The Book Club Hotel(96)

“Trudy was a mistake. But maybe I needed to be with Trudy to realize you were the one for me.”

Was she supposed to send Trudy a thank-you note?

“Claudia? You’ve gone quiet. I’m saying that I want us to be together again. Forever.”

Forever.

She was being offered her old life back. She could move back into their apartment, get another job and settle down to California living. With John. Her John.

She stared out the window. Except he wasn’t her John, was he? The past few days with her friends had made her realize that their relationship had been far from perfect. She’d mistaken the length of a relationship with quality, but now she could see all the ways in which it had fallen short.

She thought about him slamming the front door on the day that he’d left, ignoring her entreaties that he at least talk to her. Despite their years together, he hadn’t even shown her that basic courtesy. Respect, affection, consideration—where had they been on that day?

Where were they now? Surely he didn’t really think that all he had to do was make a call and she’d come running back?

“I’m sure you’re overwhelmed,” John said. “Take a moment. I love you, Claudia. We’re good together.”

“You love me?” She tried to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. “When did you decide that?”

“I’ve always loved you.”

Anger mingled with incredulity. “You cheated on me. You betrayed everything about our relationship.” And she knew now with absolute certainty that she didn’t want him back. She didn’t want to reconstruct her old life. She was excited about her new life. The one she’d tentatively started living. And John wasn’t part of that. She’d had no choice in any of the things that had happened to her this year, but now she had a choice.

She pressed her fist to her mouth, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. She felt ridiculously powerful for the first time in her life.

“Claudia?”

“Ellen and Tilda in the apartment above us have a spare key. I’ll message them and tell them to give it to you. Do what you want with the apartment, John. Keep it. Don’t keep it. Whatever. I don’t care. I won’t be coming back there. I’ll send someone to pack up my things.”

“You can’t mean that.”

“I do mean that.”

He made an impatient sound. “Is this some kind of petty revenge because I did the same thing?”

“No. This will no doubt deliver a bruise to your ego but I’m not even thinking about you right now. I’m thinking about me.” She stood up, smiling. “I don’t want to fly all the way to California simply to leave again once I’ve packed up my things. I can outsource that, but thank you for giving me the idea. You taught me how to take all the emotion out of a breakup.”

“I made a mistake, Claudia, I admit it.” He sounded desperate now. “And I wish I could explain why I did it, but—I don’t know,” he breathed. “Maybe it was hitting forty. Shook me up a little, you know?”

“Age isn’t a reason to cheat on your partner.”

“I regret that deeply. And I don’t expect you to forgive me overnight. I know I’ll have to work hard to earn back your trust.”

“Don’t bother. I really don’t care what you do or who you do it with. Sleep with who you like. We’re not together.”

“Is there someone else? Are you in love with someone?”

It was typical of John to assume that the only reason she wouldn’t want to be with him was because she’d found someone else.

“There’s no one else. I’m not in love.” Or maybe she was, in a way. She thought about the past few days, the fun she’d had with her friends, the excitement of stepping in and working in the kitchen, the buzz she felt discussing ideas with Hattie. The hope she’d felt when she thought about the future. She was in love with the idea of a new life.

“But you wanted to get married—”

“I’m pleased we didn’t. You weren’t the right man for me. I should probably thank you for making me see that. Now I have to go—I have a job to do. Don’t call again.” She ended the call and blocked his number. Then she read the email she’d been waiting for and went in search of Hattie.

She was talking to Chloe, but excused herself as soon as she saw Claudia.

“Are you okay?”

“I really am.” She felt as if she’d taken a massive step forward. “I need to talk to you about that job description.”

Hattie studied her face. “You don’t think it works?”

“It works.” Claudia took a breath and channeled all her newly discovered energy and confidence. “I’d like to apply.”

Hattie stared at her. “You?”

“I realize that you’ll want to see who else is interested,” Claudia said, “go through an interview process, although I do advise that whoever you consider offering the job to, you ask them to cook something for you because the proof of the pudding really is in the eating in this case. But I’d like to be considered.”

“Wait—” Hattie rubbed her fingers across her forehead. “Your home is California.”

“It’s not my home. I have a rented apartment, which is easily dealt with. I’m free to go anywhere I’d like to go—” she paused “—and I’d love that to be here. And I don’t want you to feel pressure. It’s important that this time around you hire exactly the person you think would be right for the job. Someone who can make your vision for this place come alive.”