The Anti-Hero (The Goode Brothers, #1)(70)

Caleb is wearing an expression that’s somewhere between smug and amused. His hands are in his pockets and he’s staring down his nose at me as I peel myself off the bench and move to stand. My broken hand is wrapped in medical gauze, and I remember the medic giving me strict instructions to have it looked at once I was released. But I probably won’t. I hope it leaves my hand fucked up and scarred forever. The pain feels good, like it’s the first thing I’ve ever felt in my entire life.

After I sign the papers clumsily with my left hand, I walk out of the station in silence with my brother at my side. He doesn’t say a word as we climb into his Volvo SUV, and I don’t bother complaining about my head or my hand. I just give him the address of the Laundromat and ask him to take me there instead of my apartment. With a quizzical expression, he does.

Maybe she’ll fix me up like she did before. And it makes me wonder if she’ll be mad or proud.

“I think I like this new version of you,” Caleb finally says as we pull up to a stoplight. “And I feel weird saying that, but causing a little trouble might actually be good for you.”

“Why am I the one causing trouble?” I ask, turning toward him.

“That’s a good question,” he replies with a laugh.

“No, Caleb. I mean…why have we been following that asshole our entire lives? Letting him treat us all like shit. Why am I the only one causing trouble?”

“So this is about Dad.”

“Isn’t it always?” I reply with a grimace.

“What did he do this time?”

“I found out he owns a sex club,” I mutter, staring out the window. The car nearly comes to a complete stop as Caleb stares at me in shock.

“What the fuck?”

“I found him there. Face buried between some woman’s legs.” As I turn to look at my brother, I’m actually sort of pleased to see the horror on his face. At least someone else can feel it too.

“He’ll ruin us all,” he says. “He’s really willing to risk everything he’s built for what? Sex?”

I don’t reply. Suddenly I’m feeling sick, like I have a hangover from the events of last night. And from this whole conversation.

“Is that what this is all about?” he asks as he pulls up to Sage’s apartment.

“Sort of,” I reply because I just don’t know anymore. It started out about him. Then it became about me. And now…

it’s about her. And I don’t care that my car is still parked at the club or that my broken hand is throbbing. I just want to see her.

“Jesus, Adam. This is insane. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I don’t know,” I reply, turning toward him. “Because he’s in my head, I guess. I don’t know if he’ll ever get out.”

“What about her?” he asks, and I know he’s talking about Sage. “Is that real, or is that just…”

“It’s real.” With that, I pull open the passenger door and stumble out. Every step makes my head pound. Before closing the door, I look back at Caleb, seeing the way this news is hitting him. The same way it hit me. And I almost feel bad for him. He never put as much faith in our father as I did, but it’s

still hard to accept that the world doesn’t work the way you think it does.

“Thanks for picking me up,” I say with a grimace, and after he nods in return, I shut the door and cross the street toward her apartment. The entire way up the stairs, I’m silently praying she’s not mad at me. Of course if she is, I can’t blame her. I took off in the middle of the night.

I’d be no better than Brett if I kept her after what I’ve done. After the way I treated her. In fact, no man would ever truly deserve her, so what the fuck gives me the right to even try?

As soon as I rap my left hand against the door, it opens, and I’m so fucking relieved I can hardly move. She lets out an audible gasp when she sees me.

“Oh my god, Adam,” she shrieks with fear and relief. Then her arms are around my neck, my face pressed to the crook of hers, and I breathe her in like this is somehow the most pivotal moment of my life. The epicenter of my entire existence in this very moment as I come back to her a changed man. I’ve shed the lies and deceptions. It took more than the last few hours, but giving in to that darkness, feeling the cuffs around my wrists and the flash of the mug shot camera, I changed.

I fed the beast last night, and now it feels as if that beast is me.

“I was so worried about you,” she whispers into my neck.

“Why did you do that?”

I pull away from her embrace and stare down at her as she pulls me into the apartment, closing the door behind us. “I have to tell you what I did,” I mumble, but she’s already shaking her head.

“I know exactly what you did, Adam. You don’t think I couldn’t figure it out? That I would just sit here and wait for you to come back?”

My brow arches in confusion as I stare down at her. “How did you…”

“Does it really matter? How about you tell me why you would do that?”

Taking a step toward her, I reach for her with my good hand and she comes to me, letting me put my fingers on her arm and on her lower back. “Because…I wanted to.” It’s the only response that makes sense. Simple and to the point.