Stealing Hearts (Wild at Heart #1)(45)

From deep within my soul, I know this is one of those huge crossroads in my life. If I get up and sleep on the couch, this dream ends. I’ll keep my distance and know better than to get under the covers with him to watch movies.

But if I stay…

If I stay, maybe we don’t have to split up in a few months. Maybe I can convince him that he wants more. Maybe I can convince him that we have something special. Maybe I can convince him to love me.

Like I’ve always loved him.

I see that now, how I never stopped loving him. In high school and college, I masked the pain of his rejection with indifference, but the feelings were always there beneath that facade.

How can I not love Rhett? He works himself to the bone for his boys and his brothers and this incredible ranch. He starts before dawn and doesn’t stop until his kids are tucked away in bed. His dedication to those he loves is awe-inspiring.

I swallow, terrified of his rejection. Sure, I can coax him into having sex with me—we already came close to it at the cabin—but that doesn’t mean he’ll ever love me.

Through the moonlight streaming through the window, I stare at the bare couch.

That’s a lonely spot. That’s a one-way ticket to Boston where I don’t know anyone. That requires leaving the only people who care about me to coach strangers’ children instead of loving up on the kids who are already in my life.

That’s probably a series of relationships where I don’t let myself feel anything.

It would be so easy to go back to that place. To block myself off and amble through life with a painted smile on my face, which is probably a bad look for a cheerleader.

Closing my eyes, I decide to take a chance.

Before I can stop myself, I reach back and rake my fingers through his thick hair. He groans again, and I arch my back.

My panties are wet by the time he starts thrusting against me.

But then his breathing changes, and he stops.

His mouth moves to my ear. “Paige, baby, we shouldn’t do this.”

He could fuck me ten ways to Sunday right now, but I know he’d never take advantage of me.

This is the moment. Do I scurry off to the couch? Or do I take a leap of faith? As much as I want to avoid this confrontation, I know I can’t live like that anymore. It’ll eat me alive if I don’t say something.

Please don’t reject me, Rhett.

Slowly, I turn in his arms so we’re nose to nose. “What if I don’t want to stop?”

When he doesn’t say anything, I close my eyes and rush to tell him what’s in my heart. “I’m tired of being with you but still having to keep my distance. Of being your partner halfway. Of wanting you but never having you.” I suck in a breath and finally have the guts to look at him. “Unless… unless you don’t want me.”

His hand grasps my face, and his gaze studies mine. “You know I want you. I’ve wanted you from the moment I dragged your cute little ass out of your car. But darling, I don’t wanna steal your dream of coaching. There’s nothing here for you in Wild Heart except dust, dirt, and filthy cowboys.”

But what if I want a filthy cowboy? I bite back the words because he’s obviously trying to let me down easy. He doesn’t want to do this. “I see.” I start to pull away. I need to get to the couch before I start crying.

But then he pulls me back and leans up over me. “I’m not done.” My eyes widen at the gruffness in his voice. He drags a rough finger over my bottom lip. “If we do this, you have to promise me one thing.”

Is he really considering it?

“What’s that?” I’ll promise him anything. I hate that I’m so eager. That he holds all the cards right now. But then, he always has.

“You don’t make any decisions about staying here until you’re healed up. I want you to keep your options open. You’re young, just outta college, and you’ve had a tough few weeks. I’d hate for you to make a rash decision and regret it later.”

Why is he talking to me like I’m twelve instead of twenty-two? I push him back. “Rhett, I’ve lived a whole life away from you. I’ve had boyfriends and shitty jobs and crappy landlords and won fucking national championships. I’ve traveled across the country with friends and seen so many things I wanted to share with you but couldn’t. I’ve also lost my parents and my brother along the way. I don’t have anyone left.” The part of me that used to be numb feels everything right now, and my eyes sting. “So don’t tell me what I’ll regret. If you don’t want me, if you don’t want to do this, just say that instead of—”

He slams his mouth against mine. “Of course I fucking want you.” In between kisses, he mumbles, “What sane man wouldn’t?” But then he stops. His chest heaves as he pulls away. “I won’t be the one to steal your dream, wildflower. We can be together for now, but hold off making any big decisions until you’re rehabbed. That’s my offer.”

This infuriating man. “Fine, but—”

His mouth is on me again, and any further discussion is lost to the heat ricocheting between us.

A million emotions race through me. Elation that he’s finally giving in. Lust because I want him so badly. Frustration that he’s put another condition on our relationship.

And fear that we might burn bright before we burn out.