The Sky Beneath Her(64)

Nathan was silent for a moment. “I know I’ve said this before, but I think a lot about that last day and how different it would have been if I’d been there.”

It was good we were talking on the phone. I didn’t think I could look at him and not burst into tears. “You broke your arm. That wasn’t your fault.”

“You never asked how I broke it.”

“Sorry. That detail got lost in the chaos.”

“I was in a car accident. A tourist in a rush to pick up morning bagels ran a red light and T-boned me.”

I remembered his arm in a sling and the bruise on his cheek. But I hadn’t cared how badly he was hurt. I’d wanted him on that boat when Mom wasn’t surfacing. I was convinced he could have saved her. I’d felt so alone and scared.

After Mom went missing, Nathan managed to join the search for her, even with a broken arm. I’d hoped he’d known her well enough to find her. And when she was never located, I blamed him for not finding her. For weeks, I kept thinking Mom would be found. I refused to hold a memorial service or to speak to Nathan. Finally, he’d left the Outer Banks and moved on to a new dive job, and everyone stopped asking me when there’d be a memorial service.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I said.

“I’d accept that if you could as well,” he said quietly.

“I don’t blame you anymore. I got tired of being angry. That day was Mom’s fault and mine.”

“How was your mother’s choice your fault?”

“I was the last person to see Mom. I knew she didn’t always listen to me.”

“Your mother could be stubborn.”

“I should’ve pulled her to the surface or stayed at her side.” But I’d been running out of air, and Mom had always been adamant that we surface before the gauge dropped below five hundred pounds of pressure. I was so certain she’d follow her own rule as I swam to the boat.

“Do you think you could’ve really made her surface?”

“I wish I’d tried harder.” Suddenly, the weight of the past settled on my shoulders.

“What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Cleaning Sunday-morning move-outs and then the Brooks house.”

“And after?”

“Wishing every muscle in my body didn’t ache.”

He chuckled. “Let me take you out on the boat. No diving. Just a sunset ride. Clear skies. Calm waters.”

I was charmed, I think. “The master diver does sunset rides?”

“Not as a general rule, but I make exceptions sometimes.”

“Are these adventures your signature moves with the ladies now?”

He laughed. “Not as often as you might think.”

Stood to reason there had been women. He was good looking, fit, and smart. Was I jealous? Even if I was a little, who was I to judge? I’d picked up and discarded a husband along the way. “Okay. I’ll go.”

“Great. I’ll pick you up about five.”

That was a few hours before sunset, but it would take time to get to the harbor in traffic and out to the sound. “I’ll be ready.”

When I hung up, I shifted my attention back to the passenger and crew lists. So many vibrant people with full and active lives. And they were all dead. Just like Gertrude, Sigrid, William, Kevin, Dr. Brooks . . . Mom. And one day, Kaitlin, Nathan, and I would be gone. That was the way.

I reached for my phone and texted Kaitlin.

Me: Are you up?

Kaitlin: Barely.

Me: Thinking about the last dive with Mom. I dropped a barrier around that time, and I couldn’t break through it for a long time.

Kaitlin: And now? Ready to face it?

Me: I don’t know. But the farther I run from it, the more messed up my life gets.

Kaitlin: Then swim toward it.

Me: I am. Kind of. Maybe, dogpaddling toward the past.

Kaitlin: Just keep moving. If you don’t reach the other side, you’ll drown.

I looked around the old place. The roaring ocean beyond the dunes was becoming kind of soothing. I was falling for the ocean again. After this house was clean, where would I go next? The cubicle in Norfolk wasn’t so appealing anymore.

Me: I know.





Chapter Twenty-Three


Tula





Sunday, June 14, 2026, 5:00 p.m.


I’d jumped in the shower and done my best to scrub the scents of disinfectant from my hair and skin.

I’d been tempted to dress super casual, as if to reiterate that Nathan and I were just buddies. I pulled on a new T-shirt and white shorts, which no longer grabbed my ass as tightly as they had a few days ago. I’d taken a few extra minutes with my hair, even using a hair dryer, and applied a little makeup. And then at the last minute, I changed into a casual blue sundress and sandals.

Nathan arrived right on time. He got out of his truck and walked to the front door as if it were a proper date. I opened the door seconds after he’d knocked. His damp hair was brushed off his tanned face, making his blue eyes pop. He wore a V-neck shirt, shorts, and docksiders. He didn’t need to do much to look amazing.

“Hey,” I said. “Want to come in?”

“We better get going if we’re going to catch the sunset.”

The days were the longest this time of year, but June meant vacationers were checking in this time of day, and traffic was going to be thick. “Sure.”