Wildfire (Maple Hills, #2)(98)
“I’m fucking obsessed with you,” I groan, sinking into her slowly. “Obsessed.”
“Show me.”
It’s quick and hard. I slam into her and she pushes back. My hands pin hers to the bottom of her back, yellow material of the dress I love so much entangled in my grip. I watch her face twist with pleasure as she moans my name loudly.
“Harder.”
“Can you take it?”
“Yeah, please, Russ. Go harder.” My grip on her tightens, her nails dig into my palm as her back arches even more to take me. Her mouth hangs open as her eyes screw shut and I can feel her begin to tighten. “Please, don’t stop.”
“Fuck, Rory.” Stanley Cup winners. Name some Stanley Cup winners. “I’m gonna—”
Aurora’s cry interrupts me and her entire body tightening and shaking tips me over the edge. I come so hard I’m struggling to stay standing, but she’s too busy writhing beneath my hands to notice.
I let go of her hands, gently leaning over her to kiss between her shoulder blades, then beneath her ear and finally her cheek. Her eyes finally open again. “Told you I could take it.”
She’s unreal. “Well done, champ.” I’m teasing her, but she holds up a wobbly hand, indicating for me to high five her. “We’re really good at this, aren’t we?”
“I’d argue we’re the best at it,” I say, pulling out gently.
She hums thoughtfully. “I’d argue that too.”
By the time I’m heading back to my seat, I know I’ve got a smug grin on my face. It might be a permanent fixture because I can’t imagine ever not being this pleased with myself.
“I feel like I don’t tell you I hate you enough,” Xander says to me when I sit back down.
“I’m going to miss you as well, buddy.”
Tonight is our last night all together and I can’t believe how quickly time has gone. We’ll be helping the kids leave tomorrow, then spending the rest of the day putting all the equipment and furniture away, before the rest of us leave on Sunday.
After much deliberation, Aurora finally decided she is still going to go to her dad’s wedding when she leaves here. I’ve been listening to her go back and forth repeatedly, but she says she’s finally decided.
When she told me everything her mom said, it was all still so raw to her and she was explaining to me how much lighter she felt finally understanding that it isn’t something she’s done wrong. She was so emotional, the relief and the years of pain rolled into one, that I couldn’t bring myself to answer her questions fully.
I still feel guilty about downplaying why my dad showed up at camp. She is always a completely open book about all her thoughts and feelings and I held back the full truth. I told her he’d had a fight with my mom and he was trying to get me to help, which is only the tip of a very big iceberg.
She’s asked me to tell her everything multiple times. Always in the same way, nervously, with the promise of patience and understanding. When she asked on the day of Dad’s visit, the whole truth was on the tip of my tongue, but after hearing everything she’d had to shoulder from the phone call from her dad to her mom’s impromptu visit, I couldn’t put my problems on her.
I knew if I told her everything, she’d have spent all her energy trying to help me navigate my feelings, instead of concentrating on navigating her own. I will tell her eventually, but the more time passes since Dad’s visit, the more my willingness to share decreases. Every day I don’t get a cash app request, it feels a little less urgent and, when being honest with myself, I still don’t think I’m truly ready.
Aurora loves when I share. I love making Aurora happy. Wanting to give her what she wants because I’d give her everything if I could, is not the same as being ready.
I know one day I’ll feel comfortable enough to talk about all my dad’s issues with her. Now I’ve had time to process his visit, there’s a tiny shred of hope growing in me that he might be about to turn things around. I trust now that Aurora would never judge me, but it’s a lot to cope with, even as an outsider and I’d rather talk to her about it when I know what’s going to happen. If nothing’s going to change, I want to know that instead of being embarrassed when I share my hope and he lets me down.
My family is such a huge emotion burden and I just want to save her from that, especially after she’s worked so hard over the past couple of months.
She says, for her, this summer was about making choices for the right reasons and choosing to go to the wedding because she wants to be at an important family event is her right reason. It isn’t a kneejerk reaction, it isn’t derived from hurt feelings or bad choices, she wants to go.
If she decided she doesn’t want to go, she doesn’t have to, because she’s in control.
I can’t bring myself to remind her that one conversation with him had her spiralling, ready to pack up and leave. I want her to do the thing that makes her happy and she’s an adult who can make her own decisions, but I think that she’s going out of fear of closing the door on their relationship and not because she actually thinks their relationship is salvageable.
But, saying all of this would make me a hypocrite, so I tell her I’m proud of her and that I’ll be there for her, no matter what.