This Book Made Me Think of You(54)
Alfie closes the large leather-bound book he’d been looking at, his eyes fixed on Tilly, eyebrows dipping in concern.
“Oh no, I’m sorry. What happened?”
“It turns out she made a secret dating profile and has been trying to set me up with someone behind my back.”
“Oh wow, that’s…”
“Crazy?” Tilly finishes for him. “Especially after I’ve told her so many times that I’m not ready to date.”
Alfie coughs, a hand rising to his jaw. “Of course. So, what do you think you’re going to do?”
“Nothing for now. I’m off to America next weekend for Joe’s birthday. I can’t deal with everything with Harper on top of that.”
“How are you feeling about seeing your in-laws again?”
“Nervous. My mother-in-law says she wants to talk, but if it’s just to remind me how wrong she always thought I was for her son, then I’m not sure I want to hear it. But I’ve booked a few days in New York because it seemed silly to go all the way there and not go to New York. I’m looking forward to that. I’ll just have to get through the weekend with Joe’s family first…”
As she’d booked the hotel in New York, she’d experienced a small flash of anxiety. There is still a healthy amount in her bank account, but she isn’t used to spending money without making it. Before too long she is going to have to make some big decisions.
“I hear there are some wonderful bookshops in New York. I’ve never been.”
“Joe and I went a few times together. It’s an amazing place. But this time I don’t feel the need to go to the big tourist places. I plan on eating and reading my way around the city.”
“That sounds perfect.”
“Anyway.” She lets out a breath. “It’s nice having that to look forward to, what with everything going on with Harper and the thought of seeing my in-laws again. And I’m hoping you have a book for me? I need something to read to take my mind off things.”
“Absolutely, let me just get it for you.”
He hands her this month’s small parcel, and Tilly takes it gratefully, unable to stop herself from thinking as she does: just four more books…
* * *
—
“I can’t believe it,” Tilly bursts out when she opens August’s book in the quiet of her living room. “What are the chances?”
Sitting in her lap is a hardback book with a cover showing a simple black-and-white line drawing of a woman walking a dog in front of a city skyline. Letter from New York, reads the title, by Helene Hanff.
Dear Tilly,
Do you remember our first trip to New York when we stopped off on the way to meet my parents for the first time? It was your first time in the city, and I had so much fun showing you the sights. Cycling together in Central Park, walking the High Line, getting lost in the Met. And I thought I was never going to get you out of the Strand bookstore. When I told you the store housed 18 miles of books I didn’t think you’d take it upon yourself to walk up and down every single one. But what should I have expected really?
This book reminded me of that trip. It was on that trip that I decided I would one day ask you to marry me. I can remember the exact moment, actually. We were at the top of the Empire State Building because you insisted on going even though I told you that Rockefeller Center was better. You said you couldn’t come to New York and not go up the Empire State Building. When we got to the top your eyes got so wide at the view and it made me realize that it was pretty cool, to be at the top of one of the most famous buildings in the world with you. You made me see the place in a new way. Your excitement made me excited, about that moment and about our future.
I wonder if you will ever go back to New York now. If you do find yourself there, I know my parents would love to see you. I know it might not have always felt that way at times, but they are your family too. And they love you.
If you do see them, can you do something for me? Will you give my mom a hug from me? And my dad too.
Thank you for agreeing to be my wife. Thank you for making our life together an adventure.
I love you,
Joe x
Tilly hugs the book and the letter to her chest, pain, love, and regret swirling like a storm inside her. Her eyes flick to the blue urn on the bookshelf, lingering there.
Thirty-Five
The house is exactly how Tilly remembers it. The sage, wood-clad building faces the lake, a sprawling garden tumbling down to the dock where the ancient family boat is moored. The land is surrounded by trees, the vivid green reflected in the water that buzzes with mayflies in the warm afternoon sun.
Ellen and Hank are waiting for her on the front step when Tilly arrives, her having refused the offer of being collected at the airport. An airport reunion felt like too much pressure, especially as she’d stumbled off the plane bleary-eyed, having found the journey harder than she’d imagined. When she viewed Connecticut through the plane window, she’d broken down, the stranger sitting next to her offering her tissues and a slug of gin.
She has a moment to gather herself as she pays the driver and takes hold of her suitcase. Joe’s parents look older, but it doesn’t surprise Tilly. She feels older too. Ellen is dressed in denim Bermuda shorts and a white cheesecloth top, her gray hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, her lips set in a tight smile. Hank shuffles beside her in his usual cargo shorts and T-shirt, his hair flecked with more white than Tilly remembered.