“Life connects you, but death binds you.”
It took us several minutes to come back to ourselves, the thrumming of his energy around me growing stronger. Not quite where it was before, but there was no denying it now—our connection was back.
Slowly, I lifted my lashes and found him staring at me, both of us heaving and gasping. His expression was unreadable, but I could sense the emotion underneath. To my shock, it wasn’t resentment or anger.
It was relief.
Serenity.
He watched me for another beat, as if he was making sure the bond was really there again, before he grabbed my face, kissing me so deeply and passionately, he shredded through any strength I had left.
Pulling out of me, he lowered me onto my shaky legs. The sensation of him leaving my body made me gasp for air. As if he were my barrier, my wall of defense, his body my shield from the pain. The moment he slipped out, the pain and agony attacked.
Pictures of my uncle, stretching from when I was a small child to seeing his scorched face, flashed in my head. The lost connection was excruciating. His raw voice and pleading eyes begging me to end his life punched me in the gut. Without me coming back into his life, he and Ling would still be alive. Happy. Together.
The grief hit me like a train, knocking the oxygen from my lungs. A howl struck my heart, emotion clobbering me under its force. Warwick didn’t speak, only drew me to his warm chest, his arms engulfing me, keeping me on my feet. My frame shook with sobs, sinking beneath the guilt and anguish.
Losing Andris was losing my father all over again. I may have found a blood uncle and a mother, but they were practically strangers to me. Andris was my family. He’d been there on my birthdays, every holiday, even when I lost my first tooth. He played games with me and bandaged me when I got hurt. My dad, Andris, and Rita were my security growing up. Those I trusted and turned to.
Now they were all gone.
Being buried alive under the weight, my sobs turned to violent wails. The pain seemed never-ending.
“Use me.” Warwick’s deep voice stroked my ear. “Don’t let the darkness take you from me.” He brushed my tangled, wet hair from my face, his mouth grazing my neck as water sprayed down on us. “Use me, Kovacs. Feed off me… take whatever you need to get through this.”
I understood what he was telling me. Giving me permission to latch on to his power, ease my pain, absorb his strength similar to a vampire. Whatever it took for me to breathe. To get through the crushing agony.
A better person might say no. A stronger person would want to do it on their own, but I was neither. I was twisted and fucked up as he said I was. And similar to a junkie being offered a hit, I was too desperate to turn down the notion of feeling numb again, especially when the other option seemed like endless pain, anguish, and darkness.
Going off instinct, I let my soul dive into him. I could feel for a moment he wanted to wall up against the intrusion, but he took a deep breath, allowing me fully in. The intimacy that twisted between us was excruciating discomfort and unbelievable desire. It pulsed every nerve, made both of us groan as another climax built up.
Erotic. Forbidden.
I took. I became gluttonous with need, the lightness of my heart, my soul. Insatiable to the ease of my grief. Voracious in absorbing his strength.
“Brexley, stop.” He growled in my ear, his hands landing on the wall by my head as if he needed a little help to stand.
I couldn’t stop. I was rabid. Insatiable no matter how much I took.
“Enough!” He shoved me back into the wall; my lids burst open. He watched me as the high evened out. I still felt heartache, but it was distant, livable. My physical pain was gone entirely.
I felt no guilt for wanting more.
A smirk hitched the side of his mouth, his legs a little unsteady. “Fuck, princess. You have a ravenous appetite.”
“I do.” I didn’t wait for his response as I dropped to my knees. There was no foreplay. I wrapped my tongue around him, sucking him as far back as I could into my mouth. His size made my eyes sting.
“Fucking hell!” He hissed, one hand staying on the wall, the other threading through my locks, pushing farther down my throat. His erection hardened and grew, choking me.
Wetness dripped from me as his fingers dug into my head, my fingers curling around his ass, pushing in. My shade curled around him, licking down his back, taking his balls into my imaginary mouth.
“Fuck! Fuck!” His eyes rolled back. The total power I wielded over him hardened my nipples, lighting my skin on fire.
He quickly flipped it on me. The feel of his tongue slipped inside my pussy, making me groan loudly around him.
Grabbing my head, he tugged it back, yanking me up to my feet.
“I wasn’t done.” I frowned.
“Neither am I.” He flipped me around, pushing my breasts into the cool tiles as he parted my legs. I was so ready, and he slid inside, his girth hitting every nerve ending, causing me to fist and claw at the tile, my head spinning. “Gods, I missed this. Missed you.” He rumbled in my ear, thrusting in again. “I never want to stop being inside you. Whether with my cock or whatever this connection is between us. Don’t ever cut it off again.” His pace was steady and deep, making sure I felt every inch of him, striking me with electricity with every thrust. “You’re mine, sotet démonom. Forever.”
Every time he called me that, desire sprung on me like a beast.
“And here I thought you didn’t believe in marriage,” I verbally poked.
“I don’t.” He hoarsely grunted in my ear. “Who said anything about marriage? With fae, mates go way deeper.”
“So, you think I’m your mate?” I groaned, our bodies moving together.
He balled up my hair in his fist, pulling it back as he rammed in deeper. Grabbing the soap, he lathered it, rubbing it through my tresses and over my body, cleaning the blood and dirt from me as he steadily fucked the hell out of me. His rough hands slid over my nipples, gliding through my folds.
“Think we go way past mates.” He growled against the back of my neck, going harder. His hands kneaded at my breasts. The feel of his fingers rolled over my clit as a tongue slipped between my ass cheeks.
My voice rose so loud he crushed his mouth to mine to keep my cries muted.
“Harder! Fuck me until I can’t breathe! Until I am nothing but particles.” My shade nipped at his ear, biting down on the curve of his neck.
He pumped into me, pushing my bones against the wall with a bruising force, moving me up and down the wall.
He unleashed. Pounding ruthlessly into me, where I felt nothing but him. Bringing me back to life and destroying me at the same time.
Life and death.
“Warwick!” With a blackout roar, we both came together. His cum filled me so much, it spilled down my leg.
Lights flickered, and I felt the links of our bond cinch into an unbreakable knot, exploding my orgasm through me like fireworks.
Deep inside me, fire and power came roaring to the surface. For a moment, I could see the nectar, glowing steadily, then it suddenly flared with power, singeing the edges of the box it was in as though it felt the energy coming from Warwick and me. Our connection filling it with life.
My senses were flooded with the magic I experienced the night at the castle. I could taste and feel it again. The name I’d heard called to me, but slipped from my conscious, came crawling from the depths.