This Could Be Us (Skyland, #2)(68)

I walk over to a corner occupied by a leather recliner.

“I could make this my reading corner.” I squee and wiggle my fingers. “Almost forgot. We have our first book club pick. It’s All About Love by bell hooks. I’ll be meeting in person with a few friends to discuss, but I’ll come on here to do a live discussion with you guys who read along too.”

I walk over to my phone so I can read the comments in real time, a smile blooming on my face.

“I feel you, 492GirlGetAGrip. I haven’t read as much lately as I’ve wanted to either, so this is a perfect opportunity for us both.”

I squint at the comments, making sure I’m reading the next one right.

“ComeHithah2004 says, ‘we love a reading-ass bitch.’ Girl, you always crack me up.” I grin and shake my head, moving on to the next comment. “ViralVixin says, ‘I went to dinner by myself this week and had a great time.’”

I lift my arms like it’s a touchdown. “That’s incredible! Love that for you!”

Four more commenters say they went on solo dates this week.

“This is great. After my solo anniversary date, I decided I’ll take myself out once a week. You wanna join me?”

So many comment “Yes” and “For sure” and “I’m in” that I lose count. Someone comments “#datingmyselfchallenge.”

“Oh, I love that!” I say. “Hashtag datingmyselfchallenge. Let’s do it. And All About Love is the perfect book for us to start. It’s about loving yourself and healing yourself. At least that’s what I think it’s about. I’m gonna read some tonight. We’ll find out together, huh?”

I grab my safety goggles and turn up the music on my pill, the wireless speaker blasting Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way.”

“Any BSB Army out there?” I ask, chuckling as I check my table saw. “I’mma ride this playlist till I’m done in here. I want to get some of this finished before I have to start dinner. It’s Taco Tuesday. The link to a supersimple recipe that my girls love is in my bio. I substitute meatless beef for the vegetarian in my bunch. I swear you won’t be able to tell the difference.”

I pull my goggles down.

“This she shed is on my Me List,” I tell them, “which is a list of things I’m doing solely for my enjoyment. Not about my job or my kids or my friends or my family. Just for me.”

I glance at the phone to check the comments again.

“ComeHithah2004, did you say, ‘add a pole’?” I laugh. “Like for pole dancing?”

I glance over to the space where Edward’s pool table sat before I butchered it with my machete.

“Pole dancing, huh? Now there’s a thought.” I turn to the camera and give them a little half-hearted, full-assed twerk. “I’ll think about it.”


Later that night, once the girls and I have eaten our tacos, finished homework, cleaned the kitchen, prepped lunches, and made sure uniforms are pressed and ready for tomorrow, I finally get to settle down in bed with my book in a moment of pure silence.

Until my phone dings with a text.

“I meant to mute you,” I mutter, but can’t resist checking to see who it is. I’m halfway to convincing myself I don’t want it to be Judah. My lady parts and heart parts can calm down. They don’t get a vote in the Judah situation. This is a dictatorship.

It’s not Judah.


Yasmen: Hey! Have you guys gotten to chapter four?




Hendrix: I haven’t even started. You know I’m out here in LA working. I thought you weren’t gonna pressure us???? What happened to reading at your own pace?




Yasmen: LOL! Girl, ain’t nobody pressuring you. There’s just something cool in that chapter and I wondered if you’d read it yet.




Me: Literally in bed now starting that chapter! Will I know it when I see it???




Yasmen: Oh, yeah. You will for sure, Sol.




Hendrix: I’ll start on the flight home. Love you, bitches.




Yasmen: Travel safe. Love.




Me: Love



I prop the book on my knees, which are pulled up under my cloud-esque duvet. It’s such a great chapter on self-love and fragile self-esteem and breaking from old patterns. My hands can’t keep up with my heart while I try to highlight all the truths dotted throughout these pages. It’s like a treasure map I’ve found at exactly the right time. bell hooks is reaching through the years to tell me I should take responsibility in all areas of my life, to believe I have the capacity to reinvent my life and shape the future around my well-being. There’s even a whole section on satisfied homemakers and the joy of self-determination and being your own boss. Each word is like a punch to the chest and a pat on the back. I’m encouraged and provoked at every turn. So much of it connects to my own life deeply that I consider stopping for the night to fully process all I’ve read.

“I’m still not sure what Yasmen thought was so special for me,” I tell my empty bedroom.

I decide to read a little more to finish the chapter. I’m nodding when she discusses creating domestic bliss, a household where love can flourish.

“Spot on,” I say, reaching for a handful of the roasted almonds I keep by my bed for the night growls. My hand stills midreach when I read the next line. hooks calls her house in the country a sanctuary and refers to it as “soledad hermosa.”