The Paradise Problem (94)
“This is only about money,” I tell him, feeling the tight strangle of tears in my throat, the weight of his necklace against my skin, the ring on my finger. “You lied to me.”
“I didn’t.”
“You absolutely did. When Mel called the first time with the news that the paintings sold, you could have told me it was you. Better yet, you could have told me before you did it. You could have run it by me.” I stare at him, devastated. “How long were you going to let me think that someone else bought them?”
Liam sits up and runs a hand through his hair. “I thought it would be romantic if you saw them for the first time in my house.”
I’m so exhausted, I just want to get off this roller-coaster ride. “Liam, that’s what happens in movies.”
He nods, his posture deflating. “Yeah.”
“But in reality, what it feels like is you just using your money and influence to direct the path of my career because you think you know what’s best for me, and I’m not sure, but I think that exact same situation is why you’ve been frowning out windows for the past six hours.”
“Anna, that’s not—”
“It is the same.”
“I’m not doing what my father did,” he says, jaw tight.
We stare at each other, suffering through the fucking brutality of this moment. Nothing feels lonelier than fighting with him right now.
“You’re right. You bought my paintings out of love—or something that looks like it. Your father’s actions aren’t motivated by that. Intent matters.” I take a steadying breath, nostrils flared. “But you can’t buy my love. That part of me wasn’t ever for sale. I gave you my body and my heart because of what you make me feel, not because you’re rich. Your money is the thing I like the least about you.”
“I know.”
I search his eyes, trying to understand him. “And if the distinction is so important, if what your dad is doing is so abhorrent, tell me why you’re going along with it. Jake, Charlie, even Alex—they’ll be fine. Who needs that much money anyway? It’s clearly made you all miserable. Do you see that? You’re all rich and completely miserable, and yet you want more?”
He exhales in frustration. “I don’t care about the money. But it isn’t just about me.”
Inside I am restless. I know I won’t like where this is going, but I can’t stop. “You’re sacrificing your happiness to protect the rest of your family? Admirable, yes. But come on, Liam.”
“Let it go, Anna.”
“Charlie will be fine,” I say. “The McKellans are loaded.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose, frustrated.
“Alex and Jake have enormous salaries. They’re never leaving the company. Even if Jake never marries or never has access to his inheritance, he’s still richer than almost every other person on this planet. And your mom, should she ever wise up and leave her sludge goblin of a husband, will be fine. There’s no way California law would leave her with no alimony. So she goes on one cruise a year instead of owning the yacht. People live with much, much less.”
He lets out a humorless laugh. “You don’t know my father.”
“You’re right, and I mean, what I do know is horrifying, but I also think your worldview is totally broken if you think any of you with your very legitimate careers are better off sacrificing your happiness to that man just to make sure you can still wear Gucci to take the trash out.”
“Anna, I can’t unilaterally decide to alter this huge aspect of their lives,” he says, his voice hoarse with frustration.
“But it’s not you!” I cry. “It’s Ray. Ray has made you think the responsibility lies with you. Ray is the one who’s threatening to challenge the trust so you’ll do what he wants. Ray doesn’t have to take this to the courts. What he’s doing is emotional manipulation, Liam. You don’t have to fall for it.”
“Whether they need the money or not, whether it’s fair or not, whether or not I’m being manipulated, at the end of the day, our marriage is a fraud. We did lie. I’m the reason my siblings are in this situation. Choosing to protect myself in all of this, despite all of that, is exactly what my father would do. I have to make the other choice.”
Oh. Oh, Liam.
“But would your siblings choose you?” I ask, feeling disgusted by all of them. “You know they wouldn’t, Liam. Maybe they love you, but they’re broken.” I take a step closer. “How many of them spoke up to protect Thuy at the restaurant? How many of them blinked about buying a house because Charlie’s rental flooded? They brought who knows how much crap and garbage to a protected island in the middle of the ocean. If you ask them to pick between you and money, they will choose money every time.”
“You don’t know that,” he says quietly.
“Maybe not,” I say, “but I think you do. I’m the only one here offering you unconditional support and love—and I’m not even asking you to choose me. I’m asking you to choose yourself. Because they won’t.”
Liam’s expression shuts down, and I know I’ve gone too far, but I don’t care.
He walks back to the window, looking out over the Singapore skyline. “Well, luckily,” he says, voice barely audible, “I’m not forcing them to choose.”