Yes, they’re snakes. Evil, slippery, horrible things.
I giggle and slap my hand over my mouth to suppress the sound. It doesn’t matter, the music overshadows it anyway. There’s no way I can cut through it.
Grey takes a step closer to me. His brows are scrunched down and together. Doesn’t change the fact that she’s still clinging to him like he belongs to her.
“You’re a good-looking couple.” I step forward and pat Paris’ cheek. “I know what his cock tastes like. I know you do, too. Obviously. But I’m just saying… I think he likes my mouth better.”
She reels back, her mouth dropping open.
I turn. My legs aren’t working right, but I make quick work getting the fuck out of dodge.
Jess is gone, and so is Willow. Amanda finds me, though, and she’s with the girl who gave me the pill. We dance and dance until I don’t think I can move anymore. My thoughts go blissfully blank. No more Greyson, no more Paris, no more ballet. Just music and my heartbeat and the lights dancing across our skin.
They keep catching my attention. The lights, that is. They remind me of the ones we use for the shows. Used, I guess, since I’m not part of that world anymore. Standing under the spotlights on stage was warm. Hot, even. Add in pointe shoes and difficult choreography… It was a lot, and I miss it.
And then I’m airborne.
30
VIOLET
I’m lifted and flipped around, thrown over a shoulder. An arm bands the back of my thighs to my assailant’s chest. I raise my head, but I don’t see Paris or her lackey, or the snake she was tangling with. Until I inhale his scent, and understanding dawns.
Ah.
Grey carries me outside and down the block. He doesn’t set me down, and I don’t fight it. The world is tilting, and I’d rather tumble headfirst into traffic than let him assist me. Right now, he’s just taking charge.
Nothing I can do about that.
“Your girlfriend already get you off? Is that why you came back for me?” I ask the concrete.
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
“Does she suck your dick like I do?”
He groans. “You said that really fucking loud back there, you know.”
I roll my eyes and relax further. His steps aren’t headache-inducing. It’s kind of nice actually, to be off my feet. I let myself sway with his movements.
“Hey. You pass out?” He jostles me.
I yelp and grab his waist. “Easy, asshole. What do I look like? A sack of potatoes?” I consider that, then frown. “Don’t answer that.”
He chuckles. “We’re almost back.”
“I don’t have my key,” I lie.
“It’s not in your pocket?”
It’s weird, having a conversation with him while my ass is right next to his face. He doesn’t seem bothered by it, though. In fact, his pace is slowing. And then he sets me down, and the world flips again.
“Whoa.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “I didn’t sign up for this ride.”
“You’ve been dancing for hours.” He moves my arm to loop around his waist, then puts his around my shoulders.
“Hours?” I shake my head, and my stomach heaves. “More like minutes. I just got there.”
He laughs and shows me his phone. Three o’clock in the morning. The game ended forever ago…
I groan and close my eyes, but he just shakes my arm.
“Keep your eyes open, Vi. We’ve got to get you inside.”
I exhale. “I don’t want to go inside.”
He pauses and sets me against the wall outside the hotel. Its sign glows above the door, feet away. “Why not?”
I rub my hand under my nose. “Because inside, everything becomes real. And I just really don’t want to live in the real world for a little while longer.”
He stares at me. He’s a starer. I don’t know if he realizes it, because he doesn’t stare at anyone else. Just me. And it’s kind of creepy, sometimes. But other times, it feels like he’s trying to carve out a spot in my soul for him, and that does seem nice. Like he wants room inside me for him.
What he doesn’t know is that he’s been digging his grave in my chest for weeks, and me in his. We’re going to trade one day. My heart for his. An even exchange.
“Are you going to have your wicked way with me, Mr. Devereux?” I run my finger down his chest.
He steps closer, between my legs.
Boy, does this feel familiar. I’m not mad about it.
No matter how hard I fuck you, I’ll still hate your guts.
I’ve got to wonder if there’s room for hate and love in the same space. In us. I don’t know if I want to consider it. Leaning into the hate seems a lot less scary.
But wouldn’t I still be in the same predicament with or without the accident? With the possibility of stress fractures knocking me out of the game? Indefinitely, maybe.
I’m twenty. How much longer would I be able to sustain this career?
That was always the nightmare floating over my head. That my body would give out well before I was ready to retire. It led me to CPU. It led to the business degree I don’t care about, because a backup plan is better than nothing. Dance classes came first, and fitting my regular college classes around that schedule was always my priority.
Except, now? The only thought rattling through my head is that I shouldn’t have had a backup plan. I should’ve gritted my teeth and worked through the break, through the pain, and come out stronger on the other side because I had no other options.
Did a backup plan make me weak?
Too many questions and no answers for me.
“Violet,” Greyson says softly. “You’re in no shape for that.”
“I’m as good as I’m going to get.” I let out a harsh laugh. One that scrapes my vocal cords. “Newsflash, Grey. I’m the broken girl.”
He looks down at his hand, then back at me. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
I sneer. I should be happy from the Molly, I should be floating still. I miss that experience. I miss the euphoria of it.
Instead, I’m leaning against a cold brick wall with an even colder man at my front. And I’m burning hot for him.
So instead of answering, I fist the front of his shirt like I’d seen him do to an opponent before he decked them. I don’t go for the hit, though. I yank him down and rise at the same time, slamming my lips to his.
They slide against mine, and I take that as a comfort. I take. It’s what I do.
I take and take and take.
The people in my life who know me best, they know I take and don’t give back. My mother, for instance, always leaving those pieces of herself behind. I collect them because the alternative is worse. I kept them to remind myself of her, because even when we’re standing in front of each other, she’s not there. She lives in baubles and forgotten bits.
My father? I harbor the watercolor memories of him.
Willow? I steal her generosity, I leech her comfort.
Greyson.
I’ll suck the anger clean out of his body, because I think he can live without it—while I need it to keep going.
His lips move against mine, giving me exactly what I need, and I open my mouth. I take his tongue. I palm his dick through his jeans, tug at his waistband to get him closer. Fuck public indecency. I bite his lip, then flick at it with the tip of my tongue. His blood is metallic and hot.