Since Kemi gave birth, I’ve only been round once. It’s not like I’m not happy for her. God, my heart swells when I see the way she looks at Chinedu. Even now, a little part of my chest aches because I may never have that. Years ago, when I was with Femi, I could dream of having a family and it didn’t seem far-fetched. But now, any time the thought comes to mind, it’s punishing. And this is what has kept me away. This and Mum always being at Kemi’s place. I’m not exactly in her good books right now, and the atmosphere is unbearable. I make a mental note to try to visit at a time when Mum’s not there.
“Hey, sis,” I say, feeling bad that I didn’t contact her first.
The sound of Chinedu wailing in the background is what I hear first, followed by Kemi. “Yinka, I’m stressed out. I feel like my brain is going to explode. Why won’t he stop crying?”
“Isn’t Mum with you?” I ask. I have absolutely no idea how to help her.
Kemi sighs. “Mum had to pop out.” Over Chinedu’s screams, I hear Uche say, “Here, give him to me.” Then I hear a whimper, but it’s not from the baby. Kemi sounds worn out.
“I knew it would be hard,” she’s now saying, her voice breaking. “But I never knew it would be this hard.”
As she pours her frustrations out—something about painful nipples?—I find myself contemplating whether or not to swipe right on the twenty-eight-year-old, animal-loving marketer, saying “hmm” and “bless you” hopefully in all the right places.
There’s something about Marcus’s easygoing smile that’s making me hover. Where have I seen him before?
Then it hits me.
Marcus is the guy who Brian showed me when Joanna set up her Tinder account. At the time, I thought he was cute, but Joanna wasn’t feeling him.
I ponder which way to swipe. Marcus is white. What would he make of my kinky hair and dark lips and chocolate skin?
“Sod it,” I say under my breath, and swipe right.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing. Carry on.”
As Kemi continues her rant, the screen changes within seconds. I can’t believe it. We’re a match!
I start to stand up, then freeze. Oh no. He’s just messaged me.
Feeling jittery, I sit back on the toilet seat again, my hand holding the towel rack for support.
Hey, Yinka. How’s it going?
My belly flips. I reply:
Hey, Marcus. I’m good. How are you?
There’s the unbearable wait of the three dots. Get a grip, girl, he’s a bloody stranger!
“Yinka!”
The abruptness of Kemi’s voice makes me jump.
“Sorry, I missed that. What was it that you were saying?”
She huffs. “Have you even been listening?”
“What? ‘Course, I have.” I take Kemi off speakerphone. Marcus will just have to wait. “You were ranting about your tender nipples, weren’t you?”
The frostiness of the silence confirms that I’m way off.
“You know what?” My little sister sounds proper huffy. “You’re obviously too busy, so let me not take any more of your time—”
“Kemi, wait . . . I was on the toilet.”
“Oh,” she says. “You should have said.”
I reach for the unraveled toilet roll and tear a piece. “Look, why don’t we do something this Saturday? I still haven’t forgotten the one-on-one time I promised before you gave birth. I know it’s a bit late, but I still really want to.”
“Well, it’s going to be me, you, plus Chinedu,” she reminds me.
“Even better. Hey, maybe I can bring some oils and foot scrubs. Give you a foot massage while you’re breastfeeding.”
Kemi laughs, and I sense that she hasn’t laughed properly in a good while. “I would love that,” she says softly.
“Perfect. I’ll be round yours, say . . . three?”
“Sounds good. Oh, and how’s the job search going? I’ve been meaning to ask you. Mum’s really worried. I’m sorry that she found out about the redundancy.”
I sigh. “It’s going okay. And don’t apologize; I only have myself to blame. Anyway, see you Saturday.”
I end the call and race back to Tinder. Marcus has replied.
I’m not one for small talk, so excuse my bluntness. We like the look of each other, if we were in a bar we’d exchange numbers, wouldn’t we?
He gives me his mobile number.
Add me on WhatsApp. PS—I’m legit lol
There’s a fluttering in my stomach. All of a sudden, I feel hot. Excited. And equally nervous. Why is Marcus so keen to talk? Oh no. I hope he doesn’t have a fetish.
I stare at the screen, unsure of what to do. But the longer I leave it, the more likely Marcus will think I’ve got cold feet. I’m just going to be open-minded and message him.
Well, as soon as I’ve washed my hands.
Jheeze, man. I was only asking
WEDNESDAY
Wednesday, 5 May at 6.34 p.m.
From: Matthews, Terry
To: Yinka Oladeji
Subject: Interested in working at Comperial
Dear Yinka,
Please accept my apologies in getting back to you so late.
Comperial is currently undergoing an internal restructure, so there will be quite a few job openings at various levels. It would be good to arrange a time to meet. I’m afraid I wasn’t able to see your CV attached. Can you resend?
Terry
Director of Management & Strategy
I stare at my receipt. Twenty quid. Not bad. Twenty quid hardly breaks the bank.
“Jo!” I pick up her call as I power walk out of the hair shop. I’ve just purchased a sixteen-inch, straight wig made out of synthetic hair （hence the price）。 Yes, I’m unemployed, and yes, I shouldn’t be spending money right now, but it was an emergency. Marcus wants to meet up this Saturday, and in my Tinder profile I have long hair. God knows how he’ll react if I show up rocking my short fro.
Speaking of Marcus, we talked on the phone for ages. I love him! Not love, love him . . . you know what I mean. Marcus is charming. Straight-talking. He doesn’t hold back on the compliments—which I love—and as well as being a nonsmoker and a Bryson Tiller fan, he’s also a Christian. （Bonus.）
I’m not going to lie: I wish Rachel and I were on good terms right now, as I know she would be super-excited for me. I did think about telling Nana, but considering her dislike of my plan, I doubt she wants to hear about my love life. Besides, she’s busy preparing for her fashion show. I don’t want disrupt her “creative energy.”
“It’s going to be a short date,” I tell Joanna, pressing my phone to my ear. I’m heading in the opposite direction to Peckham Rye station because I’m desperate for some plantain chips.
“How come?” Joanna asks.
“I promised my sister that I’ll pop over. Remember I mentioned she had the baby recently?”
“Then why not just meet up with Marcus in the evening?”
“And risk getting kidnapped? Hell no!”
Joanna laughs, then I hear a beeping sound. I look at my phone. It’s Nana.
“Jo, do you mind if I call you back later?” I end my call with Joanna and answer Nana’s.