“Good,” Joey says finally.
“Break some hearts, did you?” My dad grins. He didn’t notice Joey wavering. I wonder if he’s already had his nightcap, or two.
“Not really,” I say, relieved. He doesn’t know about Gage yet, which is good. But I know it’s coming. I just can’t figure out how to tell him first, head it off.
“Mom will be home soon. She went over to Nana’s to get some things for her. Why don’t you go in and say hello?”
Nana is in the downstairs guest room. There’s a walker next to the bed. She looks very tiny, tucked in among all the fluffy pillows.
Her face breaks out into a smile as soon as she sees my brother. “Joseph, my goodness. How handsome.” She’s half propped on pillows, her foot up on a pillow. “You must have been the prince of the dance.”
“Hey, Nana.” Joey bends down, hesitating slightly before giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Are you okay?”
“Oof, your breath.” She waves a hand in front of her face.
She frowns at us. “Your father has been trying for years to get me into this cell and now I guess he’s finally succeeded. At least for a bit. What’s a turned ankle? I raised six children. I’m tough as nails.”
She looks at me. “Why is your makeup smudged? I suppose it isn’t a dance without a little crying, but you need to fix your face, dear.”
I lean down to hug her. She smells like oatmeal cookies and liniment oil.
She pats the space next to her on the bed. “Sit with me. I’m lonely in here. I miss my house already. Who will get my mail? Feed that strange orange cat who comes around?”
“Mom will have someone do that, Nana,” I say. “She’ll take care of it.”
There’s a buzzing and Nana looks around, finally pulling her cell out of the pocket of her robe. “What is this? What’s happening? What does this mean? I don’t understand these things.” She holds the phone up to us.
Joey takes it from her. “It’s Maddie, Nana. She’s video calling you.”
“What? Where? Like television? This is a phone, dammit.”
“Let me show you,” Joey says.
I go into Nana’s bathroom, close the door. I look at my phone. It was buzzing nonstop in the car. There are tons of texts, all from Liza.
Uhhh
I don’t really know where to start
I started this night thinking you liked Jeremy I like Jeremy
And I was mad
And now all hell has broken loose
What happened???
Gage hurt his arm really bad
I don’t know what the injury is exactly
But somebody told somebody told somebody else That he was mumbling when the EMTs showed Something about you and the pool house And I gotta know, E, because it’s blowing up Were you hooking up with Gage Galt
Em
Talk to me
Oh, god. Everyone knows. Me and Gage.
All I wanted was to put on a dress and go to a dance and be normal for one night and now the world has gone to hell.
My thumbs hover over my phone.
I could tell her, but what would that help? It would just cause more trouble.
Can’t deal right now, I text.
There’s a sharp knock on the bathroom door. I open it to find my mother standing there, her phone gripped tightly in her hand.
“Why,” she says, “is Beth Galt ranting at me on my voice mail about a fight you and your brother had with Gage Galt at the dance?”
“Um.” That’s the only thing I can muster.
“Emory.” My mother gives me the Look. “You’re going to have to do a lot better than that.”
26
I’M PRESSED AGAINST THE wall in the hallway, outside my parents’ room, Fuzzy at my feet, listening to the sound of my parents’ voices through their door.
After Nana went to sleep, my dad found Joey in the kitchen, guzzling water. My father said, “We need to talk,” and Joey put down his glass and followed him into the den. When he came out he went straight up to Maddie’s room. When I passed by and whispered his name, he didn’t answer. He was buried under Maddie’s quilt. I went in and put my hand on his back, just in case, to make sure he was still breathing.
I always think of my dad living downstairs and my mother living upstairs, and to have them both in their bedroom at once now, on the same floor, after so long, is an eerie sensation.
Poor boy is hurt, I understand, but I don’t know how that’s our fault.
Beth Galt says Gage said something about turning Emory down for a dance and Joe got mad.
It’s hardly Joey’s fault if he defends his sister. The boy slipped and fell, that’s what Joey told me. Isn’t that what the other kids said?
It’s no one’s fault.
That woman is insufferable. My mother’s voice is bitter.
Abigail.
Half drunk all the time.
Abigail.
What is going on with Emory? I had no idea she liked Gage. She’s such a sweet girl! Why not just dance with her?
You know, it’s high school, unrequited love, hurt feelings everywhere, who knows.
Silence.
My father says, I always wondered what would have happened if we’d met here, in high school. If you hadn’t been away at boarding school. Would you have liked the Gage Galt of Heywood High or just me, the kid from Polish Town?
Pause.
Instead, I had to go halfway around the world, all the way to Japan, to fall in love with a girl from my own hometown. The girl who lived in the big, mysterious house on the hill. And now I live here.
Imagine that. My mother’s voice is softer now.
Imagine that.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard this story before, of them in Japan. I wonder what else is in my parents’ backstory that they haven’t told us?
My father comes out of their bedroom. He doesn’t notice me as he goes down the stairs and I wonder how many more years it will be until they are in the same room again, talking to each other instead of at each other.
I go to my room, close the door, peel off my gray dress, the black leggings, my cardigan with the small white buttons. Put everything away neatly. Put my pajamas on. Wash my bleary, stained face in my bathroom. Wipe it clean, like I wish I could wipe everything clean.
I pause before my bedroom window.
Gage’s house is dark, except for the porch light. They’re still at the hospital. If it wasn’t serious, they might be home by now. My stomach feels sick. This is not good.
On my bed, my phone is flashing.
Liza.
I know we haven’t talked in years, really talked, and I’m sorry about that, but really, it was my due to be a bitch, you know? Because I’m the one who got cut out of your life in the worst way. But I think this might turn out bad and if you need help, I can help you. Okay? I just want you to know that.
Thank you, I type, grateful. I put the phone down beside me on the bed. Fuzzy jumps into my lap and I hold her close.
People know about me and Gage, everything we tried to keep secret. Joey got high again. Relapsed, like the Blue Spruce handbook said he might. And I’m not going to tell my parents. How much worse can things get than that?
Oh god. Joey’s outpatient. He has a group meeting. What if they test him? My stomach squeezes.
I reach for my laptop and start typing. I’m in it now, lie after lie, to save my brother.