Stars in Your Eyes(30)

“We’re not friends,” I tell him.

He sucks in a quick breath, smile falling instantly.

“I don’t want you to think that we are. We’re working together on a film. We’re in this fake relationship. But that’s it.”

He still doesn’t answer. He blinks. Gives that well, fuck expression.

“Anyway. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, you know? This—these feelings we’re pretending to have for each other. Don’t forget it’s all fake. It’s just a role.”

“Okay.”

“I think you’re starting to forget. Or mix things up, you know?”

He nods slowly. I think he’s embarrassed. Not my problem.

I shouldn’t have come over. That just confuses shit even more. I stand up and put the glass down on the counter. “Thanks for the water.”

“Yeah. No problem.”

Neither of us says anything else when I leave, slamming the door.





Video begins:

YouTube personality star Shaina Lively sits in front of bright yellow lights in her usual office space. Her eyes are wide and panicked.

“Y’all! I don’t know what to do with the news that—oh, my God, I think I’m going to be sick! Matthew Cole and Logan Gray are in a relationship?! Please, God. Please, say it ain’t so.”

She seems near tears as she looks off camera, face scrunching up and eyes shining.

“Mattie is an angel. He’s the sweetest soul to ever walk this earth, and he’s Logan Gray’s boyfriend?! Gray is the literal worst. He cheats on everyone, probably because he’s bi! No offense to my bisexual viewers.”

Shaina reaches out of frame and grabs a glass of water and drinks all of it in a few gulps. She lets out a sharp breath.

“And now it’s like watching a car wreck in slow motion. Obviously Gray is going to break Mattie’s heart, and Mattie—poor Mattie doesn’t deserve any of this!”

She lets out a gasp and a sniffle, wiping her eyes.

“I’m sorry. It’s just so sad. I can’t do this…Excuse me.”

Video ends.





Happily Ever After: A Memoir


by Matthew Cole

My first boyfriend wasn’t really a boyfriend, only because we never used that label with each other. We were both sixteen, and he was a friend of a friend, the sort who would sit with your group at the cafeteria table and whose name you knew, even if you barely spoke to each other. My school was small enough that it was impossible to not run into classmates several times a day in the halls and by our lockers. I’d caught him looking at me a few times as I switched textbooks in between periods, and I’d caught myself looking at him a few times, too.

I wasn’t out yet, and neither was he, but there was an energy that drew us together, long, silent conversations with our feelings and thoughts alone. We sat beside each other during lunch without speaking out loud and read beside each other in the library without saying hello and walked home together for several blocks while only mentioning homework or the pop quiz we’d had that day and mainly staying quiet as we sweated together in that Georgian heat.

There were openly gay people at our school, but they dealt with enough bullying that it made me even more certain I didn’t want to tell anyone, not yet. But this boy—he made me wonder if it might be worth it all, the world finding out about these feelings I’d had for so long. Our first kiss wasn’t very romantic. It’d happened because of another silent conversation. He only spoke to ask if I wanted to hang out. I ended up at his house after school to drink in the woods behind his backyard. It was my first time drinking beer, too, and close to being my last, before I decided I just didn’t like the taste or feeling of alcohol.

But the alcohol was needed that day for the liquid courage—for both of us, I think. We didn’t say anything as we drank one beer and then another. He leaned in to kiss me first, and I wasn’t surprised, even though I pretended I was. We kissed and kissed and kissed for what felt like hours in the woods, though it was probably only a few minutes. I went back many more times after that. We still didn’t speak at school, but I would go to his house, and eventually, he would come to mine on the days my parents had late hours at work and when my sister had to stay after school for one of her many clubs.

Our relationship ended when one day, he came over and we sat together in my bedroom. We’d already kissed that afternoon before my dad came back home from work. Maybe we should’ve been more careful. I should’ve realized that if we could speak with energy, then others could pick up on our energy, too. My dad walked by in the hall. He stopped, turned around, and looked into my open door, where I sat with my boyfriend on the floor, doing homework. My dad didn’t say anything. He only eyed us before he walked away again. After my boyfriend left, my dad said at the dinner table that he didn’t want “that kid” to come back over here again.

It was enough. Somehow, my boyfriend picked up on this energy, too, and he never invited me back to his house, and I never invited him back to mine.





(Revised) Project X Schedule


September 1: August 21: Announcement that you are, in fact, official ?

September 3: GLAAD red carpet event, first public outing as official couple. I had to kiss major ass for these invites and move around the production schedule to get you two the day off so, don’t fuck this up; prep with stylists starts 8am sharp