warm and firm and protective. I felt… peace.

A final memory like this one wouldn’t be so bad.





15





XAVIER


DON’T ROCK IT!”

“I’m not,” I said. “It’s just swaying from turning.”

We were at the top of the Ferris wheel on the Santa Monica Pier. Samantha was clinging to me like a wet cat.

“Why did you want to go if you’re scared of heights?” I asked, looking down at her, amused.

“I’m not scared of heights. I’m scared of falling. I wanted you to get all the iconic Santa Monica experiences,” she said, clutching me.

“You being terrified is an iconic Santa Monica experience?”

“STOP.”

I laughed. I didn’t like that she was scared, but I very much liked that she was hugging me.

I didn’t really know what the rules were going to be when I got here. Would we pick up where we left off in the escape room, or would we feel awkward? But it was immediately like it had been before, like we’d known each other forever. Our twentieth date. Like the UFO had been a time machine that aged our relationship.

I had no idea what I was doing here. It made me feel better that she didn’t either.

This was not nothing between us.

I was just taking this visit one second at a time, hoping I’d get some clarity on what would come next, but the only thing getting clearer was that I really, really wanted to kiss her. I’d wanted to do it on the pier when we were watching the guy on the unicycle and again when we were looking at the ocean and I definitely would have kissed her on this Ferris wheel if she weren’t having a panic attack.

We swung higher and the gondola pitched wildly back and forth.

“I can’t believe this doesn’t scare you,” she said.

“For the record, I will never have a good time if you aren’t having a good time. We should plan activities accordingly.”

“Shhhhhhhhh, enjoy your terrifying view.”

We swung upward again and she made a little squeak.

I squeezed her. “Think about mustard, it’ll all be over soon.”

I felt her laugh in my arms and I smiled, peering out over the horizon. Her sacrifice wasn’t lost on me. The view really was breathtaking.

This place was a whole new world. I’d never been anywhere like it. I felt plopped down on a TV set, all these landmarks I’d only ever seen in movies. Enormous long-necked palm trees that lined the streets with mountains looming behind them. The smell of brine and french fries and the musty scent of the rotting wood of the boardwalk. The ocean stretching as far as the eye can see.

It made me feel stimulated. Like my sleepy brain, so used to seeing what it already knew, was kicked into high gear to process it all. These memories would be sharp and embedded.

And she would be too.

She already was.

I glanced down at my date, clinging to me for dear life.