The Anti-Hero (The Goode Brothers, #1)(76)

“I’d…fill the rec room with Mary’s enchiladas and I’d feed as many people in Austin as we could.”

I can barely see her smile in the darkness. So I go on.

“I’d look every member of the congregation in the eye. I’d learn their names and I’d make sure each and every one knows they are all worthy and loved by God.”

My throat stings and my eyes grow moist as I struggle to speak the next one. With a quiver in my lip, I mutter with conviction, “I’d hang a rainbow flag above the door so Isaac knows everyone is welcome.”

Sage’s smile grows brighter, the light outside catching a glint of moisture in her eyes.

“I’d make this place feel like home.”

Slowly, she stands and walks toward me, squeezing herself between me and the pulpit. “I like the sound of that,” she whispers as she lifts onto her toes to kiss me.

Before taking her lips with mine, I look her in the eye.

“Would you be there?”

Her expression changes as she lowers to her feet without a kiss. Averting her eyes, she presses her hands to my chest.

“I don’t know, Adam.”

And I understand. This chasm between us isn’t something we can cross easily. How could you build a life with a person so fundamentally different? What could our future possibly hold when our pasts are so vastly contradictory?

But for now, I love the feel of her in my arms and the comfort of her in my life. For now, I’ll savor that much.

Putting my fingers under her chin, I lift her eyes until she’s staring at me. “It’s okay,” I whisper, so she knows. We may not be forever, but we can be for now.

Grabbing the backs of her thighs, I swiftly lift her onto the surface and position myself between her legs. She wraps her arms around my neck and goes in for the kiss again. This time, I take it, reveling in the warm sweetness of her lips and how much I love playing with that ring with my tongue.

Before we get too hot with this kiss, I pull away. “So what about you?” I ask, leaning away to look into her eyes.

“What would I do if this church was mine?” she replies with lifted brows. “Probably turn it into a sex club.”

This time when I laugh, I lean my forehead against her shoulder and squeeze her ass, pulling her closer. The sound of her giggles against my ear is sweet and calming.

When I pull away, I clarify my question. “No, what would you do if Pink was yours? What would you do with it?”

“Oh.” Her eyes light up with excitement. “First thing I would do is reinstate the two-drink limit and stick with it.”

“Good.”

“Then I would fire every one of those lousy bouncers and hire a whole new security staff.”

“Excellent.”

She takes a deep breath, gazing off into the distance as she thinks. “And then…I would find people who could teach real courses on sexuality for men and women. Couples could come in to find a new spark together. Assault survivors could have a place to feel safe and empowered. Members could learn how to practice BDSM safely. And I’d abolish the VIP section entirely.”

With excitement, she tightens her arms around my neck.

“It would be more than just a sex club. It would be like…a sex church!”

I laugh again, tugging her even closer. “A sex church?”

“I want people to feel at home there too,” she says, relating my dream to hers. And maybe they’re not really so different.

Except they obviously are.

“Would you be there?” Her voice is soft and gentle as she asks me, and that chasm between us grows.

Because even she knows it’s impossible. Even with this rampage against my father and this mission of ruining my reputation, at some point, I’ll stop. I think that was always the understanding beneath this whole plan. I might rebel now, but eventually, I’ll come back.

“Preacher by day, Dom by night,” she says, tugging my neck toward her. Then as her lips touch mine, I slip my tongue between them, feeling for that comfort only her kisses seem to offer me anymore.

Even if I do feel torn in two. Broken and shattered until I don’t recognize myself. And my only anchor is her.

With our foreheads still pressed together, she whispers,

“Those two things can coexist, Adam. We can be both.”

Then her hands slide from around my neck and slowly down my chest and stomach. Then over the stiff erection in my pants. “This is not a sin,” she whispers, giving it a gentle squeeze.

It doesn’t matter that my mind is arguing with her. She’s wrong. It is a sin. But that’s what we are, sinners.

As she grinds her hand over my cock, I let out a low, growling hum, pressing back against her touch. She doesn’t stop there. Sliding her fingers under the elastic of my ridiculous green joggers, she finds my dick and strokes it like it’s something to worship.

It still feels like a sin, but one I’d gladly burn for.

“Feel me,” she whispers in the dusty darkness of this nearly abandoned church. And we shouldn’t. We really, really shouldn’t. But right now, this overwhelming hunger to be inside her feels more powerful than God himself.

Reaching under her thin cotton dress, I massage her through her panties, and sure enough, the moisture of her arousal seeps right through.