The Neighbor Favor(62)
Nick slumped down farther, a heavy cloud hovering above him as he thought about his parents. “My dad has this charm about him. It makes you feel like you want him to be your friend, even though you know it probably wouldn’t be a good idea. I worked at Jack in the Box in high school, and my dad would show up on payday and he would get all chummy with my boss and try to convince her to give him my check since I was a minor. Luckily my boss knew he was full of shit. There were times when he’d show up the UNC campus bookstore where I worked, and he’d ask me for money. His reasons were always different. Sometimes he said it was for my mom. Sometimes they needed rent money. He’d show up sounding so earnest, I didn’t know what to believe. And he’d beg me. I always ended up giving in, because how could I turn away my own dad? Meanwhile, he couldn’t be bothered to come to campus for my graduation. That’s partly why I traveled so much after college. I just wanted to get away. I needed to be in a place where my dad couldn’t randomly show up and find me. Where I wouldn’t be tempted to give in to him.”
“I’m so sorry, Nick,” Lily said softly. She was lying on her side now, looking up at him. “I had no idea.”
Nick nodded and stared down at his hands. “My babysitter is the one who told me the story about my grandparents. She took care of me when no one else would, but she wasn’t the kindest woman, and neither were her cats. They ruined my impression of cats for life.” He smiled at Lily, and she chuckled, rolling her eyes. “One of my earliest memories is of her telling me that I came from bad people who did bad things and I’d end up just like them. It was a fucked-up thing to say to a kid, and I became obsessed with knowing right from wrong. I didn’t want to be like them.”
“Like your dad and grandfather?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I feel like them sometimes, though. Or more so like my dad. Sometimes I fuck things up, even when I have the best intentions.” Like with you, he wanted to say. “He’s the reason I try not to drink.”
“You’re not like them,” she said with conviction.
Nick shook his head. “You don’t know that.”
“I do,” she insisted.
Nick didn’t say anything. Lily’s words were kind, but he didn’t believe them.
“Where does your mom fit in all of this?”
“She fits wherever my dad is. That’s where she wants to be.” Nick sighed deeply. He felt exhausted, like a wrung-out washcloth. He slid down until he was lying on his side too, facing Lily. Her bed smelled like her hair. Vanilla.
“I’ve only ever told those things to Marcus,” he said, his voice low.
She gently placed her hand over his. Electricity shot through his veins. “Thank you for telling me.”
“Thank you for listening.”
They stared at each other, their hands still touching. He noted every detail of her face. The thickness of her eyebrows and the fullness of her lips. He felt rooted to this moment, to her.
“Can I say something weird?” she asked quietly.
He smirked. “Always.”
“You feel so familiar to me, like I knew you in a past life or something. I know it sounds silly. I don’t even know if I believe in stuff like that.”
“It doesn’t sound silly.” His voice grew serious.
“No?”
“No. Lily . . . I’ve always wanted to know you.” It was as truthful as he could be. He wished he could tell her that he’d fallen for her last May when her email first hit his inbox.
Her eyes widened at his words. She inched closer and Nick did as well. His hand felt warmer under hers. He lifted it and gently kissed her knuckles. He wanted to feel his lips against her mouth, the rest of her body. The air suddenly felt thick and wired, like anything could happen. Lily stared at him, mesmerized as his hand slid down the slope of her side and rested against her hip. His hand was on fire. She moved closer again, pressing up against him. He felt the softness of her breasts against his chest and he grew hard as his fingers spread out against her hip. His mouth went dry and all he could think was that he had to kiss her. He leaned down, his lips hovering above hers, and he hesitated because he wanted this, but he had to know that she wanted it too. He was breathing heavily, the question hanging in between them. In the end, they met halfway, drawn to each other like magnets.
The kiss was slow and sweet, like they were both giving the other a chance to stop if they wished. When Lily didn’t back away, Nick pulled her flush against his body. Her hands gripped his biceps and the kiss deepened, her tongue sliding into his mouth. Nick’s hand wandered to her ass and he palmed it, bringing her even closer, leaving no space between them. Lily lifted her leg, hitching it over Nick’s hip, and his hands roamed up the back of her shirt, touching her hot skin. His lips trailed from her mouth down her neck, featherlight, then deeper, sucking, loving the taste of her skin against his tongue. Lily moaned, and her hips rocked against his. He felt her brush against his hardness, and every single thought left his brain. He wanted her so badly.
He lifted her so that she was straddling him. He slowly kissed her breasts through her shirt and she moaned softly, reaching for the hem of her T-shirt. Nick held his breath, preparing to pray at the altar of her beautiful breasts when something vibrated by his head, startling him.
It was Lily’s phone with a text alert from Violet.