‘“You have a lion’s heart, mon ami.” The big lad took my hand, pulled me into a fierce, tear-stained hug. “See to it those monstrous things do not take it from you.”
‘“Hearts only bruise. They never break.”
‘I patted Baptiste on the back, released my hold. And then I turned to Aaron. This stuck-up lordling prick I’d so despised, who I’d fought and bled with, who I’d once never dreamed of thinking of as a friend, let alone famille.
‘“Adieu, brother.”
‘Aaron took my arm and led me away, and though Greyhand watched sidelong, he didn’t follow. When we were out of earshot by the horses, Aaron released his grip, meeting my eyes. “I pray God and Mothermaid watch over you, de León. But more, I pray you watch over yourself. And above all, watch Seraph Talon.”
‘“… Talon? Why?”
‘“The night the Empress arrived at San Michon. The night he … caught Baptiste and me. At the feast, I swear I felt someone in my head. A touch light as feathers, but still … I fear Talon didn’t discover us by accident as he said. I fear he wanted rid of me.”
‘“To what end?”
‘“I know not. But he is not to be trusted, Gabriel. Watch your back.”
‘I swallowed thick. Nodded once.
‘Aaron embraced me, and I hugged him back, gutted at the thought of one more loss. “I say you then farewell, brother,” he told me. “But not goodbye. We will meet again.”
‘I watched Aaron and Baptiste ride together, off into the dark and the cold, side by side. And I wondered if it was true, that our paths would cross once more. I asked myself if goodness could come of sin, and if so, what sin was at all. I asked myself if God loved us, how it was he could hate that we found love ourselves. How he could allow such suffering to go unanswered. How he could have deemed it wise to create a world that cradled horrors such as these.
‘I asked myself, but I heard no answers.
‘I wasn’t ready to listen yet.’
XVII
SWORD OF THE REALM
‘ABBOT KHALID STOOD before the convocation, the Redeemer’s statue above, the faux Grail behind. All eyes were downturned as he spoke the gospel in his booming voice, but still, I found my gaze drifting from the altar to our honoured guests. None could blame me, of course. San Michon Cathedral had never played host to such an entourage.
‘Empress Isabella, First of Her Name, beloved bride of Alexandre III, Protector of God’s Holy Church, Sword of the Faith and Emperor of all Elidaen sat in the first row, a host of a hundred soldiers and maids-at-arms about her. Isabella was resplendent in royal yellow, her brow graced with diamonds, eyes glittering like sapphires as she watched the mass. The honour being done to me by her presence was lost on no one.
‘My heart was thudding in my chest, palms damp with sweat. And at gospel’s end, when the notes of the choir had dimmed like sunset light, the abbot turned his eyes to the gables high above, the heaven beyond.
‘“Almighty Father, Mothermaid and Martyrs, hear my prayer. Through trials of Blood and Hunt and Blade, there stands one faithful servant among us deemed worthy to be sainted silver. Hear him now and judge him true in this, his pledge.”
‘I felt all in the Cathedral watching as I stood. But I stole a glance at the choir loft and saw the only one who mattered. The distance between us seemed impassable. But still, I could feel Astrid beside me as I walked to the altar. My mouth dry. My belly, butterflies.
‘“Kneel, Initiate de León,” Khalid commanded. “And speak your holy oath.”
‘I’d worked myself bloody to carve my place here. I’d almost broken upon this wheel. The loss of ma famille and friends, the trials I’d faced – all had burned away anything of the boy I’d been. The sin of my birth, the knowledge that God would punish me for it, the dark truth of what I was – I accepted all as a price to be paid to protect the things I loved. And though I hadn’t realized it at the time, I knew every fall I’d taken and mistake I’d made along the way had led me here, to this moment. I’d looked into the eyes of forever and seen the depths of the evil we faced. I knew the dedication it would take to send it back to hell. And so, as the choir raised their voices in song, I made the sign of the wheel before the Redeemer who’d died for my salvation. And I sank to my knees.
‘“In the sight of God Almighty, creator of heaven and earth, of all that was and will ever be, I pledge my life to the Order of San Michon.
‘“I am the light in the night. I am hope for the hopeless. I am the fire that rages between this and all world’s ending. I shall know no famille, save these my brothers. I shall love no woman, save our Mother and Maid. I shall seek no respite, save in paradise at the right hand of my Heavenly Father.
‘“And in sight of God and his Seven Martyrs, I do here vow: let the dark know my name and despair. So long as it burns, I am the flame. So long as it bleeds, I am the blade. So long as it sins, I am the saint.
‘“And I am silver.”
‘“Before Almighty God, the Mothermaid, the Seven Martyrs and all the angels of the heavenly host, I name you Brother of the Hunt. You knelt as but an Initiate of the Faith.” Khalid stepped back, cheeks twisted in his scarred smile. “Arise now—”
‘“Hold.”
‘Stillness fell across the Cathedral, all eyes turning to Isabella. The Empress rose, and making the sign of the wheel, stepped to the altar before me.
‘“Blood spilled is blood owed,” she said. “Valour proven must be valour repaid. There is no doubt in our eyes that the hand of heaven is upon you, Gabriel de León. All our empire stands in your debt. So our empire gives what reward it can.”
‘Isabella drew her sword with a flourish.
‘“In sight of God and Mothermaid and Martyrs, we name you defender of our empire and keeper of our holy faith. We bid you be just to our subjects, and merciless to our enemies, and true in all measures under heaven. You are our sword. Our shield. Our hope. Arise, Gabriel de León, Silversaint of San Michon, and Chevalier of Elidaen.”
‘A great roar went up among the congregation, and I felt my heart soar in my chest. Looking about, I saw their faces as they came to their feet: Theo and Fincher, de Séverin and the Philippes. Khalid’s smile. Talon’s grudging nod. Even Frère Greyhand’s thin, cruel lips seemed to be suffering a slight curvature, though I was certain he’d put it down to a trick of the light. The Empress stood, beaming like the long-lost sun, all her host applauding. And I stole another look up into the choir then, past Chloe Sauvage and Sister Esmeé, at last finding the one who mattered most. The only one who mattered at all.
‘Astrid Rennier. Smiling at me.
‘Though I could say nothing with all eyes upon me, I hoped she knew. And glancing to the Empress, I vowed I’d repay that girl for all she’d done.
‘No matter what it cost me.
‘We feasted in the refectory, a spread fit for royalty, though Isabella herself didn’t attend. The initiates who’d called me frailblood, who’d pissed in my boots and shit in my bed, all raised their tankards, and I put my grudges behind me, knowing these lads were better my brothers than my enemies. I was a sixteen-year-old boy. A hero. A sword of the fucking realm. There’s no glory so sweet as glory earned. And yet there was a weight on me that needed lifting. Words that needed speaking, yet unspoken.