This Immortal Heart: A Novel of Aphrodite(75)

I pull back, looking up at his face in surprise. “Do you mean that?”

He slides his hand through my hair, letting it fall between his fingers. “It’s not that I don’t want a war.” His voice lowers. “It’s not that I don’t want to march on Olympus and make Zeus suffer for this too. But I won’t, unless that’s what you want too.”

“So, you’ll just…accept it?” I don’t believe him.

“Accept what?”

“The marriage.”

His arms tense around me, and I take a step backward.

“You do know, don’t you?” I ask. “Eris told you that Hephaestus let Hera go, that he’s the winner?”

“I do,” Ares says. His arms fall to his sides, and the light quenches in his eyes, leaving them wary. “But surely you aren’t going to marry him?”

“I don’t know what to say.” I cross my arms over my chest, holding myself. There is a dreadful shaking in my center, the first tremors of what I fear is to come. Cold flutters across my skin, not just the icy air of these grim mountains, but the inkling of a disaster greater than I anticipated.

Ares reaches for my hands, gently but firmly pulling them away from my body, holding them in his. “Aphrodite,” he says. “I know the punishment for oath-breakers is exile. But I’ll go with you. We’ll leave Olympus together. We’ll take the Horae with us, the Graces too, if you’re afraid of what Zeus will do to them when we’re gone.”

I wrest my fingers free from his grip. “You know we can’t leave. If you come with me, Zeus will exile you too. You’ll lose everything. We both will.”

“No,” he says. “We won’t lose each other.” His fingers curl around empty space. “You can’t marry Hephaestus.”

“I can’t not marry Hephaestus.”

“You don’t mean that,” he says.

“But I do! I swore on the Styx.” I shake my head, disbelieving. “I can’t break the oath. It was only you, Ares, who was arrogant enough to think I could, and that was only if you’d been the winner.”

He stares at me. “It was you who was arrogant enough to make the oath in the first place.”

“It was,” I admit. “I was sure that Hephaestus would do what I asked, and that I’d silence Zeus on the subject of marriage once and for all. I was wrong.”

“Then we’ll fight,” he says, decisive. “If you want to stay, I’ll go to war against Zeus, and Styx as well if I need to. I’ll bring him down, even if it means allying with Hera. Olympus can be hers, or yours. You can have your freedom that way.”

“And what if Zeus wins?” I ask.

His hands rest on my shoulders. “We run or we fight. Those are our choices.”

“I thought about fighting,” I say. “My brothers, the Giants, challenged the gods. My sisters, the Furies, let anger consume them so that it’s all they feel.” I take a deep breath. “I won’t make that mistake. I wanted to, when I went to Hephaestus, but now I see there’s another choice. One that takes more strength.”

“More strength than war?” He’s disbelieving.

“Yes. I can keep the peace.”

“Aphrodite—”

“I can keep the oath and my power. It’s better than fleeing into exile or destroying Olympus in war. Yes, it means Zeus gets what he wants. It’s a humiliation, but it’s one I’ll get over.”

He’s silent for a long moment.

“But I won’t.”

“What do you mean?” I whisper.

“It was always you who held back,” he says. Bitterness bleeds into his words. “You always insisted what we have together isn’t lasting. It was you who told me that you were free to take other lovers.” He drags a hand through his hair. “I didn’t ask anything different of you, I never would. I never wanted to control you. I never pretended I could change you, or that I’d want to.”

“But I never did take any other lovers,” I protest. “I know what I said, but I never acted on it.”

“You never acted on it until now,” he bites out. “Now you’ve agreed to marry someone else.”

My voice rises in frustration. “Believe me, this wasn’t the outcome I wanted.”

His eyes are defiant with the challenge. “You’re a powerful goddess, more ancient than Zeus. You don’t have to do as he says.”

“We all do.”

“We don’t. This is your choice,” he says. “You can stand up to Zeus and I’ll be with you no matter what happens.” His eyes flicker over me. “But instead you choose to marry my brother and lose me.”

I feel my heart collapse in my chest, leaving a hollow in its place. A black void yawning open, its inexorable pull sucking me into the depths.

“If I lose you,” I say, my voice shaking, “that’s your choice. Not mine.”

“You want me to stay for my brother’s wife?” he asks.

“No. I want you to stay for me.” I can hear the edge of desperation in my words. “You’ve hardly regarded him as your brother before; why would that matter now? Is this just about your pride?”