The Teacher(48)
I try to catch him after the bell rings, but he takes off like a flash, and I’m left behind, my head still spinning. We’re supposed to meet after he’s done with the school paper, but I can’t wait that long. So I grab my phone and send him a message in Snapflash:
What happened? I thought you entered me in that contest?
Thankfully, his reply comes soon after:
I promise I’ll explain everything when we meet.
I stare at the words on the screen, which don’t explain anything. But at least he admits he has explaining to do.
On top of that, he ends up being twenty minutes late for our liaison in the darkroom. I stand there waiting for him, getting more and more irritated, and when the door finally opens, I’m ready to jump out of my skin.
“Addie.” He reaches for my hands to try to bring me close to him. “I am so glad to see you. It’s been a long day.”
When he touches me, I usually melt into his embrace, but this time, I resist. I am angry at him, damn it. He owes me an explanation. “What happened with that poetry contest, Nathaniel? You told me you entered my poem.”
“I know, and I am so incredibly sorry.” He hangs his head. “You have to know, you were my first choice. I loved your poem, and I think you would have won easily. But Lotus went to the principal and complained that I had chosen a poem written by a junior, when traditionally seniors are entered in the contest. I wanted to fight for you, but given my feelings for you, I was worried it was a conflict of interest. And you have a chance to be in the contest next year, but this was Lotus’s last shot.”
I have spent most of the past two hours being furious at Nathaniel, but now I realize that was misguided. Lotus was the one who went to the principal to complain. That is so low, especially considering her recent attempts at friendship.
“I’m so sorry.” He places his hands on my cheeks, drawing my face to his. “I should have fought for you. I was just scared that the second I said your name to the principal, she would see through me and know how deeply I cared for you.”
Despite everything, his words warm my heart. He cares for me—deeply.
“It’s okay,” I finally say. “It’s not your fault. I understand the position you were in.”
“Oh, thank God.” His shoulders sag. “I thought you were angry at me and would never forgive me. I was going out of my mind, thinking that when I got here, you might not be here.”
“I wouldn’t do that.”
He presses his lips against mine, and it makes every part of me spark with electricity. I never knew that kissing another person could be like this. I bet Nathaniel never knew it either. He talks a lot about how hard it is being married to somebody who he never felt any connection to and how being with me is like something he has never experienced before.
“You have become so important to me, Addie,” he breathes when his lips separate from mine. “We love with a love that is more than love. With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven coveted.”
“Annabel Lee” has been my favorite poem for many years, but I’ve never felt the words so deeply. After all, I have no other thought than to love and be loved by him. It almost frightens me how head over heels I am for Nathaniel. He’s already my first thought when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about as I’m falling asleep. When I write poetry these days, it is always about him. I am so in love with this man.
“I only wish I could’ve met you back when I was sixteen,” he murmurs. “How unfair is the universe? I finally meet my other half, and I am two decades older than you.”
“At least we’ve found each other now,” I point out. “That’s more than a lot of people get.”
“Very true.”
We don’t have a lot of time before both of us have to get home, and there’s always the fear of being discovered, so usually we get right to it. It doesn’t last long, and Nathaniel says that’s normal when you like somebody as much as he likes me. I think of how happy I’ve been making him and the fact that he is so miserable at home, with his wife. She can’t make him happy the way I do. And she’s always nagging him to get home, so we can’t stick around and talk like we want to.
Not that things would be super easy even if he weren’t married. My mother would still get suspicious if I got home too late, and nobody at school could find out, of course. But if he weren’t married to Mrs. Bennett, I could go to his house and we could have sex in an actual bed instead of this uncomfortable darkroom. The idea of having sex with Nathaniel in a bed seems so exciting and grown-up.
Plus, eventually I will graduate from high school, and I will get to date whoever I want. But if Nathaniel is still with his wife, he will be trapped.
If only Mrs. Bennett weren’t around. It would be so much better.
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Chapter Forty-Two
ADDIE
WHILE I AM SITTING in the cafeteria, all alone as usual, Kenzie spills my entire lunch on the floor.
To somebody not watching carefully, it looks like an accident. She passes by my table and knocks into my tray, and it falls on the floor. But that’s not what happens. As she’s walking by, Kenzie grabs my tray, slides it out so it’s sticking off the table, then lets it drop to the floor.