Sisters in the Wind(85)

There wasn’t time to thoroughly examine her file.

I was officially outside my normal window of time. The Hoppys knew I took a bath on Friday afternoons but finished by three p.m. I had broken a pattern. Mister or Missus could return anytime. All I could do was snap pictures on my cell phone of the pages in the folder. I would review everything later. Any information might be helpful to track her down.

The baby kicked as if not approving of my actions.

Frantically, I took more photos until I thought I heard a noise outside the door. Again, I held my breath. The baby moved, shifting my belly and taking my breath from me.

Having not heard another noise, I finished snapping the last page.

There it was, another noise. Definitely footsteps coming upstairs. Heavy footsteps. Mister? I scrambled to return the file and lock the cabinet.

Another kick felt like it got a nerve in my leg, which seemed odd.

I put the key back in its hiding spot just as the door opened.

“Oh,” we said in unison. Mister was startled to see me. I hunched over.

“Are you okay, Lucy? Is it time?” He sounded genuinely concerned. Afraid, even.

“I don’t know,” I said. “The baby kicked hard enough to make me see stars.”

“We should get Missus,” he said, reaching for my arm.

“Whoa,” I said. This time I faked a kick to avoid his steadying hand. “I can walk, but maybe you should go ahead of me?”

“Good idea,” he said. “Do you think this is it? Is the baby coming?”

“I don’t know,” I repeated. “I never did this before.”

“Good point. Let’s get Missus.”

By the time we reached the kitchen, I felt queasy.

“We might have a situation,” he called out to Missus.

“I’m not ready,” I said while wiping my suddenly sweaty forehead with my sleeve.

“You’re close enough, Lucy. Labor can begin anytime. We should go to the emergency room,” she said.

“Let me go to my room to get my things.” I wanted to lock my phone in my footlocker for safekeeping.

“Your coat and boots are right here,” she said, holding one of my elbows.

Missus called out for Lexi, instructing her to tell Jennifer she and Mister were taking me to Alpena. Missus’s voice shook, which made me nervous. She’d been through this situation many times. I expected her to be calmer.

I was a good actor, I told myself. Both Hoppys were worked up. My due date wasn’t for another two and a half weeks. By the time we would arrive at the hospital, the doctor could tell us it was a false alarm.

The only problem was that my stomach kept clenching every so often. It felt like my old stomach issues coming back. The drive to Alpena took almost thirty minutes. Mister pulled up to the ER entrance. Missus helped me out of the car.

With my first step from the car, I felt something shift in my lower belly before there was pressure heavy enough that I must have peed my pants.

“Oh,” I kept repeating. “Oh, I think something’s happening.”

Missus teared up and smiled.

“The baby’s coming, Lucy.”

“I thought it was fake—I mean false labor,” I said.

“Baby said otherwise,” she said.

Things progressed quicker than I’d expected. The contractions were real and coming so close together that I forgot about the breathing exercises. The pain was worse than anything ever.

“I want my dad,” I said.

When no one said anything, I repeated myself more loudly.

Missus stayed at my side, but I pushed her away.

“Not her. I want my dad.”

I asked for my dad until the pain made it impossible to say anything.

Tonya had said that pushing out a baby was like shitting a football. I remembered thinking, how could that be anatomically possible? Tonya had lied. It was more like pooping a gigantic watermelon.

One of the pushes went on for so long that I thought I passed out. Then something felt different. Like passing all my intestines in one huge gushing lump.

A baby cried. It was a high-pitched trill unlike anything I’d heard before. I felt it go right through me.

“He’s here, Lucy. A boy.”

The nurse asked if I wanted the baby on my chest. I was supposed to have time to make a birthing plan. Whether I’d give up the baby and not see him. Whether I’d want time with the baby before giving him up. I thought I’d walk around the hammock grove and make the decisions. But it didn’t happen the way I thought it would.

“I want him on my chest,” I said.

“Are you sure?” Missus asked.

I pushed her away and reached for the baby.

He had brown curly hair and huge dark eyes that might have been indigo or onyx. He looked at me. His eyes were definitely dark brown.

“Look at you,” I said. “In such a hurry.” He was on my chest for a short time before the nurse took him for measurements. She brought him back right away.

Before I knew it, the baby had snorfed his way to one of my breasts. It hurt more than I expected. My breasts were rock hard and there was a burning sensation in my nipples.

I fed him. Everything was a new experience. This was the baby who had kicked me and swum around. The baby I’d kept safe for over eight months. The baby I would do anything to keep safe now that he was part of this unsafe world.