“It’s fine.” I wave my hands and shake my head. I’m aware that Femi is looking at me weirdly.
“Sooo,” he says, as though he’s walking on eggshells. “Are you seeing someone?”
I blink. Sorry, why the heck is he asking me this? Actually, I’ve known Femi for enough time to know the answer to this question. Femi is the nice guy. He’s simply asking because he wants to know whether I’m doing all right after he broke my heart three years ago. But if I tell him the truth, then what? To be honest, I’m not too bothered about how news of my terminal singleness will affect him. It’s my fragile ego that I’m concerned about.
“Yes, I am seeing someone,” I say, forcing a bright smile.
Femi looks relieved.
“Yinka, that’s fantastic. So where’s the lucky fella, eh?” He grins as he swivels around.
I purse my lips. Shit.
“Err, he’s at home,” I say finally. Best not to pick a random guy in the crowd. “He’s sick,” I say as an afterthought. “Very, very sick. Oh, not that sick,” I backtrack, reading their concerned brows. “Just, you know, man flu.”
“Aww, poor thing.” Latoya actually looks concerned. “Well, you’ll give him our love, won’t you?”
I smile and manage a shaky nod. I need to leave. Like right now.
“Anyway, it was nice seeing you,” I say at the exact moment Femi says, “So what’s his name?”
I blink. “His name . . . err, Alex. We’ve been together for, what, seven, eight, nine months. Yes, nine months sounds about right.” I swallow.
“Oh, nice.” Femi looks delighted. He must have forgotten that thing I do with my face when I lie.
“Actually, I should probably call him.” I pull out my phone and point at it. “You know, check he hasn’t died or anything.”
Femi says, “Yes, of course,” and as Latoya waves me a good-bye, he adds, “Good seeing you.”
I wish I could say the same, but I can’t, so I let out a strangled, “Hmm,” then walk away as fast as my wobbling ankles can carry me. I spot Rachel and pull her to one side.
“Femi’s here,” I hiss.
“Who?” Rachel clearly doesn’t register what I’m talking about. She’s rocking slightly and I can tell she’s a bit tipsy, as her glass is empty but she tips it back anyway.
“Femi. My ex-boyfriend, Femi.” I slap my hands to the sides of her head and rotate it.
Rachel gasps. “Shit! What the hell is he doing here?”
I fold my arms. “You tell me.” I’m aware that I sound very accusatory, but Rachel’s the host, so surely she knows who she invited. “Did you know that he was coming?” I hiss. “Did you, Rach? Did you?”
“No!” Rachel looks shocked. “Gavesh didn’t know either. He would have told me if he did.”
“Bruv! What you doing here?”
We turn our attention to see Gavesh with his hands on his head and looking just as shocked to see Femi, while Gavesh’s brother, Sanjeev, who is trailing behind, says, “You came!”
“See.” Rachel turns to me and cocks her head.
“Fine.” I glance away. “Rach, Femi’s engaged,” I croak miserably. “Like, actually engaged.”
“Shit, already?” Rachel screws her face, then mutters, “He didn’t waste no time.”
I frown. “What do you mean by that?”
Rachel blanches and covers her mouth.
“Wait. Hold up, hold up, hold up. Are you telling me that you knew that Femi had a girlfriend? You knew and you didn’t tell me? How long have you known?”
She tilts to the side, clearly drunk as she tries to count back the months. I stop her.
“How did you find out?”
At this, her answer comes quickly.
“Oh, through Instagram.”
Of course. God, I really should get an account.
“In my defense, it was Sanjeev’s Instagram.” She tips back her empty glass again and then frowns, disappointed. “But that was like, what, three months ago. Sanjeev said they had only just met.”
“What?” I raise a hand. “Why didn’t you tell me? So they’ve only been together for three months?”
For a moment, I have an out-of-body experience. Everything around me fades. “Two years,” I’m telling Femi. “Two years and yet you never felt as though I was the one.”
“You okay?” says Rachel, putting a hand on my shoulder.
Suddenly, we’re interrupted. “Who died?”
Nana. She gives Rachel a hug first, says, “Congrats, hun,” then hands her a bottle of Prosecco.
“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” says Rachel, sticking out her tongue.
Nana turns to me and frowns. She’s wearing a brightly patterned jumpsuit, big hoops, and all ten of her piercings on each ear.
“What happened to you?” she says. “You missed me?”
Rachel clears her throat. “Femi’s here.”
Unlike Rachel, Nana doesn’t need any further clarification. She swivels her head, then stops.
“Shabba,” she says, almost breathless, but then adds, “But that’s okay, hun, because you’re over him, right?”
“Nana, he’s engaged,” I say weakly. Nana’s mouth shrinks into a small “o.” She pulls me to her and squeezes my shoulder.
Rachel shoves the Prosecco under her armpit. “You should take a rain check.”
“Rain check?” I frown, and she nods. “But Rachel, it’s your engagement party.”
“So? By the time I wake up tomorrow, I won’t remember who came anyway”—she pulls the Prosecco from under her arm and waves it around—“because I’m getting turnt tonight!”
I don’t know how, but I smile. “Thank you, cuz.”
I give her a hug and Nana says, “I can come with you.”
I shake my head. “Thanks, but it’s okay.”
“I’m coming with you,” she insists.
“Please, Nana. I want to be on my own.”
I glance at Femi again and immediately wish that I hadn’t. With his arm resting on the curve of Latoya’s back, he pulls her into him. They kiss. It’s only a short kiss, but enough to make me turn on my heels. I elbow my way through the crowd and back into the building, not stopping until I’m in the lift again. Then I allow myself to cry. One fat tear rolling after the other, my heart breaking all over again.
The updated plan
It’s the middle of the night and I wake up to a pitch-black room, feeling numb. I reach under my pillow for my phone, squinting at the bright light as I unlock it and read the WhatsApp message from Nana.
NANA
Hey hun, hope you’re okay. If you want to talk, I’m here. And if you would prefer that I never mention Femi’s name ever again, then that’s fine. I’m here for you either way xx
Then my heart thuds. There’s a voice note from an unknown number.
Hey, Yinka, it’s Femi. Er, just wanted to say it was good seeing you earlier . . . Not gonna lie, I was kinda nervous about showing up tonight. I met up with Sanjeev the other day, and he told me about the engagement and the party, but I told him it was unlikely that I’d be able to come . . . but yeah, guess I changed my mind. Anyway, it’s a shame that we didn’t get to catch up properly. I was actually looking for you at one point, you know, but Rachel said you had to go. I’m guessing you had to check on your mister and his “man flu.” （Chuckles, then clears throat.） But yeah, I’m glad you’ve found someone. We both deserve to be happy . . . Well . . . I fly back to New York in two days, so I guess I’ll see you in July. Maybe you could introduce me to Alex at the wedding . . . Anyway, take care, Yinka—oh, and my bad, how’s your family doing? I know your mum hates me, but I hope she’s doing well. And work? Do you still work at Godfrey? Okay, this voice note is getting long. Bye now. Bye.