The article is what led Margo to me, or if we’re talking semantics, what led me to Margo. Either way, I can’t be upset with something that brought me her.
We kiss like we have all the time in the world. In this inn in the middle of bumfuck Colorado, it almost seems like we do. Eventually, she pulls away, smiling softly as she presses her forehead into my lips. I give her a tender kiss there, seemingly needing to have my lips on various parts of her at all times.
“I can’t believe we did that,” she says softly.
“Did what?”
“Had sex. Oh my god, I just had sex with my boss. Shit, I just had sex with Carter’s brother and—”
I rip my face away from hers, looking down at her angrily. “You’re really going to say his name while my cum dries on your skin?”
Her full lips form a small O. The regret in her eyes is the only thing stopping me from plummeting into her once again just to prove to the both of us that the only Sinclair brother that matters is me. She reaches up, her fingers cupping the side of my face. “Before you interrupted me, you asshole, I was going to say how I had sex with my ex-boyfriend’s brother, and I loved every single second of it.”
The jealousy flaring in my chest slightly dulls. She runs her thumb over my bottom lip. I nip at it, making her smile and easing some of the tension between us. “I just fucking hate that he ever had the chance to have you like that.”
Her eyes soften as she stares into my eyes. “I probably shouldn’t admit this, but it’s not like we really… you know”—she looks uncomfortable for a moment—“did much. Maybe when we first started dating, but I can pinpoint the moment he found pleasure with other people. He became less interested in me.”
I grab her hips. I want to be gentle with her, but I know the way my fingertips press into her delicate skin, that gentle is not an adjective to describe the way I hold her body against mine. “His fucking loss,” I whisper against her lips.
Unable to stop myself, I kiss her again, not wanting to go long without tasting her. I only pull away far enough to say what else is on my mind. “No matter how much I hate him for ever having you, I’m fucking thrilled that he was dumb enough to not keep you.”
“Why?”
“Because now I have you.”
“We have each other. For a year at least.”
I brush off her comment. If it were up to me, I’d have her longer. I just have to find a way to make that happen. I heave her up off the bed, wrapping her legs around my middle. She squeals but doesn’t protest at all as I walk us to the bathroom. Setting her down on the lip of the large clawfoot tub, I turn the knobs to begin to fill the bath. Hot water cascades from the faucets, covering the red roses the hotel staff had lined the tub with.
Margo watches me carefully, her lips pressed together as steam begins to billow around us once again. Once the water fills the bottom, I silently gesture for her to get in. She hesitantly dips one toe in, testing the temperature before stepping all the way in. I follow her. We find a comfortable position with my back against the end of the tub and her back to me.
She finds a bottle of bubbles on the edge of the tub, pouring almost half of it in as the water rises around us. Our bodies become fully submerged until bubbles threaten to spill over the sides.
Margo plays with the bubbles, letting them run through her fingers. “You’re quiet. What are you thinking about?”
“Just our earlier conversation.”
“About Carter?”
“I think you’re saying his name because you want to be punished for saying it…”
She shrugs against me. “Maybe.”
“I’ll remember that.”
Margo settles deeper into me. “Okay but really, tell me what you were thinking. You’re always so in your head. I want to see into it, to know what’s going through that brilliant mind of yours.”
I hold my tongue. I doubt she wants to know how much my “brilliant mind” has been muddled with thoughts of her recently. Way more than what’s acceptable for someone who’s supposed to only end up pretending to be engaged.
I trace the delicate slope of her shoulder. Her skin is so tan compared to mine. “You really want to know?”
She nods.
“I was just thinking about how I’ve never really cared that you weren’t mine. It didn’t matter to me that you were my brother’s. It didn’t stop me from wanting you. And deep down, I always knew eventually I’d stop at nothing to have you.”
My body stills against his. I turn my head, needing to look at him. I expect to find his usual smirk on his mouth. One that would tell me that he was joking, but I don’t find it. He looks right back at me, his eyebrows raised slightly, like he’s wanting me to call him out.
“You didn’t,” I breathe.
“You telling me that I’m lying?” he challenges.
I shake my head. “I just…”
Beck moves a wet piece of hair from my face. “Deep down, I think you knew there was something between us back then. I just think you didn’t want to admit it to yourself.”
My mind catapults to a memory I’ve worked hard at trying to forget. To one that wouldn’t ever truly go away, no matter how hard I tried.
I toss in bed, letting out an aggravated sigh that I haven’t been able to fall asleep. I spent an entire day in the sun, sleep should be reaching me easily. And yet it doesn’t.
Carter lets out a snore from behind me. I roll my eyes, annoyed he was able to fall asleep so quickly. Or maybe it’s the fact that he’d come in with promises of having sex with me. I’d argued at first, telling him we can’t possibly sleep together in the same house as the rest of the family. He’d had a good point when he said the beach house was fairly large. They wouldn’t be able to hear us. After his persistence, I’d agreed to it. It’d seemed like forever since we’d been intimate, and I missed my boyfriend.
Too bad he spent a few minutes fingering me and the moment I’d reached to return the favor, he’d stopped and complained of a headache from drinking all day. I hadn’t had an orgasm, and I nowhere near felt comfortable finding it for myself with him snoring next to me.
The inability to fall asleep mixed with the tightness in my stomach from being brought to the brink of release and not being able to get it has me throwing the soft sheet from my feet and getting up.
Carter doesn’t move an inch, too deep in sleep to notice his girlfriend leave the bed. I search for my things in the dark, sliding my flip flops on and grabbing my bag full of art supplies off the chair in the corner.
Stepping in front of the door, I take one last peek at Carter. Deep down, I think I’m hoping for him to wake up and ask me to come back to bed. I want the boyfriend who used to care about me back. Now, he seems disinterested in me, like I’m more of a nuisance than someone he loves. Every time I bring it up, he blames it on the stress of starting his first real job out of college. He keeps promising once he gets settled in there that things will change.
I won’t hold my breath. We’ve been making long distance work, but I’m moving out to California to be closer to him. Maybe that will change things. Deep down I’m worried that it won’t matter. Him wanting almost nothing to do with me anymore when we actually are together isn’t very promising. I still hold onto hope. He’s the only real boyfriend I’ve ever known, the only man I’ve ever loved. I want to cling to what we used to be—what we could be again—for as long as possible.