The Love of My Afterlife(27)
“I’ll meet you there at seven twenty-five tomorrow!” Frida calls after me. “Because you’re now running away without telling me your phone number!”
“Yeah, okay!” I call back, running back past the fountains and out onto Bayswater Road. I run as fast as I possibly can, because if I stop, the business I was telling everyone to keep their eyes off will be on full display for anyone who wants to have a gander.
I eventually slow down as I reach Westbourne Hyde Road, placing my hands over my crotch again. I spot Leanne, my boss from work, looking out of the huge pharmacy window. She gives me a little wave, then frowns as she notices the position of my hands. I nod a brief hello and frantically open my front door.
I step inside the hallway only to be faced with the disconcerting image of a dark-haired woman in yoga pants, wrapped all the way around Cooper. They’re pressed up against the doorway to his flat, a morning goodbye that appears to be lingering. The woman kisses Cooper’s neck. He nuzzles into her with a groan and scrapes his teeth lightly against her earlobe. His eyes open and latch briefly on to mine. I immediately blush and shuffle towards the stairs, hands still covering my modesty. The sound of the outer door slamming behind me yanks the woman away from her nibbling. She tinkles her fingers at Cooper in a reluctant goodbye. When she passes by me, I see that her eyes are all floaty looking, pupils fully dilated.
Cooper is still lingering in his doorway. I definitely do not want him to witness the fit of these running pants, so I sidestep like a crab across the corridor and then up the stairs.
“Delphie.”
Ah jeez.
Cooper strolls to the bottom step. “My extra research this morning. Did it help? Was it the right man?”
I continue up the stairs, angling myself completely away from him so that he is faced with a view of my butt as I ascend. Not ideal but better than the alternative. “Oh yeah!” I call over my shoulder. “His name is definitely Jonah Truman. Thanks so, so much for that. Really nice of you. I’m going to meet him tomorrow night and finally get all of this figured out. Okay! Bye then!”
I hop up a couple more steps.
“Wait. I need to ask you something.”
I pause, twisting my head as far round as I can without moving the rest of my body. Like in The Exorcist. “What is it?” I ask, wishing he would just bugger off. “I already updated my grocery delivery instructions online. They won’t ring your buzzer again.”
Cooper scoots up two of the stairs. Yikes. If he nudges past, he’ll see everything. I drop down, sitting myself onto the top stair and hunching my knees up so that the area between my waist and knees is covered. Cooper looks tired, his curls fluffy and wayward, the circles beneath his eyes darker than usual. It irritates me that this makes him look like a cooler version of himself. Like a drummer in a band. If I pulled sexual all-nighters at the rate he does, my face would look baggy and my eyes would constantly have those gross crusty bits in the corners.
To his credit, Cooper doesn’t seem to notice my boobs spilling out of the crop top, and even if he does, he manages to refrain from making a snide remark.
“It’s not about the groceries.” He shifts onto his other foot. “Remember how you said you would do anything for my help?”
“Of course I remember, it was literally yesterday. And I already did your weird selfie thing, so we’re even.”
“The selfie was in return for the help I gave you finding every Jonah T. in London. I did extra research this morning and told you about Jonah Truman and the running club, ergo you technically owe me again.”
“Ergo? Christ.”
“Ergo.”
I sigh. “What do you want?”
Cooper studies me for a moment. “Are you free this evening?”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Tell me why and then I’ll tell you if I’m free.”
Cooper runs his finger up and down the banister of the stairs. “So…I may have told my parents we were dating. And now they want to meet you.” He grimaces. “Tonight.”
“Yikes. Why? Is this something to do with why you wanted that selfie?”
He shrugs a shoulder. I feel a small flicker of pride that he thought I looked like someone who could feasibly be his girlfriend; for all his dickheadedness, there is no denying that Cooper is objectively attractive, if you’re into the whole French poet–meets–Cool Rider vibe. The parade of women he has on rotation are all way, way better looking than me.
My face must be doing something, because Cooper quickly clears his throat. “My parents are trying to set me up with our old neighbour Veronica. I needed someone to quickly take a picture with so they would hold off playing Cupid. I was desperate, and you were right there, already in my flat. You wouldn’t have been my first choice, of course, but—”
“Fuck you!” I jump up and then immediately sit back down for fear of exposing my caramel slice. “No, I’m not free this evening. Ask one of the others.”
“The others?”
“Your other women? The one-night stands? There’s a whole buffet to choose from. Why didn’t you ask the woman who just left?”
Cooper shakes his head. “Because I sent my mum and dad your photograph. Now they’ve invited us for games night, and if I say no, they will invite Veronica. Frankly, I can’t bear her, but my parents think she’s the bee’s knees.”