Shadows of You (Lost & Found #4)(58)

“She doesn’t know.”

“Because she was younger when it happened?”

I shook my head, keeping my gaze on the animals in the pasture. “None of my family knows.”

Aspen sucked in a sharp breath. “Why?”

“They had enough going on. Holt and Grae were a wreck with Wren in the hospital. Nash felt guilty as hell because he’d made Holt late on his way to meet Wren. Lawson was new on the force. My parents were just trying to keep us all afloat.”

“But how could you cover up something like that?” she whispered.

I shrugged. “Told the doctor and them I’d fallen off my mountain bike. Doctor didn’t believe me, but I was over eighteen. He couldn’t do a damned thing.”

“You were alone in it.”

I turned at that, searching Aspen’s gorgeous face. “The same way you were.”

She threaded her fingers through mine. “You never reported it?”

“I couldn’t see who it was. They got me from behind on my way home. I had a house in town back then. One of them hit me so hard on the head I blacked out. Think that’s what saved me. Not any fun to beat on someone who’s unconscious.”

Aspen paled. “Roan…”

“I was fine. Concussion. A few broken ribs, broken arm. Eye swollen shut. Black and blue.”

Her fingers tightened their hold. “But you had to live not knowing who hurt you. The cops got the guys who hurt me when that reporter leaked where I worked. They got some serious jail time. You haven’t had any closure. That has to be terrifying.”

My jaw worked back and forth. “I’m careful. I watch my back. I’m good.”

“You aren’t good. You’ve completely isolated yourself from the rest of the world.”

“It’s better that way. Easier.”

“For who?” Aspen challenged. “You must get lonely. And the rest of the world misses out on the gift you are.”

I scoffed. “Doubt the rest of the world sees it that way.”

The pads of her fingertips pressed into the back of my hand. “Don’t. You’re an amazing man. I see it every day. You have a gentleness in you unlike anything I’ve seen before. You just hide it under layers of scowls and glares.”

“Tender Heart…”

“I see you, Roan. The way you are with Cady. With the animals. With me. And I have a feeling the incredible things I’ve witnessed are just the tip of the iceberg.”

I turned, taking her in fully for the first time since she’d walked outside. Her beauty was staggering, but it was so much more than skin-deep. She could soothe a ravaged soul with her presence alone.

Aspen moved then, closing the distance and pressing her mouth to mine. The shock of the contact had my lips parting and my tongue moving of its own volition. No matter how dangerous I knew it was, the need for her was too great. Her taste exploded in my mouth, heaven and hell all wrapped into one. But I knew I’d happily go down in the flames.





28





ASPEN





Roan was everywhere—his hands tangled in my hair, his heat surrounding me. His taste took me under.

He pulled back, eyes wild. “Aspen,” he croaked.

“Don’t,” I whispered. “Please, don’t take it back.” I didn’t think I could handle it if he stole this kiss from me.

“Never.” The single word was a guttural oath. His hands framed my face. “I’m not any good at this kind of thing. People. Emotions.”

I looked up into those blue depths. “Seems like you’re doing a pretty good job to me.”

I wanted him to laugh, forget he’d pulled away, and lose himself in me again. Instead, he searched. Those eyes of his probed and tested. “I don’t want to hurt you. I wouldn’t mean to, but I could.”

My hands fisted in his shirt. “Yes, you’ll hurt me. Just like I’ll hurt you. But if we care about each other, we’ll mend it. We’ll learn to do better the next time.”

A muscle in his cheek fluttered like crazy. As if a silent war raged within him that I would never get to see.

I pressed a hand against his chest, over his heart. “No one has ever made me feel as safe as you.”

Roan’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. His hand trailed down, his thumb tracing the column of my neck. “Sometimes, I think you hypnotized me. Can’t stop thinking about you. Even when I should be thinking about anything else.”

Heat flared, hope rising along with it.

“I used to watch you.”

My brows pulled together at that.

Roan flicked his chin toward the mountainside covered in trees. “My cabin’s up that way. Looks out over this farm. Even before I met you, I’d sit on my balcony and watch the red-haired woman with her daughter. Always so happy. So patient. So full of life. I thought you couldn’t be real.”

His thumb trailed lower, then he pressed a hand over my heart. “But here you are, this living, breathing thing. A walking temptation.”

“Give in,” I whispered.

Roan’s eyes sparked. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“Then show me.”

He moved so fast I didn’t see it coming. One second, I was on the porch swing. The next, I was in Roan’s arms. My legs went around his waist on instinct as he strode into the house.