Sublimation(78)

Either way, whatever happened, whatever you were supposed to do, you knew this information would make Mitosis an obscene quantity of money if it was publicized and deployed. This would be like being the only company to sell telephones, or the only company to sell the concept of fire.

“How much do you know about the instancing industry?” you ask Soyoung.

“Only what we learned in school.”

“This is like looking at the schematics for the atom bomb, but for instancing tech.”

“Open the file labeled ‘test-dash-schedule-dash-final,’” she says. “I think it’s pretty close to the bottom.”

You do. It’s an Excel spreadsheet that mirrors the one you had looked through to find Soyoung’s research study. This one has an extra column, rows you don’t remember, unredacted names and numbers.

Soyoung leans over your shoulder.

“Look at the bottom rows.”

She points at two rows that are right next to each other. The study that Soyoung’s in, and then right underneath: another study scheduled for the same dates that would test the effects of the reintegration and separation functions at the same time. Recombination at different frequencies, after different amounts of time—microseconds, seconds, full minutes.

“What are the chances that I got accidentally shunted into the wrong study?”

The two studies started on the same date. They had similar barcodes. It was entirely possible this could have happened.





SOYOUNG-ROSE


“Why do you think you’re in the wrong study?”

How to explain? Soyoung only has a suspicion. It struck her when looking at the trial datasheet, the dates, the fact that Gerry hadn’t told her what trial she was in, because of course you wouldn’t tell the test subject what you were being tested for. Instancing studies could be altered based on participant knowledge, since instancing was such a deeply psychological phenomenon. But it hadn’t felt like the first time she instanced, going through the gate. She had assumed that was the case because it was an artificial border being created. But now she wondered.

“The dates match up. And the test doesn’t feel only like separation.”

YJ looks at her. He doesn’t understand, she can tell. She wonders what he’s thinking.

“If you think that’s what’s happening, then you should drop out,” YJ says, closing the laptop.

“I’m not doing that,” Soyoung says.

“Seriously, Soyoung.”

“I can’t wait for the official rollout, YJ. Both of the trials end with full separation, so.”

He’s quiet.

“Right?” she says again.

“Sure,” YJ says, reluctantly, like he knows the shape of her next sentence. He looks away from her as he slides the laptop back into the backpack.

It’s hope, more than truth. It’s the fact that she’s halfway through the trials and though each encounter has left her feeling unraveled, there have been no permanent effects. It’s that she is so close, and she’s never going to have another opportunity. Another few weeks and she’ll walk out two people. If she pulls out now, there’s no future for Soyoung and Rose. She has one goal. The rest is all chaff in the wind.

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’m not getting hurt,” Soyoung lies. “It doesn’t hurt.”

YJ’s eyes flick from the screen, to her, back to the screen.

“Alright. Fine,” YJ says. He stands. “Let’s go. Thank you for giving this to me. I’m sorry for getting you involved in this.”

“You’re welcome,” Soyoung says. “Do you still want me to snoop around for you?”

He’s quiet for a moment.

“I don’t know. I don’t—I wish Megan had just talked to me,” YJ says. “Had told me all of this. Or that Drew hadn’t decided he wanted a media puppet.”

YJ had told her about how he felt that Drew had hired him partially because he was pliable, because he needed citizenship. He had told her about meeting Megan, and how she had talked in circles. Soyoung frowns.

“Does Megan know about your breakup?”

“No, why?”

“Does she know what Petra looks like?”

“No—Soyoung,” he starts.

“So I’ll pretend to be your partner and talk to Megan, off the record.”

“Please don’t talk to her,” YJ says.

“I’ll just tell her that you know, and see if there’s anything else she wants to tell you.”

“I can handle myself. I don’t need you to fix my problems for me.”

“Okay,” Soyoung lies. “Let’s go home.”



* * *



Soyoung isn’t investigating YJ’s problems solely out of altruism. There’s a shred of altruism there, along with a shred of guilt in that she feels a little that she’s contributed to his problems. But a larger part of it is: If there is a door, and you have the ability to go to the other side, then would you not go through that door? There is a part of her that is Rose, jumping at the chance to return to Korea. There is a part of her that is Soyoung, desperate to pull Rose into herself. When given a target, she can’t not pursue it. This is an intrinsic part of her character.