The Favorites: A Novel(38)
“The Lins are looking for new partners,” I told him.
“Shit, really?” He blew out a long stream of smoke. “Don’t tell Josie, she’ll cream her chastity belt. Any idea who they’re going with?”
I bit my lip. Ellis stared at me.
“They want you to skate with Garrett.” He stubbed out his cigarette and turned to face me. “So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
Ellis pursed his lips. “Yes you do.”
“I have to—”
“You’d have to be a fucking idiot to turn down the chance to skate with Garrett Lin. And you’re a lot of things, Kat Shaw, but you are not an idiot.”
“But…” I swallowed, heartbeat fluttering in my chest. “What about Heath?”
“Boyfriends are easy to come by. Skating partners like Garrett, not so much.”
Especially for women like me—with my body type, my above-average height. If I turned this opportunity down, Garrett would have a hundred girls begging to skate with him by morning. Creating yet another high-performing team for Heath and me to compete against.
If Heath even still wanted to skate with me. Maybe all this soul-searching was a moot point. I might go back to the hotel and find him ready to break things off for good.
“Look, Kat.” Ellis dropped the smug look. Without it, the angles of his face softened; I might even have called him handsome. “I like you.”
I scoffed. “Really.”
“I’ve always liked you. You’re scrappy. Most of the other girls in this sport are spoiled little bitches like Josie. You may be a bitch, but you aren’t spoiled.”
“Wow, thanks.” I rolled my eyes, but I knew that was high praise coming from Ellis.
“You want to be a champion, right?”
“Of course. Don’t you?”
Ellis shrugged. “When I started out, I did. But at some point, you’ve got to be realistic. So here’s my question for you: do you think you can get to that level skating with Heath?”
I could have hesitated. Pretended to consider. I could even have lied.
Instead I looked Ellis right in the eyes, and I told the truth.
“No. I can’t.”
It was such a relief to say it out loud. I exhaled, breath clouding the chilly air. The rain was coming down harder now, turning the pond into a tessellation of ripples.
“He’s holding me back,” I said. “He’s been holding me back for years.”
“Well.” Ellis smiled and shook another cigarette free of the pack. “There you go.”
He wasn’t looking at me anymore. He was looking behind me, toward the garden entrance. I started to turn, to see for myself. But a part of me already knew.
Someone stood between the stone lions. It was too dark to make out his features, but I could see the outline of his body, the hunch of his shoulders, and that was enough.
“Heath.” His name came out in a horrified whisper.
I shot a panicked glance over at Ellis. He lifted the smoldering cigarette to his lips, but it wasn’t enough to conceal his smirk.
He’d known all along Heath was listening. He had wanted him to hear.
I stood. “Heath, wait!”
Heath turned, disappearing behind a curtain of raindrops. I ran after him. My shoes slipped on the wet stone, and I went down, gravel biting into my knees.
By the time I’d scrambled to my feet again, he was out of sight. I kept running, calling his name until my throat was raw. The few people out in the torrent gave me strange looks, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. I had to find him. I had to explain.
Finally, I spotted him a few blocks ahead—head bowed, leaning into the driving rain.
“Heath!” I screamed.
He froze for a moment. But he didn’t turn back.
That’s when I knew I’d lost him.
Garrett Lin: I wish I knew what happened that night.
Ellis Dean: Oh, I know exactly what happened that night.
Garrett Lin: If there was something I could have done to stop it…but by the time I found out, it was too late.
Ellis Dean: I figured Kat would catch up with him, and they’d have some big romantic screaming match in the rain and go back to their hotel for makeup sex. I honestly thought I was doing them both a favor, getting everything out in the open so they could get the hell over it and move on.
Garrett Lin: I know I’m biased, but Kat didn’t deserve that.
Ellis Dean: How was I supposed to know he’d react that way? I swear Heath Rocha was the most dramatic straight boy I ever met.
Garrett Lin: Kat deserved…well, she deserved better.
Chapter 26
When we left Japan, I was still in denial.
I don’t know how long I stayed out searching for Heath. Long enough for the freezing rain to soak through my thin jacket and the sweater underneath, down to my skin.
Eventually, I gave up and returned to our hotel, but I didn’t want to get in the shower—what if he came back, came looking for me, and I missed him?—so I lay under the covers, sleepless and shivering until dawn.
Later that morning, as I dragged my bags to the bullet train alone, I told myself he would be waiting at the station. Or at the airport. Or back in California. I imagined throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him until I couldn’t breathe. I imagined choking the life out of him.