When She Loves (The Fallen, #4)(78)

I let out a broken gasp. Yes, this is good. This is easy. Him giving me pleasure, and me accepting all that he’s willing to give.

What if that’s all he’ll ever give? Is it enough? Forever?

I give my head a hard shake, ignoring the pinch from the twigs poking against my scalp.

“Hold your skirt. I need both hands.”

I clutch onto the fabric, and he spreads my legs apart a few inches farther, giving himself better access. He pulls down my panties and shoves them into the back pocket of his slacks.

He licks my opening and then moves back up to my clit. I shudder when he sucks it into his mouth, moan when he swirls his tongue. Heat blankets my body. I slide my fingers into his hair and hold on to him as he brings me closer and closer to the edge.

Suddenly, his mouth is gone. He pulls me down to the grass, his movements harried, desperate. His face appears above me, wet with my juices.

“Why did you stop?” I pant.

“I need to be inside you,” he grunts, undoing his tie and pulling it off his neck. He balls it up and stuffs it into my mouth. I make a muffled sound.

“Shhh. I don’t want our guests to hear your screams.”

The only warning I get is the clank from him undoing his belt buckle, and then he shoves into me with one hard stroke. A scream tears its way out of my throat, muffled by his tie. My eyes roll to the back of my head. I’m so full, so stretched.

“You okay?” he asks, his chest rising and falling with harsh breaths.

I press my heels into his thighs, urging him to move. I’m right on the edge again, my orgasm within reach. He doesn’t need more encouragement. He starts thrusting, soon settling into a relentless rhythm against my G-spot.

So damn good. My eyelids flutter. He pulls the neck of my dress down and wraps his mouth around my nipple, tugging on it with his teeth. “You going to come hard for me, tesoro? You better be quick. Someone might wander down to the garden. You know I’d have to kill anyone who saw my birthday girl getting railed.”

I sob against the wave of pleasure that crashes into me. My climax bursts, every nerve ending firing, every bit of oxygen removed from my lungs.

His cock slips in and out a few more times before he groans and spills inside of me. “Fuck.”

I clutch onto him. Above us, the sky is full of twinkling stars, and one of them cuts an arc through the darkness.

He removes his tie from my mouth and stares down at me. His breaths come out as pants. His blue eyes shimmer with something, something he can’t voice, something he may not even understand.

I sit up and fix my clothing into place. He plucks a leaf out of my hair and kisses my forehead. “I made a mess out of you.”

I laugh softly. “Yeah.” In more ways than one.

This was meant to be a distraction, but the three words are right there again, ready to spill out. Something holds me back. Maybe it’s the fact that he can look at me like that, like I’m the most precious thing in the world, while keeping so much from me.

Why hasn’t he ever confided in me about the horrors he’s lived through?

Doesn’t he trust me?

Doesn’t he see by now how far I’ve fallen for him?





The morning after the party, I wake up hungover. It’s worth it, because last night. Was. A. Blast.

Around ten, after Luca brought out my cake, most of the guests I didn’t know very well left, and then the real party started. Someone brought out a karaoke machine I didn’t know we owned, and everyone sang me “Happy Birthday.” We did rounds of shots. I’m pretty sure there’s a video of Vale and me dancing on a table. And most importantly, all of our men somehow managed not to kill each other. By the end of the night, Gemma convinced Ras to put on one of the themed shirts I bought, and he drunkenly told everyone he loved the little parrots on it. I grin at the memory and snuggle up against Rafaele.

His body shifts. “You awake?” Rafaele didn’t seem that drunk last night, but his voice still has a rasp to it.

I turn my face up to him. “Yeah.”

He looks tired. “I just got a call. There’s something I need to take care of.” He gazes down at me and brushes his fingertips over my lips. “I’m sorry. I wish I could stay in bed with you all day.”

A butterfly appears inside my stomach. Then I remember how he cut me off last night, and the butterfly disappears. He wouldn’t let me tell him that I love him. Why?

Because he doesn’t feel the same, and he doesn’t want you to ruin everything.

My throat tightens. Maybe he needs more time. His mom told me to be patient.

I force a smile. “Don’t apologize for being a good boss. I’ll see you tonight.”

After Rafaele leaves, I have breakfast in bed and watch a rom-com for a bit before I finally decide to get my ass up. I told Loretta I’ll be in today since we’re receiving a big shipment of fabrics, and she’ll need help doing inventory. And Gemma, Mari, Vale, and I are meeting for a happy hour at a restaurant nearby. I want to take full advantage of having them here, and I also desperately need some advice.

A half hour later, I step inside the shop. The bell we recently installed rings above my head. “Loretta?” I call out. “It’s me.”

She comes out of the bathroom looking a little green. “No need to shout.”

I grin. “You okay?” When Rafaele dragged me upstairs, she was singing karaoke in the living room while hanging off Nero’s arm.