It was stupid.
And I knew that.
But I sure wasn’t going to admit as much to him.
“I held my twin sister in my arms while she bled out on my chest. You think I didn’t learn from my inexperience or lack of foresight?” I narrowed my eyes at him. This time he wasn’t the one backing me up against the wall. Instead, I advanced on him, a finger raised. “Don’t ever tell me I don’t respect the people I dragged into the operation. I more than respect them. I love them. Lilah and Dante mean everything to me.”
“I don’t doubt that,” he grumbled like he was insinuating something.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, it’s clear you had a thing for Dante. You kissed him.”
“I loved the idea of him!” I practically screeched, throwing up my hands. I didn’t get mad about this anymore. Yet, he pulled out the worst in me, the part I didn’t have control over. “I’ve told everyone this before. Even Lilah knows.”
“What idea exactly, Izzy? You like the idea of Dante with you instead of your sister?”
I wiped a hand over my face, so furious that I was allowing him to purposely goad me. I knew he was but I couldn’t stop myself from feeding into it. “That was so long ago! And if you must know, Dante not only used to be our neighbor, but he was also my friend, Cade. He was a friend like none I’ve ever had. I had guy friends who tried to hook up with me, get me drunk, or have me try drugs. They enjoyed me acting out and getting wild. But when I really fucked up, Dante was the only one who didn’t disappear and still believed in me. He was my friend.”
Cade crossed his arms and waited. I gave him a second to insult my explanation, but he didn’t. It was like he wanted me to confess more.
“He accepted me. He gave me a chance. So yes, I kissed the man. Yes, it was fucking stupid. Yes, I realize I betrayed my sister’s trust. I was blinded by the fact that he was there for me, him being a real friend when most were assholes. And then I fell for—” I stopped, almost ready to confess something I never had before. “I fell for a lot of dumb shit. My relationships were unhealthy, but he wasn’t. He was the family friend, the rock. He was maybe really my only friend—”
“What was I to you then?” His voice suddenly sounded broken and accusatory.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “You? You were . . . you are my fucking enemy, Cade! You tear me down every chance you get. The first time I met you, you threw in my face that I was an addict and couldn’t be trusted.”
“I stand by that assessment back then. You were going into dangerous undercover work.”
I couldn’t keep my eyes from bulging. I think my hand even twitched because I was ready to smack him. “If you weren’t my boss, I’d—” I shook my head, so ready to inflict physical pain upon him.
And then I saw it.
His real smile.
The one nobody ever got to see. Cade in action. Cade in malice. Cade in destruction mode, relishing in the chaos he was about to create.
“Go on, dollface, say it.”
“You’re unhinged, you know that?” I said, but my heart had picked up speed. My body clenched, my pussy grew wet, and my breath caught in my chest just feeling what was in the air between us.
Even if I knew it was dangerous, pushing Cade to that smile was so enticing that I couldn’t help it.
He chuckled. “Oh, really?” He leaned against the wall as he casually eyed me up and down. “If that’s the case, you’re delusional thinking you could work well with me tonight. I work alone.”
“Just because you’re ridiculous doesn’t mean I can’t handle it.”
He hummed low before he pushed off the wall, forcing me to move back. He had a look in his eye I hadn’t seen before, the look of someone on the hunt, someone ready to capture his prey.
He stopped a centimeter before his body touched mine, and I stared up at him, completely aware that the heat between us wasn’t a work-related issue.
“You can handle this?”
“What?” I whispered.
He made a point of looking down between us before he took that last step into my space. Our bodies collided, the sparks flew, my mind scrambled, and my heart jackhammered the blood through my veins.
“This,” he murmured into my ear. “We might be enemies, Ms. Hardy, but this is where we aren’t. This is inevitable when we work in the same building.”
There was no use denying it, not when my nipples stood to attention as his hard cock pressed into my stomach. I breathed his air, and he breathed mine.
“And do you think we should indulge in it?” I asked softly, as I stared at where our bodies connected because I wanted him to say it, to admit that I affected him the same way I knew he affected me.
“No.” His response felt like ice water being poured over my head. “And that’s all the more reason for me to have you fired at this point, because I normally do indulge in shit I shouldn’t.”
And those words felt like fire licking over my body, warming me up again.
“From the reports we get, you’ve actually done a lot of what you should,” I whispered. He’d kept businesses afloat, helped to curb trafficking, money laundering, big drug deals. He’d done so much.
“I’ve done a lot of bad too.”
“Sometimes good requires bad.”
He nodded a few times as he stared at me staring at him. I swear he was dissecting me, like he could find every hidden answer. Like the algorithm would show him something nobody else could see.
Then he took a deep breath, and with it, he stepped back, ready to walk away.
Instantly, my body missed the tension and the proximity of him. The closeness of Cade was dangerous. I knew I could end up reliant on someone like him, and that I couldn’t afford. Not when I’d come this far on my own.
“You’re right.” He cracked his knuckles in front of me as if he was readying himself for his next words. “What’s the bad in us that will bring the good, Izzy? Is it indulging so we can get it out of our systems? Is it me firing you quickly, which would be bad but end up good for everyone in the end?”
“Don’t you dare.” I stood up ramrod straight. “I deserve to be here.”
He chewed on his cheek before running one tattooed hand over his jawline. I read the letters that were on each of his fingers as he did it.
CHAOS.
And I thought, as his smile creeped up again, I was about to witness it.
“Dare? Is there something else you do dare me to do?” He waited for me to give him permission, to step over that line. We’d danced around it for years, and I knew if we took the jump now, it’d change our dynamic forever.
“Would you even take a dare?”
“Try me.”
“I dare you to do what you want to me. What I know you’ve been wanting to do.”
He didn’t even wait a second before his tattooed hand shot out so fast, I barely saw the blur of ink as it flew to my neck and pushed me up against the wall where he held me captive as his mouth descended on mine.
He didn’t kiss me. He consumed me.
He commanded my mouth to open with his, pushed his tongue in and tasted every part he could of me. I met his kiss with the same passion, like I was ravenous for him, like I’d been starved of him for too long. I clawed at his back and moaned into his mouth as his other hand went into my shorts. I didn’t care that we were in a hallway where our coworkers might walk in, I didn’t care about my job. I didn’t care about anything but having him.