The Better Half(100)
“No, she’ll be a JUNIOR,” I emphasize, “at one of the local high schools. She decided to return home after the Royal-Hawkins application deadline. Rules are rules.” A hint of passive aggression can go a long way to remind a person of former mistakes.
It turned out Morgan’s birth colliding with Xandra’s spring break was good timing. Sitting side by side on the couch bingeing Netflix, me breastfeeding Morgan and Xandra trying, unsuccessfully, not to be grossed out, incited an unexpected waterfall of teenage confession. Surprise, surprise (but not to me) Mr. Petrov wasn’t a racist, but a teacher with a thing for punctuality and a deep respect for the arts. And, in fact, after Xandra’s many attempts to scrub the image of her mother being groped in the driveway coupled with time getting to know Leo over the holidays, my bougie ways were also not the problem. The real problem Xandra didn’t know how to articulate to me or to Graham, was that she didn’t want to be at Pemberley. Instead, she fell into the predictable teenage trap of being an asshole. She never wanted to attend Pemberley. And now that she had a sibling, she wanted to stay. At home. With me. And Morgan and Leo. It took every ounce of my self-control to not break out in a Rose Bowl touchdown dance.
Xandra confessed she only agreed to go to Pemberley because Graham was moving to New York, and she was worried he was going to be lonely and the idea of her going to Pemberley made him so happy. I didn’t mean to make Xandra’s declaration about me, but I had to know why she was more worried about Graham being alone in New York than she was about me being alone in Pasadena. Xandra had laughed out loud at my turn playing the asshole and pointed out that I had Marisol and her family, Fitzroy for much of the year, and an entire school to keep me company.
Xandra shared that Graham was now successfully navigating several dating websites, which made sense when I thought back to how upbeat and playful he had been at Xandra’s play. The loneliness Xandra claimed consumed Graham after our divorce had given way to excitement for a new start-up venture he was exploring. In Xandra’s assessment, Graham was solid so now she could return home—where she always wanted to be.
In rushed moments during Morgan’s catnaps, we strategized how to approach Graham with Xandra’s desire to leave Pemberley. Ultimately, I assured Xandra that her father would understand. Down deep I knew I might have to do some tough behind-the-scenes work to get Graham on board, but Xandra carrying the burden of her parents’ happiness had to stop immediately. Xandra needed to focus on Xandra.
“What are you doing on campus?” I ask Jared, thinking he must have somewhere better to be on a summer morning.
“Just stopped by to borrow a couple of copies of The Grapes of Wrath to give Dontrelle and Marcus. They’ve been getting into reading this summer, and it’s one of my favorite books, so I wanted to share.”
“I remember,” I say. Jared looks at me quizzically. “Halloween.”
“That’s right,” Jared replies, scratching the back of his head with a sheepish grin. “You remember everything.” Not on four hours of sleep, but I try.
“Yes, I do, Jared.” Better for Jared to believe I have a steel-trap mind than a sieve. Hopefully this misnomer will incentivize him to have a better second year teaching at Royal-Hawkins than his first.
“Since you hooked me up with the summer gig with the twins, is it okay if I borrow the books?” Jared asks, looking for permission after his plan had been hatched. “Promise I’ll have them back on my shelf before school starts.” I nod of course. Even late, remembering to ask my permission is definitely a show of maturity. I still believe Jared Jones is a worthy educator in progress. I look down at Morgan in his car seat. Men are a lot of work, I think to myself, but cross fingers worth the effort.
“Catch you ladies later.” Jared beams. Even his goodbyes light up a room. Tongue-tied Xandra can only wave.
“I look forward to seeing you at the end of August, Jared. It’s going to be a great school year,” I assure, putting a hand on Jared’s back and walking him out the door. And I believe it.
I have a summer breakfast board meeting in fifteen minutes and need to gather my thoughts before the first public viewing of postpregnancy Nina. Since she passed her driver’s test last week, I give Xandra the keys to the car, but not the baby. He’s staying with me. I remind Xandra that Leo and I are going house hunting this afternoon, and I expect her home by three to babysit. There’s a house right around the corner from Fitzroy and KayCee that I think will go fast, so I want to get in there before a bidding war starts. Consumed by the power of the car keys, I’m fairly certain Xandra heard none of my fourteen-point driving safety speech before skipping off to freedom. It’s okay, my first baby’s back.
Leo 8:46 AM
What are you wearing?
How sweet. Leo’s checking in to make sure I didn’t head back to work in sweats and a milk-stained shirt.
Nina 8:47 AM
Red flowy sundress and pink sweater in case the conference room air conditioning is on blast.
I’m so damn happy my feet fit back in my Gucci shoes; they pair perfectly with the summer sophisticate image I’m going for.
Leo 8:47 AM
Perfect outfit for house hunting.
Nina 8:48 AM
Why?
Leo 8:48 AM
Easy access.
Nina 8:49 AM
OH . . .
Leo 8:50 AM