The Thrashers(71)

“We just want you to know that we’re here for you,” Lucy added.

“If I’d known the only way to get you guys to hang out with me again was to fuck up, I would have careened off course months ago.” She felt rage boil over. She wished she had a car, so she could just walk out like they did in the movies. Make them think about what they’d done.

But instead Lucy’s brows were raised. Paige’s eyes narrowed in on her as Zack’s mouth opened and closed.

“So this was a big cry for attention?” Julian spoke up for the first time. He popped the last of the banana into his mouth and chewed slowly.

She felt something inside of her snap. “When you all decided to invite Emily Mills to play Ride or Die, was that your idea of Thrashing her?”

She looked over their stunned faces. Zack was the first to look away from her. Lucy checked in with Julian before clearing her throat. “What are you talking about?”

“I know you played Ride or Die with Emily in April, and so does the prosecution.”

Julian leaned back, resting his head on a cabinet and closing his eyes in defeat.

Paige stuttered. “Okay, so … from what I remember, you weren’t free. I think you had to go home or something. We didn’t like, exclude you on purpose.”

Paige’s expression looked earnest, but Jodi knew that she had no plans in her life that didn’t revolve around being available for the four people in this room.

Zack ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I think we did play Ride or Die with her. You made it pretty clear that you don’t like that game. So yes, when we were hanging out, I guess we assumed it would be okay to play a game without you—”

“Look, I’m sure there’s tons of things I’m not included in. Especially these days.” She swallowed. “I’ve accepted that you guys don’t want me around all the time. I’m not Emily. I can take a fucking hint.”

Paige reached out her hand, brows scrunching in concern. “Wait, Jodi—”

“I get it, okay? Just don’t lie to me about it.” She set her Pellegrino down with too much force. “Never mind. I just want you guys to know that there’s an eyewitness to that, and it didn’t look good from the outside.”

“Who?”

Jodi snapped her head toward the voice. Lucy had been quick to ask.

“I can’t tell you that.”

The silence in the kitchen was too loud.

Jodi wondered if she could just walk away now. She’d done her duty as a friend. She’d warned them. But she needed to ask one more thing.

“Who was driving?” she said quietly. “When Emily was on the hood?”

Zack’s eyes looked between her and the rest of them. Paige shifted on her feet. Lucy stared back at her with cool eyes.

“We can’t tell you that—”

“It was me.”

Jodi’s body turned toward Julian, perched on the counter. His arms were crossed over his chest, and his mouth was tight.

“You don’t even have to ask,” he said. “You know it was me.”

She felt something sputter inside her chest, like an engine trying and failing to turn over.

Paige looked between Jodi and Julian, eyes quick and nervous, and Jodi reexamined Julian’s lazy posture and tilted head. Casual. Challenging.

“Look,” Lucy said, “I apologize if you feel I, personally, have been absent, but I’m spending every waking moment I have worrying about what happens after graduation. I’m sorry, but I don’t have time to coddle your feelings when a dead girl’s diary is about to send me to juvie for bludgeoning her with a soda bottle.”

Jodi’s eyes shifted away from Julian and focused on Lucy. “You got the details on your assault charge? What did it say?”

Zack jerked out of his awkward stupor. “Don’t—”

“Jodi, that’s the issue.” Lucy shook her head. “I can’t talk about the biggest thing going on in my life with you. Not when you’re testifying.”

But that wasn’t what she was fixating on. “What about a bottle?”

There was a still silence, and then Paige whispered, “Go on. She’s gonna hear it from the legal team soon anyway.”

Lucy rubbed her face and seemed to deflate, curled over herself.

“According to Emily’s journal, last year I drove up on Emily walking home from the bus and hurled a bottle of Coke at her.”

“It’s assault with a deadly weapon,” Zack said.

“Which I don’t get. Can you really kill a person with a soda?”

“If it’s a full bottle, I guess…”

But Jodi wasn’t listening. The sun flickering on the pool water snatched her gaze, like a phantom beckoning her to come closer.

“You can tell me anything.” Emily’s eyes were unblinking.

“There’s nothing to say. It was an accident.” Jodi stuffed her books in her backpack, ready to bolt.

“It’s a really big bruise. Jodi, if you don’t tell me that you’re okay, I’m going to have to talk to a guidance counselor about it.”

Jodi stared down at her, seated at the library table and twisting her fingers around each other. “Are you fucking insane?” she hissed. “Maybe I don’t feel comfortable talking to you about it.”