‘She bit my lip, cold hands at the buttons of my greatcoat, at my tunic now, slipping up inside and running her fingers over the muscle and ink beneath. She hissed softly, cold hands burning on silver ink, fingernails digging into my skin.
‘“You’ll hurt yourself,” I whispered.
‘“A little pain never hurt anyone,” she breathed.
‘My hair tumbled about her cheeks as she kissed me again, like the sun once kissed the silverbell that grew around our home. She brushed burning lips across the ink at my throat, my chest, fingernails drifting to my belt and dragging the buckle free as she sank slow, ever so slow to her knees.
‘“Stop,” I begged. “Please.”
‘She looked up, pupils so wide with hunger her eyes were black. “I’ve missed you.”
‘“And I you,” I whispered, heart breaking. “More than anything.”
‘She kissed me through my leathers, root to aching crown, and as she pulled my britches lower, the want in me was so real I felt my knees buckle.
‘“Just a little,” she pleaded.
‘“I can’t.”
‘“Just a mouthful, love.”
‘“I can’t.”
‘She hissed, dark and shivering, rearing back like a serpent. I had to close my eyes against the sight of her anger, the break too close to the surface.
‘I never wanted any of this.
‘When I opened my eyes, she was standing off in the dark, slender arms folded, the storm wind blowing long locks around her. God in heaven, she was beautiful. It was all I could do to stop myself from sinking to my knees, to plead, to pray. Everything fading. Everything falling apart.
‘“I love you,” I told her.
‘“If that were true, you wouldn’t tell me no.”
‘“Astrid … please … I need my strength.”
‘Black eyes flickered to the distant fire. “For her.”
‘“She has no one else.”
‘“She’s not your daughter. She’s not your famille.”
‘“I know that!”
‘“Do you?” She glanced to me, a strand of long black hair caught at the edge of her lips. “You’re coming apart, love. You’ve given too much of yourself to this already, and you’re still nowhere close. You’re forgetting why you left us, Gabriel.”
‘“No,” I replied, voice like iron. “I remember.”
‘She turned to face me, and I could see bloody tears in her lashes. “You’re headed to a place I can’t follow. I don’t want you to go.”
‘“Dior will be safe in San Michon. And next time Danton comes, I’ll be ready, I’ll—”
‘“That girl isn’t why you came here. Why you left Patience. Why you left me.”
‘My hands curled into fists. “I know why I came here. I don’t need you to remind me. I see it every time I close my fucking eyes!”
‘“Please don’t be angry,” she whispered.
‘I hung my head, shutting my eyes against the burning tears, her whisper the only sound in the dark. “Tell me you love me.”
‘“Of course I do.”
‘“Promise you’ll never leave me.”
‘“How could I?” I sank to my haunches, head in my hands. “You’re all I ever wanted. The two of you … you were the pieces I never knew were missing. You—”
‘“Gabe?”
‘I opened my eyes, saw Dior standing in the dark, staring at me. She looked frightened, cold, that fine frockcoat dusted with snow. Ashdrinker was unsheathed in her hands, dark starsteel gleaming in the light of the distant flames.
‘“I heard you shouting. Were you talking to someone?”
‘A glance told me Astrid was gone; a wraith vanished into the gloom.
‘“Myself,” I replied, rising to my feet and buckling my belt. “Just myself.”
‘“You’re bleeding,” she said, pointing to her lip.
‘I licked at the scratch, the blood, my fangs still long and sharp in my gums. “It’s nothing. You shouldn’t be away from the fire. It’s freezing out here.”
‘I grabbed her hand, dragging her along beside me.
‘“Are you aright?” she asked.
‘“I’m fine. Just … don’t leave the light again. It’s dangerous.”
‘“Gabriel, I’m worried about you.”
‘“Stop fretting on me, girl.” I snatched Ashdrinker from her hand with a snarl. “And give me that bloody sword. You’ve no ken how to fucking use it, anyway.”
‘What is thy game, Gabriel?
‘“Shut up, Ash.”
‘Thy threads unravelling. Thy knots undone. Long years did we face the d-dark together, and I tell thee true, tell thee true, I am sorry for my part in it. But at the end of this road lies madn—”
‘I sheathed the blade, silencing her voice. Dior stared at me as we made it back to the circle of the flames. I crouched close to the crackling heat, shivering, licking at the bite on my lip. The girl stood opposite, hands folded inside her fine-cut sleeves.
‘“You know … you could teach me,” she murmured. “If you were so worried.”
‘I glanced up, meeting bright blue eyes. “Teach you what?”
‘She waved at Ashdrinker, risking a small smile. “How to use a sword?”
‘“I don’t think so.”
‘Her smile dimmed. “Why not? I can handle a knife.”
‘“Because a blade and half a clue are more dangerous than no blade or clue at all.”
‘“Gabriel, listen to me—”
‘“No. It only encourages you.”
‘“Enough people have already died on my account,” she snapped. “I don’t want other people fighting my battles for me.”
‘“And yet, here I am.”
‘Her jaw dropped a little at that, swiftly clenched. “You know, I survived for years without a soul to help me. I was raised in shit, and I clawed my way out myself. I’ve saved your arse three times now by my counting, and you still give me no credit. You do treat me different now you know I’m a girl. You’re not my papa. I’m not your daughter.”
‘“Damn right you’re not. She’d make ten of you.”
‘She took a step back then. Like I’d struck her. “Goddamn, you’re a sonofabitch. I’m trying to be nice. I tell you I’m worried, and you just spit in my face like a fucking—”
‘“Shut up.”
‘“You don’t tell me to shut up! Who the hell do you th—”
‘“No, shut up!” I hissed, raising one hand. “Listen!”
‘Jaw clenched, scowling in fury, still, she took it in check. Tilting her head, Dior strained to hear. The storm was blustering above, whipping through the trees, but there, above the clamour, it came again, dim, off to the west.
‘She met my eyes, breathing a little quicker. “… Thunder?”
‘“Those are footsteps.”
‘Dior frowned. “Big ones.”