OM:?Did you ask him about it?
FEW:?He was in the shower. [PAUSE] That’s another thing: he’s been closing the door when he takes a shower, like he doesn’t want to be disturbed, and he spends a lot of time grooming himself. He changed his deodorant. He bought seamless underwear. He’s growing a beard.
OM:?Have you stopped making love?
FEW:?No. In fact, we’re having more sex than we’ve ever had.
“Pardon?” Greta said.
OM:?Has the sex changed? Or has your experience of it changed?
FEW:?It’s a whole other flavor. Sometimes the orgasms are so intense, I lose my hearing for twenty minutes.
“What?” Greta said. “What?”
OM: ?So, it’s mutually gratifying.
FEW:?For the first time, ever.
OM:?You’re no longer engaging in display sex. You’re no longer going through the motions. You’re no longer observing yourself from outside the window.
FEW:?I’m present in a way I’ve never been before. We keep our eyes open. We take more time with each other. He even asks me to wrap my arms and legs around him.
OM:?Is he still rough with you? I mean, does he still choke you?
FEW:?No. I imagine he’s choking other people now. On the mat. Anyway, there’s nothing bottled up about him anymore. And he doesn’t wait for me to initiate sex. He flirts, I flirt back, and then he picks me up and carries me to bed. He even lights all the candles.
“Candles!” Greta yelled.
OM:?These seem like positive changes.
FEW:?Maybe he just needed to have sex with someone else. Someone other than me. He’s had very few partners.
OM:?Is it possible you’re jumping to conclusions?
FEW:?I can tell he’s hiding something, some… entanglement. It’s all in his eyebrows. It’s hard to explain.
OM:?You sound more intrigued than upset. In fact, you don’t seem bothered at all.
FEW:?I’m dying of curiosity. I’ve even gone through his wallet, looking for receipts.
OM:?Have you thought about confronting him?
FEW:?I think about it constantly. But I’m not quite there yet.
OM:?Why the hesitation?
FEW:?I’m enjoying the mystery for now. Also, if I ask him to confess, I’ll have to do the same. I mean, I’ll have to confess my own sin.
OM:?Snooping?
FEW:?Cheating.
OM:?Sorry?
FEW:?I’m having my own affair.
“Record scratch,” Greta said.
OM:?[PAUSE] Since when?
FEW:?Few weeks. A month. I’ve been trying to ease my way into telling you about it.
OM:?Why would you do that?
FEW:?I’m usually judgmental of people who do this. And now here I am, doing it.
OM:?May I ask who it is?
FEW:?It’s a woman.
OM:?Detective Benson?
FEW:?Yes.
OM:?So maybe it’s you who needed to have sex with someone else.
FEW:?[PAUSE] My mind is so scattered lately, I’m having trouble remembering how it started.
OM:?She put her tongue in your mouth, as I recall, at the dog park.
“Does it get any gayer?” Greta said.
FEW:?And then I saw where she lives. Or how she lives.
[PAUSE 0:43]
“Hello?” Greta said. “How do I live?”
OM:?Does she live in a mansion?
FEW:?No, no, she lives in an eighteenth-century farmhouse. It has a lot of character, but it’s literally crumbling around her.
Greta laughed. “It’s brick, bitch. It’s been standing for three hundred years.”
FEW:?There’s no heat. If she doesn’t burn wood she’ll literally freeze to death. She sleeps with hot stones under the covers like it’s 1762, and the tap water is brown and disgusting.
“It’s well water,” Greta said. “It has sulfur in it.”
FEW:?She has these heavy linen drapes nailed over the windows—they’re fully lined, custom-made in Copenhagen or someplace—but when the sunlight hits them in late afternoon, you can see hundreds of dark spots. I always figured it was flecks of paint. Turns out it’s a bunch of stink bugs. “They’re hiding in the lining,” Rebekah said casually the other day, “waiting for spring.” Can you imagine?
“But what about the windows themselves?” Greta said. “The beautiful panes!”
FEW:?I don’t know why she doesn’t move. She could easily find a place in town, a place with a thermostat. But the only piece of real estate she’s interested in is my vagina. She talks about it like it’s an apartment she’s renting.
“Uh, that’s a gross misquote,” Greta said. “I compared it to the antechamber, because it’s ten degrees warmer in there.”
OM:?You must be getting something out of it, though. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be doing this. Right?
“Right,” Greta said.
FEW:?She’s very demonstrative. Warm, affectionate. Before we met, I felt frozen. Now I’m a puddle on the floor. It’s not always… comfortable.
OM:?How often do you see each other?
FEW:?Four days a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. But she refuses to call it an affair.
OM:?What does she call it?
FEW:?A fuckfest. I’ll admit it’s very passionate. Our eyes turn completely black almost every time.
OM:?How so?
FEW:?Your pupils dilate when they see something beautiful. Did you know that?
OM:?Oxytocin is a very powerful drug. Women produce more oxytocin than men. So, you’re not only high on dopamine, your brains are also flooded with oxy.
FEW:?I don’t see myself ever identifying as a lesbian.
OM:?Do you look alike, by any chance?
FEW:?Not really.
OM:?Are you sure about that?
FEW:?We’re not even remotely in doppelg?nger territory. [PAUSE] I hope you’re not suggesting I’m a narcissist, or that I’m falling in love with myself. As you may recall, I’d never even masturbated until recently.
OM:?Are you in love with her?
FEW:?It feels that way.
OM:?I’m only saying that the risk for love addiction is strong, and you should proceed with caution. Resist the urge to merge. Maintain your separate identities. Do you connect in other ways, other than sexually?
FEW:?We’re not aligned intellectually—philosophically, I should say. We’re not preoccupied by the same things, and we don’t share the same interests. I don’t read novels or watch movies, and I don’t dwell on the past. I’m interested in science, nature, things that take me outside of myself.
OM:?Okay, so—not that it’s a bad thing, but are you only showing up for the sex?
FEW:?Sometimes it feels almost spiritual. Maybe I’m supposed to learn something from her? She acts like she’s having a religious experience.
OM:?Which religion, if you had to hazard a guess?
“The Church of Euthanasia,” Greta said.
FEW:?[PAUSE] Hare Krishna.
OM:?Interesting.
“Kill me,” Greta said.
OM:?Is she also married?
FEW:?Never married. No kids, no real career, no assets, no retirement, no plans or future goals. She just lives day-to-day like an animal. Sometimes she seems… lost.
“You mean free?” Greta said.
FEW:?It’s kind of difficult for me to relate to her, honestly.
OM:?Is she an artist?
FEW:?She’s a recluse. With a little white dog.