There’s some kinky shit about breast milk or whatever on porn sites, but that’s not something I’m particularly interested in. Especially when my wife is climbing off of me and rushing to our baby, leaving me aching with a throbbing hard-on.
When that sort of thing happens—which is often—Wren always ends up frustrated and so do I. Meaning my brother might be onto something.
“But it’s almost Christmas,” I remind him. “And don’t forget Wren’s birthday is actually on Christmas. You have family stuff to attend to.”
“So do you. That’s why I’m making this offer right now.” He reaches inside of his suit jacket and withdraws a slim brochure from within, slapping it right in the middle of my desk. “One night at this hotel on Madison. Alyssa booked it for tomorrow tonight. She also scheduled a hair and spa appointment for Wren at Bergdorf’s at three.”
“Tomorrow?” I’m blown away by my brother and sister-in-law’s generosity and speed.
Grant nods and rises to his feet. “Have Wren drop Willow off at our place tomorrow at noon. Alyssa will be expecting her since she’s at home with the kids.”
“And she wants to add one more baby to the mix?” I’m incredulous. Bowled over by the offer.
Grant makes a grunting noise. “We have nannies, Crew. Alyssa won’t do all of this alone.”
Alyssa is a very hands-on mother, but she does employ staff, and I can’t blame her considering she has three children and they’re all Lancaster heathens.
Wren refuses to hire a nanny. She wants to spend all of her time with Willow, considering she doesn’t remember her mother being around much when she was younger. And I love that Wren wants to be there for our baby. I feel the same way, but I don’t think Willow will remember anything at this young of an age…
Grant snaps his fingers, making my gaze jerk to his.
“Quit your daydreaming and call your wife, asshole. Let her know she needs to pack. She should probably go shopping too. We made dinner reservations for you. I’ll text you the information.”
Before I can thank him, before I can say anything at all, Grant is gone, slamming my office door behind him.
3
WREN
Two days before Christmas
“Are you sure you don’t mind—”
Alyssa lifts Willow from my arms and cradles her close, smiling down at her. “Oh, she’s so beautiful. I swear she gets prettier every time I see her. And of course, we don’t mind. It’s going to be so fun, having a little girl to take care of.”
Willow gurgles a response, her wide-eyed gaze only for her aunt. Clearly, she’s agreeable with the situation.
Despite my daughter’s reaction, worry courses through me and I wring my now empty hands together. “This is going to be weird, not having her with me.”
“This isn’t the first time you’ve left her alone with someone, right?” Alyssa’s reassuring gaze meets mine. “It’ll be fine. I have lots of experience.”
That isn’t what worries me. I trust Alyssa so much. She’s been the big sister I’ve never had, always there for me with advice about raising babies and dealing with our rather stubborn Lancaster men.
But I’ve never spent more than twenty-four hours away from my daughter before. And while I’m not breastfeeding her as much, considering we’re introducing other food sources to Willow, my breasts already ache at the idea of not feeding her regularly. And I pumped like crazy before we left the house. I have a diaper bag full of bottled breast milk with me to prove it.
“I’ve left her with my mom a few times. Charlotte watched her one afternoon recently, which was nice,” I say, referring to my other sister-in-law. I went Christmas shopping by myself that afternoon, which was total chaos and absolute bliss, all in one.
“She’ll be fine. Because you’re a good baby, right, sweetheart?” Alyssa coos at Willow, which causes her to smile her toothless grin. “Oh, the boys are going to love you.”
Did I mention Grant and Alyssa have three boys? She keeps trying for a girl and Grant always obliges because of course he does.
“I guess I’ll go then.” We’re still standing in the foyer of their cavernous penthouse apartment with the sky-high ceilings that overlooks the entire city, which makes me miss our cozy, low ceiling home filled with walls covered in art or photos of us on our travels. I’ve added photos of Willow of course too, and while I think Grant and Alyssa’s home is stunning, it reminds me of the house I grew up in, which felt like a museum. Untouchable.
A little cold.
Two of my absolute favorite pieces hang in our house. Besides A Million Kisses in Your Lifetime in Willow’s bedroom, I also have Two Pussies in our bedroom, because that was the piece Crew first encouraged me to purchase. The value of that painting has recently skyrocketed. Hannah Walsh Callahan has become a celebrated painter in the art world and to own one of her earliest pieces is a big deal.
“Wren.” Alyssa’s gentle voice breaks through my thoughts, and I blink her smiling face back into focus. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” I nod, trying to convince myself, but it’s not really working so I sigh, my shoulders sagging. “I’m distracted, that’s my problem. My thoughts seem to wander off all the time and I sort of forget what I’m doing? Does that make sense? Like I was thinking about art just now.”
The sympathetic expression on Alyssa’s face is obvious. “Do you miss the trips you and Crew used to take?”
Before we were married, we traveled all over the world in search of art. Crew humored me as I’d poke around endless galleries, always looking for the one piece that would take my breath away. It’s happened a few times over the years.
It happened a lot of times, actually. And Alyssa is right.
“I do miss it,” I admit. “But our lives have changed so much. Crew is working more and I’m staying at home all the time, taking care of the baby. I don’t mind, though. I love being with her, and Crew is with us a lot. He’s not a complete workaholic. We’ll travel in search of art again someday, I’m sure.”
“Why not now? This is actually the perfect time to travel. I know it’s a hassle to take a baby on a trip. They require so much stuff. But you only have one, and the both of you are still young. Plus Crew doesn’t really have to work, does he?” Alyssa’s eyebrows shoot up at the same time Willow reaches out and yanks on a strand of her dark hair. Alyssa starts to laugh, disentangling Willow’s tiny fingers from her hair. “Oh, you naughty girl. You are a Lancaster, aren’t you?”
Willow’s eyes sparkle with mischief, just like a Lancaster’s would.
“That does sounds like a lot of work. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll talk about it with Crew.” I offer her a bright smile, though my gaze for my daughter only. “Let me hold her one more time.”
“No way.” Alyssa turns away from me slightly, her back to me as her hand curves around Willow’s head. “Time for Mommy to go, right, princess? She needs some alone time so she can get pampered and feel like herself again.”
I stare at Alyssa, shocked by how much her words resonate. “How did you know I don’t feel like myself?”