The Unfortunate Side Effects of Heartbreak and Magic(83)

Happier than she thought she’d ever be capable of being again, Sadie couldn’t help but laugh when Aunt Anne had Uncle Steven whistle through his teeth to get everyone’s attention.

“Time for dinner prep,” she said loudly. “All kids, outside. And that includes the menfolk! Sadie, get Gigi’s instructions. John, when Gail gets here, help her carry the groceries in.”

There was silence for a moment before everyone scrambled, and then the women marched to the kitchen like they were going to battle.

Aunt Anne soaked tomatoes and mozzarella in basil-infused olive oil and added a squeeze of lemon juice. Ayana baked three loaves of rosemary bread, and Sadie turned one of them into croutons and crostinis, a safe enough task with Sage’s help. The message was clear in every dish. Love, remembrance without bitterness or sorrow, a celebration of life and coming together. Welcome. Acceptance. Sadie settled into the rhythm. The clatter and clanking of dishes and spoons scraping pots, all the smells dancing into a marriage of sweet and spice. Fingers dipped into sauces, and ingredients were passed wordlessly when they were needed.

Kay and Tava came knocking not long after, with flowers and hugs and more tears. The kitchen grew noisier, and Sadie opened the windows to carry away some of the racket, the breeze blowing through feeling more like spring than fall. Uncle Brian and Aunt Suzy arrived, and so did Raquel.

“Where is she?” her best friend whispered as she squeezed her tight.

“With Seth. Getting the ashes.”

What a strange sentence, she thought.

“What’s she like?” Raquel demanded.

Sadie thought how to answer and couldn’t come up with one.

“You’ll have to wait and see, I guess.”

“You trollop.”

“Takes one to know one.”

“Wow. Truly. How do you come up with such clever comebacks?”

Sadie stuck her tongue out at Raquel.

“How’s Seth?”

“Stronger than me.”

“You know, I spent my whole life trying to break my parents’ rules. I was so different than they were. I wanted to know it was okay to be me. Even if I turned out different from how they wanted or expected me to be. One day I came over after a huge fight with them. You weren’t home yet. Out harvesting wild yams or something, probably. But Seth was here, and he could tell I was upset. I’d been crying. He was about to go postal on someone, thinking they’d hurt me. So I told him what was really wrong. And you know what he told me?”

“To stop complaining?”

“No.” Raquel laughed. “He said he knew exactly how I felt. That ever since you two were little, you’d been you. You knew who you were. And he still had no idea who he was.”

Sadie swallowed hard.

“I don’t think he’s stronger than you,” Raquel added. “I think he tries to be strong for you.”




When Seth and Florence came back, both of their eyes were rimmed in red, and Sadie could barely stand to look at the box her brother carried. It was deep brown with a gold plaque and a metal clasp. Gigi returned to dust. But the sorrow was offset by laughter and togetherness and a soft remembrance. A strange and delicate sort of dance that both filled and emptied her.

When Florence entered, Raquel went stock-still where she sat at the kitchen bar, her eyes ping-ponging back and forth between the twins and their mother.

“Mom, this is Raquel,” Seth said. “This is Florence,” he added.

“Well, goodness, nice to meet you,” Raquel said, wrapping her arms around Sage’s shoulders as the girl went up to hug her mother. “How darling,” she added, looking between them.

“What do you mean?” Sadie asked, brows furrowed.

“How long have you and my son been in love?” Florence asked Raquel, whose face instantly paled.

“What?” Sadie choked out a laugh.

“I—we … uh,” Seth started, but Raquel waved her hand to shut him up.

“Oh boy. Oh, I see.” Florence frowned. “Whoopsie.” She laughed uncomfortably. “I’m so sorry.”

“What the hell is she talking about?” Sadie demanded, turning to Raquel.

“We were going to tell you,” Raquel said. “It just didn’t seem like the right time. We didn’t want to upset you,” she said.

“Correction,” Seth countered. “She didn’t want to upset you. I said you’d be pissed no matter what.”

“I don’t get it,” Sadie said stupidly. “You, the two of you, are together?” The thought didn’t compute. “And you kept it from me? How long?” she demanded. Her ears were hot, her throat tight, and her chest was breaking out in hives. How many rugs did she have under her that could still be pulled out?

“Not long,” Raquel squeaked out.

“Since before I left.” Seth rolled his eyes.

“Shut up, Seth,” Raquel snapped. “We’d talked before he left, but nothing was certain until he returned. Please don’t be mad,” she added to Sadie. “Are you mad?”

“I’m not. I’m not mad that you’re together,” she said, and realized she meant it.

“I’m sorry,” Florence said again. “Me and my stupid mouth. I just thought, the way you two are”—she gestured to the twins—“I didn’t think you’d have secrets.”