The Pairing(62)

The bigger, busier coastal village of Riomaggiore reminds me of Barcelona, with its Gothic churches and street carts selling paper cones of calamari. I remember that second hot night, begging Santiago to fuck Theo out of my mind for long enough to catch my breath. How I heard her across the alley and raised my voice, knowing she probably wasn’t listening, pretending she was. How the thought made me come so hard I passed out and had to buy Santiago an apologetic breakfast.

By the time the train drops us in Manarola, I am half agony, half hard. We wander dusty trails through the terraced hillside vineyards and climb to a pink trattoria with sweeping views for dinner. I expect Theo to leave me for another table, but she isn’t avoiding me—she’s aggressively ignoring me, which is at least familiar. She drops into the seat beside me on the rooftop terrazzo, across from the Calums.

The Calums have been uncharacteristically quiet today, and they simply nod their chins at her in approval. I don’t spend much time with traditionally masculine men unless they’re, quite frankly, fucking me, but I like the Calums. They exude a certain harmlessness, the earnest and beefy benevolence of Channing Tatum, or a cow. Theo loves them, of course, because Theo was a frat daddy in a past life.

Waiters bring around bottles of cold white wine and a parade of seafood antipasti—fileted anchovies brined in lemon and olive oil, squid braised in their own ink, herbed octopus. Then come plates of fresh-cut pasta drenched with cuttlefish ink and clattering with mussels and clams, and then fat-bellied amberjack that gleam like they’re still dewy from the fisherman’s hold.

It’s an incredible meal, and we’re all sitting around it, barely talking.

Finally, Theo jabs her fork at the Calums and says, “What’s going on with you two? Did you get drunk and have sex or something?”

Ginger Calum’s face pinkens and Blond Calum suddenly becomes fascinated with a prawn. My interest is piqued.

“Oh my God,” Theo whispers, leaning in, “you did.”

“We didn’t,” Blond Calum says to his prawn.

“Right,” Ginger Calum agrees, “because you were too busy stabbing me in the back with your cock, mate.”

I lower my eyebrows. “Sorry, did you have sex or not?”

“I did not stab you in the back!” Blond Calum snaps, rounding on his fellow Calum. “I seized an opportunity!”

“Pause.” Theo holds up both hands. “What happened?”

Neither Calum says anything, both scowling. Finally, Ginger Calum speaks.

“Last night in Monaco, we were out with two birds, and we were both trying to . . . well, you know.”

“Do the ol’ rudie nudie,” Blond Calum provides.

“But then Calum took both of them home while I was in the toilet. And he didn’t even ask me first.”

“It was their idea!”

“I liked her!”

“You couldn’t even decide which one you liked better.”

“They’re both lovely women!”

“You would have done the same thing if you hadn’t been fucking munted,” Blond Calum says. “I told you, you can’t hold your champagne.”

“Can I say something?” I interject before Ginger Calum can go off. “In my experience, group sex with a close friend can get a bit . . .” I deliberately don’t glance at Theo, but I can feel her eyes on me. “Emotionally complicated.”

Ginger Calum frowns. “What do you mean?”

“Calum,” I say, “is it possible you’re not upset about the girls, but that Calum had a threesome and didn’t invite you?”

Both Calums are silent again. Theo is quiet too, arms crossed, swirling her wine around in its glass.

“Is that it?” Blond Calum asks Ginger Calum.

Ginger folds his arms. “We promised that if we ever did it, we would do it together.”

“When we were fifteen, Calum! It didn’t mean anything!”

“It meant something to me!”

Theo presses her knuckles to her lips. The Calums share a long moment of intimate eye contact. I share a long moment of intimate eye contact with the branzino on the table, reflecting on the week I’ve had.

“I didn’t know it was that important to you,” Blond says softly. “Honestly, I didn’t think you’d mind.”

Ginger says, “Well, it hurt my feelings.”

“I’m sorry, mate. I was just—I was caught up in the moment, I guess. I wasn’t thinking.”

“In Calum’s defense,” Theo chimes in, leaning forward. It seems like the phrase caught up in the moment may have activated something in her. “I think we all probably made some questionable decisions in Monaco.”

She looks directly at me. I clench my jaw.

“It was something in the air, wasn’t it?” Blond Calum says.

“Definitely,” Theo agrees. “I mean, Kit kissed me. Can you believe that?”

My heart drops.

“No!” Ginger Calum shouts, instantly lit up with laughter. “Naughty lad!”

Blond Calum jumps in too, and I order myself to laugh along and take my ribbing, but my sinuses are beginning to sizzle, which can only mean one thing. Theo is watching my face closely over her glass.

“Yes, very funny, what was I thinking,” I say, pushing my chair back. “Excuse me.”