This Book Made Me Think of You(10)

“But it’s been over six months…I could help you? It might be easier if we do it together?” Harper has always loved a project. Tilly just wishes she wasn’t it.

“Thanks for the offer, and I’ll let you know if I change my mind,” Tilly says firmly. “Now tell me, where are you off to next?”

Tilly listens as Harper tells her about a trip to Oslo to review a new restaurant for a feature on the best restaurants in Europe. When Harper disappears to the bathroom, Tilly lets herself sink lower into the sofa, her eyes drifting up to the blue urn on the bookshelf.

“I know I probably should have sorted things by now. But it’s hard to know where to start. Hey, we talked about going to Oslo, didn’t we? And Paris, of course. I really wish we’d gone to Paris…”

“Who are you talking to?”

Tilly freezes as Harper reappears in the doorway, looking at her strangely.

“No one.” But they both know she’s lying. And even though Harper doesn’t say the words out loud, Tilly can tell from her expression exactly what she wants to say. It’s time for you to move on.

Harper glances at the time on her phone. “It’s still early, shall we go to the pub? Or catch a late-night film? Or there’s this new cocktail bar I’ve been meaning to try that sounds amazing…”

“I don’t think so.”

“It might do you good to get out. Have some fun.”

Tilly doesn’t say that by her recent standards, this evening has been fun. She talked with another human and hasn’t touched her work laptop or cried once since Harper arrived. But she is pretty sure Harper has a different definition of fun.

Her sister glances at her phone again. “Well, some friends have just messaged asking me to come join them at a party actually, so…” Her face lights up with the promise of a night of laughter and new memories made.

“Go, have a great time,” Tilly says, pecking her sister on the cheek and feeling a lot older than the two years that’s really between them.



* * *



—

After Harper has left, the silence in the flat is broken by the sound of Tilly’s phone ringing. Ellen Carter. She contemplates answering, but before she can make up her mind, it goes to voicemail.

“Hi, Tilly, it’s Ellen. I’m just checking in. I hear it’s been rainy there. I don’t know how you cope with all the gray in London. It makes me depressed just thinking of it! The grandkids are just arriving so I should go. Everyone says hello. Bye for now.”

Tilly sits in the echo of the voice that she has always thought of as the female version of Joe’s. The first time she’d heard it in person was when she went to meet Joe’s parents, Ellen and Hank, in Connecticut, in the autumn just a couple of months after they’d started dating. It would have felt quick by her previous relationship timelines, but Joe had already planned the trip, saying he always tried to go back in the fall because it’s when he missed home the most. When he invited her, it felt natural to say yes; they’d spent most days together since meeting in the Foyles bookshop and since their first official date, when Joe took her to the British Library followed by a nearby pub.

Tilly thought the trip had gone well. Joe’s parents welcomed her warmly, and she made a point of complimenting everything—the food, Joe’s childhood home, which was bigger and more beautiful than he’d let on, and the neighborhood, which was dotted with large wooden houses and trees in full autumn splendor.

But on the last night, when Joe’s family thought Tilly was in the shower, she caught the sound of Ellen’s voice downstairs in the living room.

“Tilly seems very sweet, but are you sure she’s right for you?”

Tilly had come out in search of a towel and paused on the landing, holding her breath.

“What do you mean?” came Joe’s voice in reply, and Tilly can still remember how firm he’d sounded. “She’s perfect.”

“For someone, maybe. But I never imagined you with someone so…bookish. She doesn’t seem very outdoorsy—none of the shoes she brought were remotely appropriate for the hikes we planned. I’m just not really sure what the two of you have in common.”

“It doesn’t matter that we have different interests. I love that she’s different from me. I love everything about her.”

“You know we only want you to be happy, honey. I just can’t help but think that maybe you’d be happier longer term with someone who’s a better fit for you. Didn’t you think it was odd that she sat on the side reading a book at our family football game yesterday? Our annual game is a tradition.”

“She’s never played football before. And she’s not really a sports person.”

“Neither am I. But I join in every year, don’t I? Because we Carters are joiners. You’re a joiner, you always have been. But Tilly seems more like someone who watches life from the sidelines rather than someone who jumps in. I never imagined you with someone like that.”

Tilly hadn’t heard what Joe had said next, if anything, because instead he’d stormed out of the room. Ellen was all smiles for the rest of the trip, hugging Tilly just as tightly as they said goodbye. But Tilly couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d overheard. Especially because she worried there was some truth to Ellen’s words. She was happier curled up with a book than doing pretty much anything else. Did Joe deserve someone more adventurous and extroverted?