The Unfortunate Side Effects of Heartbreak and Magic(76)

And while a dark, cinnamon-scented wind picked up and made the oak tree tap, tap, tap on the window, Florence began her story.

“I fell for Julian as a teenager. I was wild, I’m sure mother told you.” She laughed but there was an edge of sorrow to it. “I only wanted trouble and freedom and, most of all, to rid myself of my damned magic. I wanted to see who I was apart from this, this legacy that had been heaped on my shoulders.”

Sadie watched Seth’s face as he drank in every word, knowing he found in their mother a kindred spirit.

“Looking back, I realize I wanted to separate myself from the family to find myself. But back then, I told myself I was in love. And Julian was my ticket out.

“By the time I realized I was lying to myself, I tried to leave him, but something always compelled me back. That’s when he told me about the ritual to rid me of my magic.” Sadie’s skin crawled as though rubbed all over with wood nettle. “Of course, it was really to make me fertile. I was stupid to believe him,” Florence said simply. “I blame myself. I should have never tried to run away from who I was. What I was. I was too scared and stubborn to ask for help. And then I was pregnant.

“I didn’t want to leave you. But you have to understand: I was physically unable to stay. The spell Gigi cast … I was forced away. Fate pushed me until I was outside the city limits. Even then, I stayed as long as I could. I hovered in the next town over, but catastrophe started to strike. Natural disasters appeared out of nowhere, following no scientific pattern. And then people started dying. It was my fault—I knew it was. And so I left. I didn’t want any more blood on my hands. After that I could never stay long in one place.”

Florence shared how she’d traveled with a carnival for a while, setting up a booth as a tarot and palm reader, dispensing fortunes and warnings like soup to the starving. She told them how she wept every night, and when she’d tried to send letters or postcards or gifts, the very envelopes and packages had burst into flame, leaving an ash that smelled of self-hatred and regret.

“I was so angry, I thought I’d use my magic to become what nature demanded I must never be: an amplifier. I learned everything I could about who we are, what we can do. I delved into the deepest, darkest parts of myself, hoping that by some miracle I could find my way back to you. But miracles are for fools who don’t believe in fate.”

Florence told them how she’d been at rock bottom, wondering what her damnation would be if she were to take her own life, when in reality she knew she never could. Never would. Not without seeing Sadie and Seth again. And that’s when she decided maybe she could have a second chance.

She performed a ritual, fully believing it wouldn’t work. She found a man with no name, and two months later was shocked to find out she was pregnant with Sage.

“It was my chance to start over. To try again. To do it right this time. Because even though the curse isn’t my fault, even though I’m not the one who killed Julian, it was my fault. It was all my fault.” She broke down then, covering her face with her hands, trying to keep her sobs quiet so as not to wake her second-chance daughter upstairs.

“And now Mom is dead. She sacrificed everything for me. For my kids. And I couldn’t even hold her hand at the end.”

“She knew,” Anne reassured her. “I promise. She always knew.”

“I’m more grateful to her for raising you than you’ll ever know,” Florence added, turning to the twins. “I know she did a better job than I ever could have. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry I fell in love with the wrong man.”

Her apologies piled up, a burning mess scattered on the floor between them, charring the wood until the smell of cherries burned Sadie’s nose. Seth, by his own measure, drank in every word of her story. In his eyes, there was nothing to forgive, there was only time lost that he could finally attempt to regain. Sadie’s heart, on the other hand, was like the pile of apologies glowing amber on the floor.

The longer Florence spoke, the more Sadie’s teeth set on edge. Every word clawed its way in, establishing roots. Her mother wanted to be a family: that much was clear, though Sadie doubted she’d ever say it. But what was family other than blood? It was time and love and memories. It was arguments and forgiveness and compromise. Her thoughts drifted unwillingly toward Jake.

“I know mom tied one of your lives to her own,” she added, grabbing Seth’s hand across the table. “I know her death unleashed all kinds of things. I promise, I swear, I’ll help you figure it out. If that’s what you want,” she added, looking to Sadie this time.

As Sadie watched her brother, the way he looked at their mother, the hunger in his eyes, she wondered if she was going to lose him all over again. She’d had him to herself their whole lives. And then he’d left. And now that he was back, their mother threatened to capture his heart.

“It doesn’t have to be like that, sugar,” she heard Gigi’s voice whisper in her ear. “There’s always enough love to go around. You’ve learned to be stingy with it because of your curse. But it’s time to let that go.”

“Do you know which one of us is the conduit?” Sadie asked.

“I don’t. But Sage can help us with that tomorrow. We’ll figure something out. I promise.” Florence smiled reassuringly. “Now, there’s nothing more we can do tonight. So, it’s time for everyone to tell me what I’ve missed.”