The Thrashers(39)

Miranda waited, and Jodi said, “It’s something the school came up with.”

“The school? The administration?”

“No, the students. During freshman year.”

Harding gave a barely perceptible nod. “And is that how long you’ve been a Thrasher? Since your freshman year?”

“I don’t call myself that. It’s not—” She tried to collect her thoughts before they spilled from her lips. “We didn’t agree to the name. The five of us would rather not be called that.”

“But it does come with perks, doesn’t it?”

Jodi kept her mouth pressed shut, waiting for Detective Harding to continue.

Harding tilted her head, and Jodi realized that Buechler was allowing her to lead this section. He and Yang were rapt with attention.

“What’s the question?” Miranda prodded.

“Do you think there are perks to being a Thrasher?” Harding said.

“No comment,” Miranda said to her notes.

“I asked you when we last talked if you helped any of your friends with their grades.” Harding stared at Jodi, like waiting for a fish on a line. “You said you didn’t. Are there other reasons why Zackary Thrasher, Julian Hollister, Lucy Reed, and Paige Montgomery would want you around?”

Miranda looked up. Jodi stared back, feeling her pulse pounding.

“We’re friends,” she said weakly.

Harding paused, as if Jodi would continue. She decided not to.

“Why do you think you’re friends? What do you think you add to the dynamic?”

Her breath stuck in her throat. It was the poignant question she’d spent the last three years obsessing over. Longer, maybe. Since Zack got his braces off in seventh grade and Kacey Andrews asked him to a dance. Since Julian and Zack’s first sleepover freshman year. Since the first pool party with Lucy and Paige. Since the first time Julian tried to leave her off a group chat.

“I’ve been friends with Zack since—”

“Second grade, yes,” Harding said, glancing down at her notes, though Jodi knew she didn’t need to. “Why do you think your bond is so strong, seeing as your socioeconomic positions are different, your hobbies are different, and your relationship has never become sexual?”

Jodi swallowed, and Harding’s eyes dipped, catching it. She felt pressure on all sides of her body, like she was deep, deep in the ocean. When Jodi couldn’t answer, Harding continued.

“Would you classify yourself as ‘the funny one’ or ‘the smart one?’ Anything like that?”

The implication was clear. You are not “the pretty one,” “the sexy one.”

Jodi glanced at Buechler. He was watching her with a predator’s eye, waiting for the weakness. Yang twirled his pen.

“Jodi,” Detective Harding said softly, friendly, “have you ever worried that you were going to be Thrashed?”

Her eyes welled.

Every day of my life.

She was giving them exactly what they wanted. That’s why Harding took lead on this. She already knew it. With her fake Louboutins and her clever nicknames—“Box-Dye.”

Jodi took a steadying breath.

“No comment.”





Case No. 4512420

Excerpt from the journal of Emily Mills

Entered into evidence 6.08.2024 by Det. Chelsea Harding

SEPT. 24, 2023

I’VE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT JODI DILLON. SHE’S NOT THAT PRETTY. SHE MIGHT BE PRETTIER THAN ME, BUT THAT’S BECAUSE SHE KNOWS HOW TO DO HER EYELINER. SHE’S NOT RICH LIKE THE REST OF THEM. I’M WAY RICHER. I’M SKINNIER THAN HER, I’M SMARTER THAN HER. SHE MIGHT HAVE BIGGER BOOBS. I DON’T KNOW.

BUT I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT HER BECAUSE SHE MATTERS TO ZACK FOR SOME REASON. I FOUND OUT THAT THEY WENT TO ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TOGETHER AND HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOREVER. I LOOKED UP YEARBOOK PICTURES FROM PHOEBE HEARST ELEMENTARY. SHE WAS CUTE, BUT ZACK WAS CUTER—WITH HIS LITTLE FLOPPY HAIR. UGH I WANNA DIEEE.

I JUST DON’T GET HER. IT FEELS LIKE MAYBE … LIKE IF SHE CAN BE A THRASHER, MAYBE I CAN, TOO. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE BEAUTIFUL OR RICH OR HAVE PERFECT LEGS LIKE PAIGE MONTGOMERY OR GO BRALESS LIKE LUCY REED DOES. I THINK YOU JUST HAVE TO BE IMPORTANT TO ZACK.

I COULD BE IMPORTANT TO HIM. I KNOW I COULD.

I HAVE A B-IN BIO BECAUSE I’M SPENDING CLASS WATCHING JODI DILLON. DAD TOOK AWAY MY PHONE, MY IPAD, MY LAPTOP. HE DOESN’T KNOW THAT THOSE AREN’T DISTRACTING ME (UNLESS I’M STARING AT ZACK’S INSTAGRAM UNTIL I FALL ASLEEP). I CAN’T LISTEN TO MRS. HUBERMAN TALK ABOUT MITOSIS—NOT WHEN JODI IS SITTING NEXT TO ME. SHE’S FASCINATING.

I THINK I COULD BE HER IF I TRIED.





Chapter Twelve


OCTOBER

Two weeks before homecoming, Zack sat down next to her under the oak tree and said, “I just went to the office to decline the homecoming king nomination, if there’s a nomination.”

Jodi stopped chewing her peanut butter sandwich and swallowed drily. “What?”

“The juniors are nominating Emily for junior princess.” He ran a hand through his hair roughly. “At least twenty of them did, so she’ll be on the ballot for sure.”

Jodi breathed deep, staring out over the field.