The Sky Beneath Her(41)

I didn’t want to remember home or him, but I didn’t know how to refuse. “Thank you.”

He sipped his coffee, motioned for the waiter, and ordered fresh coffee. “Tell me about your United States family,” he said. “You said you have a cousin there?”

I’d learned to keep my stories and lies simple. “My late husband has a distant cousin in New York who has agreed to sponsor me. But I don’t know very much about her.”

“Very lucky that you have a sponsor. And that you were able to get out of Austria. Many are now scrambling. If you’d delayed much longer, it might not have been possible.”

I’d witnessed the changes as the barge had floated out of Vienna along the Danube and down a canal toward the city of Constan?a, on the Black Sea. Sunken ships, armored boats equipped with guns, soldiers lining the shoreline.

When military vessels approached the barge one time, I was shown below deck to a small compartment under the stairs. I’d remained hidden until weeks later, when the old sailor who’d carried me the length of the river had guided me to another boat. He told me, “In Lisbon, the Salvadoran embassy officer can help you with papers.”

After spending months in Barcelona, I’d obtained identity papers in exchange for a diamond from one of my bracelets. I visited the Lisbon docks daily to buy passage, but no seats were available. And as I waited, I heard more news of bombings, deportations, troop movement. Yet I only worried that Alfred would find me. Finally, I was able to secure a small cabin. When I presented my papers, the guard fixed his gaze on mine as he studied them. I kept my stare steady as I slipped him 5,000 Portuguese escudos. Finally, he stamped my papers so hard I jolted. When I reached Port of Spain and saw the US soldiers, I’d taken some comfort. I was almost free.

“I was arrested in Vienna in 1938,” Dr. Brooks said as if sharing a daring secret. “I had been in Austria on and off since 1935, and suddenly the local officials decided I was a spy. Cost me a fortune to bribe my way out of that country.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Many had vanished into those dark cells and never been seen again. “You’re lucky to be free.”

“Indeed. It’s a shame such a lovely city has grown so dark. But we’re both far from any troubles in Austria.”

I didn’t believe that. The troubles were spreading now like a plague. “Yes.”

He left his meal untouched. “You said your husband passed.”

He was a curious man, but I couldn’t tell what he was after. Was he making conversation or digging for something deeper? My guard rose. “Yes. But if you don’t mind, I’d rather not talk about him.”

“Of course. I understand. Painful memories.”

Dr. Brooks’s gaze pried at the lid of my Pandora’s box. “How far along are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”

The waiter delivered my breakfast, and when I reached for my fork, Dr. Brooks buttered a piece of his toast. “The baby is due in June.” The baby had been conceived on September 21, 1941.

“It’ll be quite a joyous moment in such dark times.”

“Yes.” I set down my fork, drawing in a deep breath. The past hovered so close.

“You must eat,” Dr. Brooks said.

I looked up, realizing he was still watching me closely. “My appetite comes and goes.”

“The baby needs to eat. So, you must eat.”

I was well trained to take orders and without thinking picked up a sliver of dry toast and took a bite. The bread was soft. As I ate, he made light conversation about the Oceanus and its history.

When I’d cleared my plate, he looked pleased. “That baby is hungry.”

“Yes.”

“Would you like to join me for a walk on the deck?” he asked. “It’s a pleasant morning. In a day or two, when we’re farther north, the weather will grow colder.”

In the months I’d been in Port of Spain, I’d savored the heat. “Yes, I would like the fresh air.”

He rose and came behind my chair, offering his hand. I took it and stood, feeling the weight of the baby bearing down on me.

“All right?”

“Yes,” I said. “I’m just a bit awkward these days.”

“That’s normal.”

He escorted me out of the dining room and up a flight of stairs. Soon we were stepping out on the windswept top deck. The morning sky was clear and the sun very bright. I inhaled the salt air, finding it more refreshing than city air, which always carried a stench.

We walked to the railing, and I stared out over the waves, which rolled under the sun’s glare. Easy to fall prey to the vast ocean, ready to swallow ships like this whole. As much as I savored the fresh air, my nerves tightened, and I felt oddly claustrophobic.

“The ocean really makes you nervous,” Dr. Brooks said.

“Yes.” My honesty surprised me. “Rivers I know; oceans are a different creature.”

“They’re one and the same. The rivers feed into the ocean eventually. And the ocean isn’t good or evil, but she’s to be respected. She doesn’t care much about either you or me.”

Hints of bitterness washed over his words. “Have you been at sea for a long time?” I asked.

“I’ve voyaged across water more than most. A ship I was on, the Valiant, was sunk off the coast of Africa.” He paused, and as the silence stretched, I wondered if he’d say anything else. “I don’t wish to frighten you.”