Say You'll Remember Me(7)

“Xavier?”

“Hi. Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Am I intimidating?”

There was a beat of silence.

“Hello?” I said.

“I’m trying to figure out how to say this nicely.”

I rubbed my temples.

“You are very tall, and you don’t smile very much,” she said. “You can come off a little grumpy. I think you are a little grumpy, actually.”

I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Why? Do you have a date or something?” she asked.

I felt like a dark cloud. “I do.”

“Do you want my honest opinion?” she asked. “Like honest, honest?”

When I didn’t answer she went on.

“Be yourself. If you’ve gotten this far, she’s probably got an idea of how you are already. And you’re not scary once someone gets to know you.”

“Great. Thanks.”

“I’m serious. You’re not. You’re not charismatic. Or charming or extroverted or fun or—”

“Okay, I get it.”

“No, let me finish. You’re other things. You’re dependable and loyal. You’re stable and hardworking and kind. You always do the right thing, and you have a ton of integrity. That’s the stuff that matters.”

I softened a little.

“You’ve never cared before what anyone thought,” she said. “This must be a big date.”

I didn’t respond.

“Hold on, I have to pay for my coffee.”

“That’s all I need. Thank you for the feedback,” I said.

“You got it.”

“Don’t tell Mike or Chris I called you,” I said. “Or Jesse.”

“Okay, I won’t, I promise. Just lean into the smoldering romance hero thing you have going on. Embrace your inner Rhysand.”

Sure. I had no idea what that meant. I was thinking I should probably google it since it was the second time I’d heard the name in ten minutes.

“Good luck,” she sang.

I hung up and stared at the photo on the wall. I wasn’t going to force it. I was going to be myself.

Hopefully that’s what she liked.





4





SAMANTHA


I’M GOING ON a date with the guy.”

Jeneva gasped. “The vet? How did that happen?”

“He asked me at Pooter’s vet visit.”

I did a final swipe of mascara and stood back to look at myself in the bathroom mirror. Not bad considering the late notice. I was in a sundress and sandals. I had sunglasses in my purse and a hat I wore to the beach. I didn’t know how “outside” we were going to be.

“Are you done packing?” she asked. “Do you have time for this?”

“Totally packed. I had nothing to do tonight. And honestly, I could use the distraction.”

“Where’s he taking you?”

I rummaged for my favorite lipstick. “I don’t know. He asked me if I like boats. I didn’t want to ask too many questions. I kind of like the thrill of the unknown.”

“Yeah, well the thrill of the unknown is what gets you murdered. Text me when you get to where you’re going. Is he picking you up?” she asked.

“Yeah. Figured why not save the money on an Uber.”

“Oh God. It’s like you’ve never seen Dateline.”

I smacked my lips. “You know, I tend to have pretty good instincts about people. I think you should give me some credit.”

Pooter rubbed her face on my leg, and I picked her up and set her on the sink.

“Well, provided you don’t become a missing person, I’m excited to see you tomorrow,” Jeneva said.

“What about Mom?”

There was a pause. “I think once she sees you it’ll be fine.”

Another pause. “Yeah.”

Though we both knew it probably wouldn’t be fine. It hadn’t been for a while.

Our mom had dementia. She was only fifty-four.

It started a few years ago with problems focusing after a small head injury. She thought it was just the concussion taking longer to heal or menopausal brain fog. But then it turned into other things. Repeating questions, getting lost—crashing the car into a palm tree outside of a Whole Foods in Pasadena because she’d gotten the pedals mixed up.

Now she didn’t know my name.

That was the catalyst for me going to California this week.

I hoped when I got there it would be better. It had been almost eight months since I’d been home, so she hadn’t seen my face. Maybe that was it? She just needed the context—she had to be in the same room as me, then it would all come back.

At least that’s what Jeneva and I were hoping.

“How is it, living at Grandma’s?”

“Weird,” she said. “But Braden and Holden love the house.”

“The house is nice,” I said, petting my kitten. “Have you found any of the jewelry?”

“Not a single thing. I searched for weeks. I offered the boys five bucks if they find any of it.”

“Are they actually looking?” I asked.