The Romance Revival(86)
She takes it, scanning the page. “This can’t be right. Luca’s crazy about you.”
“He is now. I guess the old Luca wasn’t, anymore.” I suck in a jagged breath. “Maybe he remembered how he felt before the accident. Maybe he fell out of love with me again.”
Every time I got home late, every time I left while he was sleeping, every time I disappeared into my office and closed the door, every time I was lost in thought while he was trying to spend time with me… it all pulses with nauseating clarity in my thoughts. I realized everything too late. I’m too late.
If I’m honest with myself, I know that Luca was always front and center in my heart but at the back of my mind. Always when when when—and I never appreciated the now. I didn’t see it, but Luca did. He was always there when I needed him, always ready with coffee, with food after a long day, ready to help me lose myself in his body when I needed a break from my head. And I never offered the same support in return.
Until now. When I finally put him first and my work second, when I put his needs before my own guilt and ambition, when I let myself fully love him. It was the easiest thing in the world. Why did I wait so long? Why did I assume he would always be there?
“Oh my God, Emery. I’m so sorry, honey.” Annie wraps me in a hug, and I squeeze my eyes against the idea of a life without him.
Another thought occurs to me. “What if he thinks I knew?”
Annie sits back on her heels to see me. “About the lawyer? Like, you were taking advantage of his amnesia and keeping it from him?”
I nod. “Like I was tricking him. Hoping he wouldn’t find out. Luca never hides anything. He has the same password for every account. The pin for his phone is 123456. He had the paperwork right there in his fucking desk. Not even trying to hide it. Maybe he remembered that, too.” Another sob tears from my throat. “I didn’t know, Annie. I swear. I would never trick him into staying if I’d known he’d really wanted to leave.”
“I know, honey. And I’m sure he knows it, too. Even if he doesn’t remember, he knows who you are. I’m sure of that.”
I nod, hoping that’s true. “I messed up, but I would never lie about that. I’d never intentionally hurt him.”
“I know, Em. Do you think that’s why he’s not here?”
I realize when she asks that Crash assumed he’d left to clear his head, that he was avoiding my calls because of the revelation that he was unhappy enough to consider ending our marriage.
But I know Luca differently than he does. He wouldn’t disappear like that, he wouldn’t punish me, even if he thought I’d intentionally kept this from him.
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “No.” And the longer the words are out there, the more I’m sure they’re true. The old Emery and Luca, we loved each other, but we took the easy way out. The Luca I know now asks for what he needs and holds me accountable because it’s what he deserves. He might have been unhappy, even enough to end our marriage, he might be angry or hurt, but he’d never do it like this. The Luca I know would never just disappear without a word.
42 EMERY
I move immediately to the front door, walking robotically, no hesitation. I can hear Annie’s footsteps behind me, trying to catch up. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”
Normally, I would say this is the opposite of a good idea, but right now, what other options do I have? “She sees everything in this neighborhood. She writes it all down in a damn notebook.”
“Yes, and she also called the police and told them you murdered your husband and loaded him into your car. She’s not exactly your biggest fan.”
But she is Luca’s, I remind myself. I’m halfway across the yard when a truck pulls up behind me. For a moment I think it’s Luca, but it isn’t his work truck, it’s Crash’s.
“I was down the street,” he says, swinging both feet to the ground. He closes the door behind him and jogs over to us. He’s wearing a tie, and not even the kind printed on the front of a novelty T-shirt, either. “Nothing yet?”
“Crash, I don’t have time right now. I need to find Luca.”
“That’s why I’m here.” His eyes track the direction we were headed. “You’re going to Betty’s?”
“Yes, we are. She might have seen something.” Annie’s gaze sweeps down his body. “I see you own more than one shirt.”
“And I see you noticed,” he says with a grin, before turning to me. “And no offense, Em, but Betty doesn’t like you.”
“But she likes you?” Annie says.
“Let’s just say we have a certain rapport.”
They’re still arguing when I turn to cross the yard, taking Betty’s steps two at a time before ringing the doorbell. Not that the doorbell is even necessary; I’m certain she already knows I’m here. I hear Annie and Crash right behind me.
A few moments later, the front door opens, and Mrs. Caldwell stands stiffly in the opening. “Hello, Emery.”
“Betty—”
She folds her arms across her chest. “I would rather you refer to me as Mrs. Caldwell,” she says firmly.
Well, okay. I share a look with Annie, who wordlessly tells me to keep my shit together. “Mrs. Caldwell,” I say through a clenched jaw. “I was wondering if you’ve seen Luca today.”