The Favorites: A Novel(66)
I just wanted to see if she would lie.
Bella met my eyes without hesitation. “Of course not. You want to know why I’m here? Because it’s about damn time you stopped playing house and feeling sorry for yourself.”
There she was—my cutthroat, ambitious best friend.
“When are you coming back?” she asked.
“Who says I’m coming back?”
She rolled her eyes. “Let me guess. Heath doesn’t want to.”
He hadn’t gone that far. Not yet. But he was content in our little stone house by the lake, more at ease than I’d ever seen him.
Some days, I was content too. Other days, I felt trapped in a purgatory of my own making. Every day the same as the next, not working toward anything, not improving, not striving. Simply existing. Heath might be able to live like that, but I couldn’t.
“We haven’t discussed it,” I said.
“Seriously? What the hell have you been doing out here in the middle of nowhere for all this time, then?”
I raised a suggestive eyebrow.
Bella scowled. “Don’t answer that. And if you’re worried about me getting between you two again, don’t. You were right about him.” She laughed, but it did nothing to douse the spark of fury in her eyes. “Guess it was all about you after all, huh?”
I didn’t know what to say to that. Bella had every right to be angry. Heath had wasted her time, toyed with her emotions—and worst of all, derailed her career when it mattered the most.
“Anyway,” she said with an imperious sniff. “He’s all yours. At least you’ll have no trouble getting sponsors now.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know, because everyone’s so obsessed with you.” Bella fluttered her lashes. “Shaw and Rocha, the star-crossed childhood sweethearts of U.S. Figure Skating.”
I stared at her, confused. Her eyes widened.
“I thought you knew. You really haven’t seen it?”
“Seen what, Bella?”
She bit her lip. “Let’s go inside. Heath should know too.”
Ellis Dean: Everyone lost their minds over that damn picture.
The picture in question: a close-up of Katarina Shaw and Heath Rocha as he carried her off the ice at the 2006 U.S. National Championships.
Inez Acton: They looked like fucked-up Gothic wedding cake toppers. Him in a tux, her in that gauzy white dress with blood all over it.
Jane Currer: It was rather grotesque.
Francesca Gaskell: I mean, at the time, the situation was really scary. But that picture? (She sighs.) It was so romantic!
Inez Acton: It was romantic, but also raw. All that blood, and the intense look on his face, like he’s carrying a fellow soldier off the battlefield.
Garrett Lin: The last thing I wanted was to be reminded of that day, but when I saw the picture…well, I couldn’t look away. It made me think: of course. Of course it was always going to be the two of them together, in the end.
Ellis Dean: Their disappearing act following Nationals made everyone even more frantic for information. So I figured, why not give the people what they want?
Kirk Lockwood: In early March 2006, after announcing his retirement from competitive ice dance, Ellis Dean launched a figure skating gossip blog called Kiss & Cry.
Ellis Dean: It was a shitty-ass WordPress site at first. But it was a big hit—and not only with hardcore skating fans. Anytime I posted about Kat and Heath, the link would get shared around, and traffic would go nuts.
Screenshots of early Kiss & Cry stories about Katarina Shaw and Heath Rocha: “Wild Children—All About Kat and Heath’s Hardscrabble Early Years,” “?‘They Couldn’t Keep Their Hands Off Each Other’: Shaw and Rocha’s Training Mates Tell All,” “Every Cold Hard Fact We Know About Skating’s Hottest Couple.”
Jane Currer: That site is not at all representative of our sport. The focus should be on our athletes’ performances on the ice, not salacious details of their personal lives.
Ellis Dean: The Powers That Be got their granny panties in a bunch about it.
Francesca Gaskell: Sure, I read it. Everyone did—whether they admitted it or not.
Ellis Dean: I was pulling back the curtain and showing people what the skating world was really like—not the pretty image they try to project.
Garrett Lin: Ellis and I weren’t in touch then.
Ellis Dean: I dumped his closeted ass.
Garrett Lin: He could have outed me on his site, and he didn’t. I’m grateful for that.
Inez Acton: Calling Kiss & Cry “just” a gossip blog is so reductive. Gossip is a powerful tool the marginalized can wield against the establishment. Sometimes the only tool we have.
Ellis Dean: It’s not like I was just spilling the tea on which skaters were fucking and/or fighting at any given time. I reported on serious issues—harmful coaching practices, biased judging, disordered eating, sexual misconduct.
Screenshots of some of the Kiss & Cry stories Ellis mentions: “10 Signs Your Coach Doesn’t Deserve You,” “Shocking News: Figure Skating Still Terrified of Real Women’s Bodies,” “Olympic Pairs Skater Breaks Silence About Abusive Partner—and the High-Level Officials Who Enabled Him for Years.”
Ellis Dean: But yeah, in those early days, the Shaw and Rocha Saga made the best clickbait. That picture turned them into the Brad and Angelina of skating, and there was no going back.