Shadows of You (Lost & Found #4)(38)

Lawson was silent for a long time as if choosing his words extremely carefully. “This has to bring up things for you.”

I stiffened. “It’s not about that.”

“It might not be, but that doesn’t mean it won’t stir up some demons. A chunk of this town believed you did something horrible.”

“I’m aware,” I gritted out.

Memories battered at the walls I’d constructed in my mind. A fist connecting with my jaw. A boot slamming into my ribs. Fighting to stay conscious.

“Roan, I know it messed with you.”

My throat burned. But he didn’t know. None of my family did. Lie after lie. They’d simply built on each other.

Instead of coming to and telling someone what had happened, I’d half-crawled to the doctor and said I’d taken a fall while mountain biking. The doctor had been skeptical, but since I was over eighteen, there wasn’t a damned thing he could do. My medical records were confidential.

My parents were such a wreck about the shootings and Wren, they hadn’t even questioned my story. My siblings were much the same. There was a brief moment when I thought Lawson might’ve known there were things I wasn’t saying, but he never pushed.

I stared my brother dead in the eyes. “Trust me. I know it twisted me.”

More than he would ever understand. I never saw their faces. Had to walk around town wondering who it had been. Still wondered. Every single person I came across was a suspect. It wasn’t just the physical injuries. It was the psychological stuff.

I swallowed down the burn coursing up my throat. I wouldn’t let what happened to me happen to Aspen.





18





ASPEN





Maddie and Cady belted out the lyrics to Shake It Off as we pulled into the elementary school parking lot. Neither of them was particularly on key, which just made me smile wider.

Maddie came to a stop and turned down the stereo. “You ready for an awesome day?”

“The awesomest,” Cady said with a grin.

“That’s my bestie. We shake off the haters.” She held out a hand for a high-five.

Cady slapped her palm against Maddie’s. “Think Taylor Swift likes glitter?”

“Duh,” Maddie said.

I chuckled, hopping out of the SUV and letting Cady out.

Katelyn walked by with Heather in tow. “Still without a car?”

I forced a grin. “I really appreciate just how much you look out for me, Katelyn.”

Katelyn’s haughty smile faltered. It was almost as if my back-handed compliment had short-circuited her brain. She huffed out a breath and stormed toward the school.

“She’s grumpy all the time, not just when she needs a snack,” Cady piped in.

I laughed and pulled her into a hug. “Some people are just unhappy, Katydid.”

She tipped her head back so she could look up at me. “It’s a lot more fun being happy.”

“I agree.” I kissed the top of her head. “Where’s Charlie?” Usually, we got here at the same time.

Cady frowned. “He had to come early today because his dad had to work.”

I mirrored Cady’s frown. Lawson could’ve dropped Charlie off with me instead of sending him to the school’s early care program. “Well, you’d better go find him. He’s probably been missing his best pal.”

That was all Cady needed. She took off running, her pink glitter backpack slapping against her back.

Once she disappeared, I hurried to Maddie’s SUV and slid inside.

“What did the queen bitch have to say?”

I grimaced. “Some snarky comment about me still not having a car.”

“That woman needs a life,” Maddie mumbled as she headed out of the lot.

“You aren’t wrong. How are things with Nash?”

A soft smile spread across her lips as she glanced down at her ring glimmering in the morning light. “Really good.”

“Love seeing you happy like this,” I said softly.

“Do not make me cry. I’ll boob punch you.”

I snorted. “I’ve been officially warned.”

She pulled into the lot at the body shop and parked, looking over at me. “I want you to have this kind of joy.”

“I’m happy. I’ve got Cady and the animals and amazing friends.”

Maddie studied me for a moment. “Don’t you want more? A partner? Ridiculously hot sex?”

I choked on a laugh. “I don’t know, Maddie. I’m not sure I’m built for it. It’s not the easiest for me to let people in.”

But memories from last night and this morning flashed in my mind. Stolen seconds with Roan. His tenderness with Cady.

Maddie was quiet for a moment. “You ever going to tell me why that is?”

My stomach twisted like a tightly wound ball of yarn. “It’s not important.”

Maddie reached over and squeezed my hand. “If it has marked you like this, it’s important. And I’ll be here to listen whenever you’re ready to share.”

I swallowed the saliva pooling in my mouth. “Thank you.”

I didn’t deserve her friendship, but I was grateful for it all the same.

“Got your back. Always.”