The Gingerbread Bakery (Dream Harbor, #5)(53)

Mac shook his head. That was the whole problem. He still didn't know what he wanted and, faced with the expectations of his parents, he already felt himself slipping into old habits. It would be easy to make his mom happy and enroll in school or to take some of the workload off his dad. Mac liked easy. He liked being liked. He liked it when his parents were happy with him, and his teammates were cheering for him, and his buddies were congratulating him on a game well-played. But this wasn’t some stupid lacrosse game and Mac couldn’t keep picking the easy thing.

He thought of Annie and how hard she was working on getting her business started, how she told him she was taking classes and trying out new recipes and setting up a table at every farmers’ market, festival and fair in the county on the weekends. Mac had never worked that hard on anything in his life.

‘No, that's not what I was thinking, either,’ he said and now he really had both parents’ attention.

‘What did you have in mind?’ his mom asked.

And he knew he owed her an explanation. He owed her a plan. He owed her everything, really, for raising him, taking care of him and making his life incredibly easy for nineteen years. His dad, too. He’d given Mac his first job. He would have given him a job for the rest of his life if Mac wanted it.

But Mac didn’t want it. Not yet anyway. He needed to go somewhere else, anywhere else. He would never grow into the person he was meant to be if he continued to let his parents do everything for him. He needed to grow up. And he couldn’t do that here. Not with his kindergarten teacher still watching his behavior or his mom’s friends reporting back to her on who he was dating. Or girls like Annie thinking he was just some dumb jock. He was pretty sure he’d changed her mind about that, but still.

The town already thought they knew who Macaulay Sullivan was but he’d kinda like to figure it out for himself.

‘Actually, I am going to do some traveling.’

His father scoffed like Mac had suggested space exploration. ‘Traveling?’

‘What do you mean? You’re going on a trip with some friends?’ his mom asked.

‘No.’ Mac squirmed in his seat. No was not a word he liked to say to his mother. ‘No, I plan on traveling for a while across the country. I need to figure some things out. I have money saved up and…’

‘What the hell do you need to figure out?’ his father barked.

‘I need to figure out what I want. What I’m doing with my life.’

‘College is a great place to figure things out,’ his mom chimed in, and Mac felt like his head might explode. They’d had this conversation so many times.

Mac shook his head. ‘College isn’t for me, Mom. I need to get out in the world, you know?’

‘Everything you have here isn’t enough for you?’ his dad said, his voice rising.

‘That’s not what I’m saying.’

‘It sure sounds like it’s what you’re saying. After everything your mother and I do for you, it’s not enough.’

‘That’s not it! I just need to be on my own.’

‘And you need to travel across the country to do that? There are plenty of apartments right here in town. You could stay close and work at the pub and be here for your mother.’

‘Mom doesn't need me!’

‘The hell she doesn't!’

They were both standing and yelling now. Mac’s plan for a rational discussion was long gone.

‘I need to get the hell out of this town!’

‘Running away doesn't make you an adult.’

‘I’m not running away,’ Mac said, the fight going out of him. Was his dad right? Was he running away? Should he stay? Is that how he became an adult? He didn’t know anymore but, when he took a breath and looked down at his mom, the tears in her eyes had him ready to scrap the whole idea.

He dropped back down to his seat and put his head in his hands. ‘I just thought it would be good for me to be out on my own for a while. That’s all. Mom?’

She gave him a weak smile, wiping the tears quickly from her face. ‘Okay, baby,’ she said. ‘We’ll talk about it more later. I need to get to mass.’

And with that she got up from the table and left Mac alone with his father. The older man let out a long sigh. ‘She’s going to miss you like crazy if you go,’ he said.

‘I’ll miss you guys, too. But I feel like it's what I need to do.’

His dad gave a brusque nod. ‘If that’s what you feel like you need to do, I can't stop you.’

He gave Mac a rough pat on the back before heading out to work, leaving Mac drained and confused about whether his parents were angry with him or just sad to see him go. He didn't know anymore if this plan was worth it.

He took the torn piece of paper from his pocket that he and Annie had scribbled some ideas on at the diner that first day they hung out. He’d felt hopeful that day, like maybe this was something he could actually do, but maybe he'd been wrong. Maybe he should stay here in Dream Harbor. There were worse places to be stuck. He knew that he should be grateful.

But at the moment he only felt confined.

Trapped.

And more lost than ever.





Annie found herself on his doorstep that night full of nerves and excitement and uncertainty.